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Rusty Featherstone Profile
Rusty Featherstone

@rustyfeathers

Followers
23,232
Following
106
Media
13
Statuses
119

Fat dogs like slow cars

Joined December 2013
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
Red wine makes me want to text her a GIF
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
I’ve seen more boobs on the internet in one sitting than my grandpa has seen in his whole life
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
New Year’s resolution: griddy more
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
Christmas morning stats: Presents: 7 Mimosas: 5 Texts to her: 2.5 Times I’ve listened to heavy metal: 1
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
My dream girl: 1. Owns a cookbook 2. Doesn’t follow it 3. Has a big butt
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
I’m the Michael Jordan of missing my high school girlfriend
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
Going for the family record of wine drank at dinner tonight. All red. No brakes.
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
The ball’s been in her court for a couple years now
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
You guys eat your chipotle left to right or right to left?
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
My life is literally a movie
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
I have the body of a man whose wife fucks her pilates instructor to counting crows song’s (I’m thinking about getting in shape this year.)
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
My type: 1. Hates every fiber of my being 2. Is kinda tan
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
11 months
If I’m drinking and I can see my reflection you’re have 0% of my attention
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
Giving up small titty goth girls for lent… just kidding can you imagine?
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
Fellas… how we feeling about calling girls a “little rascal” in bed?
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
Wicked Wolf bar review:
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
Tonight’s going to be a fucking movie
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
I’m addicted to missing the toilet for the first 3 seconds
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
Flying Embers review:
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
No one in this Arby’s knows I’m not wearing underwear
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
TD Garden review:
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
New shirt!
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
Just rizzed the tits off myself walking past the mirror
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
7 months
I wish Upside Down by Jack Johnson was 30 minutes long
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
Dibs on being the most scared and paranoid tonight
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
6 AM Uber BLASTING maroon 5 is actually a waking nightmare
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
I think those 3 bottles of wine went bad I don’t feel so well
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
If being sad was a bicycle race, I’m Lance Armstrong and the trophy is made of my tears.
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
Mirrors make no sense. Oh yeah for sure sand shows me what’s happening in my life.
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
Don’t let their coarse hands and kind eyes fool you, the construction workers on my walk home only want one thing and it’s fucking disgusting.
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
Just solved a Rubik’s cube while your mother watched.
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
11 months
Thinking about texting her a meme to break the ice
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
Left class 7 minutes ago. They’re probably all talking about how I’m definitely pooping rn.
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
Pulled into her house with the drum solo from Phil Collins’ in the air tonight playing (She knows I mean business)
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
8 months
This pee has been going so long I’m worried people thing it’s a quick poop
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
On my knees crying in the living room to the iCarly scene when Spencer brings her asthma inhaler even though she doesn’t need it.
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
Haven’t decided whose personality I’m copying this week. I’m lost.
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
Speed running disappointing everyone I care about
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
Just got stage fright trying to pee on the train
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
Checked in w/ the Almost Friday pod… Check it out…
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
You’re such a whore Sharon.
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
Going to use the bathroom real quick, if you don’t hear me screaming in agony after 5 min come check on me
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
Things are heating up over here
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
2 years
Mikey with the sixerrrr
@Friday_Beers
Friday Beers
2 years
Tony, glad you could make it brother 🤝
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
3 years
Bezos this, Zuckerberg that… Call me when you have two temperpedic mattresses stacked on top of each other money 🥱
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
2 years
Elliott Smith rules
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
1 year
Shut up big head. (I’m in Philadelphia!)
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
3 years
Everyone’s girl is loyal until the dude who can solve a Rubik’s Cube starts showing off
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
2 years
Malcom in the middle fucking rules
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
2 years
Hellen Keller’s PR team is all time… No chance those frauds convinced y’all she flew a plane
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
7 years
Strengths: Slanging this wood in my pants Weaknesses: Algebra
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
3 years
Wake up. Check my clash of clans. Back to bed.
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
2 years
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
3 years
Arctic Chill hard seltzer tastes like clean laundry and not in a good way
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
6 years
Down goes Walmart @UltrasYarmouth
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
7 years
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
2 years
@cumweiser No but it sounds like something I should be
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
3 years
Revine 4 revine?
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
6 years
Fuck chicken gimme that ass some henny and a few Benjamins
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
7 years
My name is Ms.Metts and my collar stay poppin'
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
6 years
I just ran a mile!! #November1st
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
5 years
Too much sky traffic... GET IT OUT! #birds
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
4 years
@biigwes_ The Boston Three Party
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
4 years
The more things change the more Steph’s house stays the same
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
6 years
@brendengoss5 @UltrasYarmouth Chodell hasn’t seen his meat since ‘04
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
3 years
Cinderella of the century #BestBarOHOP
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
2 years
@49erCarlos How do I apply
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
4 years
Have you guys seen this Facebook thing?
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
3 years
I don’t know how I feel about this whole phone thing. Seems like trouble. #whatthatmean ?
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
2 years
@cumweiser *be familiar with
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
2 years
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
6 years
@UltrasYarmouth @CapeSuperfan This didn’t age well
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
3 years
@PabstBlueRibbon @edsbs I’m open to making PBR the official beer of Rusty Featherstone
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@rustyfeathers
Rusty Featherstone
6 years
@KingJames Imma fuck yo wife #goofyass
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