Rory Bremner 💙🇺🇦
@rorybremner
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Stand-up chameleon.Translator. Patron @Tusk_org , @ADHDfoundation . Insta @rorybremner1 . Cameo requests on
Joined March 2010
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Pinned Tweet
SHOW KLAXON!! Doing a special Evening With.. at Perth Festival 26th May hosted by the great
@fredmacaulay
Come along!
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If there was a piss-up at No 10 last Christmas it’s very unlikely Boris organised it. Because, well, you know.
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Don’t panic, everyone. Nadine Dorries, Priti Patel, Jacob Rees Mogg and Dominic Raab staying. We’ve still got the A team in charge.
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Rate of Downing St parties now doubling every 2 days, ONS figures show.
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Also, respect to Huw Edwards. He’s just done about a 72 hour straight live shift for the change of PMs. And anchored the 10 O’clock all week. He must be utterly exhausted. Dimbleby-esque stamina & professionalism.
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As schools are shut, could the BBC pro-actively give up one of its channels to Education, following school syllabuses?To encourage & inspire, especially households with limited internet access? (It’s late and I haven’t thought this through btw)
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Tory candidates praising Britain for giving their refugee (grand)parents the chance to make a new life here would be more laudable/credible if they weren’t trying to send their modern equivalents to Rwanda. But them’s the breaks.
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Bluffer’s guide to NI Protocol. Those who voted Remain and lost (ie the majority) have adjusted to Brexit & are getting on with making it work, while those who voted Brexit and won ie the DUP) are furious and want to rip the whole thing up. Have I understood that correctly?
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If people complain that satire is left wing, it might just be because we’ve had a Conservative-led government for 11 years, and satire, like good journalism, holds the powerful to account.
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Imagine winning the Brexit vote, having a Conservative Govt, ousting your leader (May) and any opposing Tory ministers, winning an 80 seat majority & utterly blowing it, taking the UK’s reputation & credibility down with you. They should be run out of town for a decade.
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‘In hindsight, it was a mistake to appoint someone who abused his position & did not learn any lesson or change’ SAYS BORIS JOHNSON, apparently without irony.
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BREAKING: Boris Johnson to hit Russia ‘very hard’ by returning £2m Russian donations to Tory Party and going to fewer of their oligarch’s parties.
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Just think, if it weren’t for all these leftwing comedians and presenters on the BBC telling us what to think we’d have won the Brexit vote, be leaving Europe, and have a proper Conservative government. Instead of the mess we’re in now.
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Say what you like about the Vote Leave lot. They’ve all left.
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So, you sack a highly respected & experienced official, reject advice, dismiss warnings, refuse the OBR’s offer of help. Your cocksure ‘mini’ budget then causes a major crisis, placing the pensions industry in peril. Your actions add £hundreds more to people’s mortgages 1/2
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Nadhim Zahawi was sacked by Sunak for multiple breaches of the Ministerial Code. Suella Braverman also committed multiple breaches of the code. She was reappointed by Sunak (to a much more senior job) within a couple of days. Why?
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BREAKING: Education Secretary Gavin Williamson first to congratulate new British US Open Champion Mako Vunipola.
#USOpen
#USOpenFinal
#Raducanu
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Deeply saddened to hear that the great John Bird has left us. One of the most modest of men and most brilliant of satirists. And one of the last surviving pillars of the anti-establishment. 1/4
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‘The last thing this country needs is another General Election & all the uncertainty that brings’ says Simon Clarke, as we see the 4th Tory PM in 6 years after a 7 week leadership vacuum.
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Can’t help thinking that the skill set that got this lot (and Brexit) over the line (bluster, optimism, dissembling, hubristic nationalism) is not the one you want in this kind of crisis.
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Government currently borrowing £485m a DAY. And set to pay £484bn just in interest on debt in the next five years. Some of this lot should be in jail, let alone the jungle.
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Looks like getting rid of Boris might finally be a vote-winner. Now’s the time for Tory backbenchers to rage against the lying of the shite.
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We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Coronavirus. Fear and Coronavirus. And Brexit. Fear and Coronavirus and Brexit. And Climate Change. Fear and Coronavirus and Brexit and Climate Change. And surveillance capitalism. Fear and Coronavirus and….
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Johnson & Gove. Two over-promoted newspaper columnists finally facing the consequences of a half-baked opinion piece they can’t pretend they didn’t write.
#BrexitShambles
#BrexitDeal
#Brexitcast
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What do you say?
1. ‘I’m sorry’
2. ‘I resign’
3. ‘What a day’.
How is Kwasi Kwarteng still in his job? Why do we even put up with this appalling behaviour?
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Should we not thinking about re-opening a few DIY stores & garden centres under good social distancing conditions from this weekend? Giving people more chance to use lockdown productively/& good mental health of redecorating/fixing that shelf/gardening/window boxes?
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Taking 2 holidays, larking with policemen & pilots, and spending £130k of taxpayers money prepping his defence. A classy last month from our soon-to-be ex PM. Oh and some weird rambling about kettles.
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Queue at Post Office for International Driving Permit. £5.50. Renew Passport early. £122. So begins the hassle & petty inconveniences of becoming a 2nd division country, AKA ‘taking back control’ Fuck Boris.
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FFS. There are now at least SIX Tory Parties. ERG, NRG, Common Sense Group(!), New Conservatives, Conservative Growth Group, One Nation Group, & the People’s Front of Judea. And policy is being made up simply to keep them happy. Wouldn’t it be better to send THEM to Rwanda?
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Boris is sinking, clutching at straws. his rumbled & discredited cronies now desperately smearing Sue Gray, having described her as unimpeachable when it suited them, just as they hailed the NI protocol as brilliant before claiming it was unworkable & signed under duress.Busted.
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How is a wilful, deliberate, & repeated breach of the Ministerial Code a ‘mistake’ ? She knew exactly what she was doing. Who’s WRITING this Government’s material?
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Johnson was a disgrace yesterday. Lawyered to the hilt (at our expense), angry, clutching at straws (parties ‘essential’ to morale when funerals weren’t) agnostic on accepting the committee’s verdict (unless in his favour), his friends heckling it inside & dissing it outside.Yuk.
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Having crashed the country into a wall, Suella Braverman’s judgment is that they weren’t driving fast enough. You can’t BUY brilliance like that.
#bbcnews
#Kuenssberg
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And while we’re u-turning on disastrous policies, how about the Single Market?
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Brexit has been held hostage for 3 years by the clowns and charlatans of the ERG who wanted it but constantly voted against it because it wasn’t hard enough. Now they’ve been found out. What exactly have they been ‘researching' all this time??
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As a sign of respect it might have been an idea for Boris to brush his hair for once. But I suppose we should be grateful his trousers weren’t at half mast.
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Left wing comedians mock charlatans and lose commissions, right wing comedians mock experts and win referendums/elections. It’s very simple.
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Feels like we’ve been losing our minds in recent years. Now it feels like we may be about to lose our heart. That mighty, constant oak is ailing. God bless her.
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Sad beyond measure that Jeremy Hardy died this morning. Unfussy, unshowy, principled, self-deprecating, hugely loved & admired by his fellow comedians, and funnier than the lot of us put together. A unique comedian & a lovely man.
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There should be no place in Cabinet for such a divisive, opinionated, overpromoted bigot. She belongs on GB News. Suella Braverman: Rough sleepers living in tents 'a lifestyle choice'
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Looks like the main Brexit Opportunity was for the ERG/IEA and their protegés to take control. The drunk teenagers now have the car keys.
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Vote Liz, get Rees Mogg, Dorries, Patel, Braverman. Vote Liz! The change candidate! Now with added Steve Baker.
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Johnson currently trying to decide which family to spend more time with.
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I want to see this entire lot out of office and in the jungle by Christmas.
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@H_W_Calderwood
I’d take Starmer Reeves & Cooper over Truss Hunt & Braverman any day. So would a lot of Tories tbh
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F*ck Channel 4’s debate. Boris speaks to you direct.
#Boris
#borisjohnson
#bbcpolitics
#c4debate
Thanks
@MantisProMedia
@channel4
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OUT OF OFFICE MESSAGE: The government is currently away from its desk on annual leave.
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‘People say I’m self-deprecating, but I don’t think I’m very good at it’ Jeremy Hardy. ❤️
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Problem for Rishi Sunak is that Lee Anderthal wasn’t made Deputy Chairman in the first place despite his views but BECAUSE of them, to tip the wink to other angry bigots that ‘we’re thinking what you’re thinking’.
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On behalf of the nation’s impressionists, delighted to see David Cameron back. Now we just need Michael Howard, John Major & Frank Spencer and we’re cooking on gas.
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Wow.
@carolvorders
on fire re Zahawi, Johnson, Sunak, the whole lot of them. See her thread. Go Carol! 👏👏👏
My brief and heartfelt explanation of Sunak wife's non-dom tax exclusion (£20m not paid?) and Zahawi position as of early this morning.
Zahawi Resignation this weekend?
@DanNeidle
@guardian
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He should pay for the report (which could have been avoided if he’d done the decent thing) Another one dragged out rather than admitting impropriety. What is WRONG with these people? Are they on another planet?
BBC chairman Richard Sharp resigns, after report finds he breached appointment rules by not fully disclosing role in loan given to former UK PM Boris Johnson
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Govt:'Move on from talking about Nadhim Zahawi'. Us: 'Ok. Let's talk about the economy, IMF forecast, Brexit, strikes, nurses, teachers, nature depletion, the Army....'. Govt: 'About Nadhim Zahawi...'
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Wow. These are the people we clapped on the doorstep during the pandemic. It's a disgrace.
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Boy, is it ever time a principled backbencher stood up and said enough is enough, we can’t carry this shambolic, shameless arse of a PM any more, he should fuck off & spend more time with his family/families. On QT now he’s getting more derision than Michael Portillo’s jacket.
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Boris responds.
#boris
#Toryleadershipcontest
#conservativehome
@BBCPolitics
@ITVPolitics
@itvpeston
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Hancock is toast. Cummings now just adding butter and jam.
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Why do
@BBCNews
keep referring to ‘leading Brexiteers’? None of them leads. They faff about, resign, and make a lot of noise while offering no plan of their own.
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Got a call from BBC Radio yesterday asking if I’d heard the news and how would I remember her. I said she was strong, principled, feisty, a female icon & looked amazing in the fur bikini in One Million Years BC. Pause. ‘So nothing about Scottish Independence then?’
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John Major trending on Twitter. Here's why. He was food & drink for us as comedians. Now he's food for thought. 👏👏👏
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👏👏👏 Quick, sharp and bang on the money. 🥇
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So sad that lovely - and much loved- Tim Brooke-Taylor has died. Always a Goodie, his modesty belied a huge legacy in British comedy- in show after show from Cambridge days on, from I’m Sorry I’ll Read That Again to Clue. 1/3
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We have a PM who is a serial and unashamed liar, cheat, bully and ruthless self-promoter. Together with a cabal of ideologues, suspending Parliament to pursue a no-deal withdrawal from our biggest trading partners. What’s not to not like?
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“Change Politics For Good” says the man who took £450,000 from a businessman to support his lifestyle and whose voting record in the European Parliament puts him 745th out of 751. Please don’t fall for this cant.
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Jan 2021, winter transfer window,: Amy Knight, staff nurse, Guys to Barts, £2.8 million. Martin Anderson, senior registrar, Manchester General to Stoke Royal £5.2 m, Kay Williams, nursing assistant, Mid Staffs to Northwick Park, £15 m. Sergio Aguero, Man City to Chelsea, £4.50.
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Is anyone surprised that having elected a dishevelled, shambolic, responsibility-averse PM, that’s the kind of government we’ve got? It’s not as if the clues weren’t there. (also applies to alternative candidate, tbf)
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Did Theresa M just say 'Jeremy Corbyn fails basic criteria to be PM, which is to keep the country safe from attack'? After the last month?
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Tell you what, whatever your politics, Gordon Brown is mighty wise in a crisis. He absolutely gets it, as he did in 2008. There’s a role for him.
@BBCRadio4
@BBCr4today
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To choose Truss may be regarded as poor judgement; to choose Johnson looks like shamelessness.
#ToryLeadershipContest
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3 of biggest news stories this weekend. 4 children survive for 40 days in the Colombian jungle, kept alive by 13 year old elder sister. And two narcissistic charlatans whinging when they’re busted.
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Heavens. With the passing of
#barryhumphries
we lose an all-time great. Lightning quick, subversive, mischievous, widely read,deeply knowledgeable about art, music & literature- & savagely funny. Dame Edna arguably the greatest comic persona ever. Les Patterson too. True genius.
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Full video of exchange between Joan Salter & Suella Braverman. Full disclosure: I support Freedom from Torture.
The Home Office is seeking the removal of our video of Joan's exchange with Suella Braverman.
But we are standing our ground.
The full video is here:
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Give Liz Truss some credit. She put all the wingnut policies in one vehicle and drove them over a cliff, destroyed the ERG/IEA’s credibility & took Kwasi Kwarteng & Suella Braverman down with her. Not bad for just 44 days. She deserves a medal.
#LizTruss
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Friday’s Boris UPDATE. Stay safe & look after each other x
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Heavens. Can’t believe Mike Yarwood’s died. I was recording an interview for a C5 tribute to him 4 hours ago.
@jonculshaw
& Alistair McG did pieces too. He was the Gov’nor. Inspired us, propelled impressionists up the bill & was the court jester of the ‘golden age’ of TV…
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Time’s up for May, Corbyn & Brexit. Let’s put this dire, divisive chapter behind us & start a national revival free of stubbornness & ideology, with the disaffected & left-behind right at the very heart of our efforts. *stops sermon, announces next hymn*. Let’s do this.
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Lenin said ‘there are decades where nothing happens for weeks, then there are weeks where decades happen’. (Or it may have been Richard Madeley). Either way, it feels like one of those weeks.
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I just signed the petition calling on Culture Secretary
@OliverDowden
to scrap his damaging plans to sell off Channel 4 to a private buyer! Can you add your name too?
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Get ready for the Addams family cabinet tomorrow. IDS & co. The failed yesterdays men who got us into this mess and then blocked Brexit because it wasn’t hard enough. . 🙈🙈
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If you do one thing today, watch one of his interview sketches with John Fortune and ask yourself if it’s ever been more beautifully done. RIP George Parr. 💔2/4
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By nature, it tends to be anti-establishment. The greatest current example of satire is that a Conservative administration stuffed with establishment figures seeks to convince the public that it is anti-elitist and champions what Farage calls “the little people”. Cui bono?
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Barely words for Andy Murray. That was INCREDIBLE. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏❤️ Physically, mentally, incredible. So brave, so determined. “I have a big heart” he said. he can say that again. Brilliant.
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Looks like Boris is doing a better Trump impression than I do. Blaming everyone else for his own self-destructive buffoonery.
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Just paid an elderly London cabbie after a trip across town.
Cabbie: ‘Thank You, young man!’
Me (laughing) ‘Young Man? I’m 61!How old are you?’
Cabbie ‘I’m 91’.
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On the subject (and indeed as a subject), the King’s first address was a belter. Heartfelt and moving, his greatest tribute a pledge to follow Her example.
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This is an awful shock. Any performer who appeared on The Big Show on R2 will testify to the energy, professionalism & preparation that Steve (& Tim & the team) put into that unique show, the interviews & making us welcome. Such a smart, creative, natural broadcaster.
We’re incredibly saddened to announce that our friend and colleague Steve Wright MBE has passed away.
We’ll miss you greatly Steve. 🧡
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I used to watch from the wings and marvel at how the two friends made it look so effortless, so blissfully funny, their skill and enjoyment in the moment making light of the seriously detailed research that went into each piece.
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RIP June Whitfield- go-to comedy actress for 3 generations, from 60s radio to 70s, 80s, even 90s TV. Always graceful & elegant with a real comic glint in her eye & (absolutely) fabulous timing.
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I queued as a schoolboy in Edinburgh to get my Goodies Album signed, and can’t believe 40 odd years later we were doing Clue together in January. Big theatres, huge laughs, such joy & affection for Tim. He was an absolute delight. ❤️
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