Hello. Let’s talk panic attacks. I am noticing that numerous people are experiencing heightened mental distress, so I am going to try and provide some helpful ways in which you can help a friend who’s having a panic attack.
Rupi Kaur boycotting the White House Diwali and encouraging others to do the same is 🙌🙌. It's a fantastic litmus test to see how many 'brown' influencers who cannot stop talking about their 'brownness' will actually walk the talk. The world is watching, the world is judging.
3.20am. I’m taking an auto from Khar West. The driver scans me like he’s checking me out. My friend urges me to send my live location to her. I take the auto and he continues to stare at me from the rear view mirror. You know that stare, the creepy one.
fuck trigonometry and isosceles triangles, please teach your children about managing money, saving and spending. So many of us have a relationship with money that’s informed by financial anxiety, guilt, confusion and shame. Normalise conversations around money for young kids pls.
I hate that we have to feel like this. Hyper alert, expecting to be raped and killed, diminishing our freedom, triggered and hyper vigilant. This is the most terrified I have been in a long long time. I was convinced that this was it. This is a pathetic world to live in.
The Indian arranged marriage system is nothing but a casteist force based in endogamy + superiority. This is not a cute custom. It is oppressive practice that’s handed to generations. As an Indian, I’m begging you to stop giving a platform to such dumpster fires.
Matchmaker
#SimaTaparia
guides clients in the U.S. and India in the arranged marriage process, offering an inside look at the custom in a modern era.
Netflix original reality series
#IndianMatchmaking
, Premieres July 16th on
@NetflixIndia
.
If you know someone with covid right now, please engage with them. Send a meme, get on video call, play a game of Ludo, anything. I’ve seen way too many emotional breakdowns in isolation this week and we need to take more initiative in the forms of care we can provide.
Listen NDTV put ‘India tops global deaths’ next to the frame of Modiji’s face as he was bragging about everything India has done wonderfully and this juxtaposition is just 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽
Only a man can say ‘get free’ after marriage & kids, because the whole system is structured on the backbone of women’s labour & sacrifice. Our mothers & grandmothers are examples. Remember that joke ‘my dad would never know which grade I’m studying in’ that we’ve all cracked?!
Here to remind anyone between the ages of 20-25 that it's not compulsory to have all the answers/have your life figured out. Any/all existential distress you feel right now is age appropriate + trusting your resilience can be challenging. It's a tough feeling but entirely normal.
A few days ago, my dad looked at me and said ‘I cannot imagine what it must be like to be a 27 year old during a pandemic and watch it devastate the economy. The anxieties all of you have to face is heartbreaking’. It’s the most validating thing I’ve heard in the last 6 months
Instagram is really weird right now. Most of my friends in other countries are enjoying summer with their masks or posting vaccination updates, friends over here are sharing updates about ventilators and hospitals or grieving losses, others are at weddings or in bars.
Every broker asks me if I’m married because married people live boring lives and so they deserve a house. From tomorrow, I will be masquerading as a married woman looking for a house in Bangalore. My husband will be a ghost. He will ensure there are no parties or male friends.
I made it home and I cried. I was convinced that I wouldn’t. This city has been my home since I was born and I have felt safer over here than I have felt in many other places because the bar is already so low. Our bodies are treated ruthlessly everywhere.
Gaslighting is common in family but it is very acceptable in South Asian families. It's normalised to a dangerous degree and it is usually a form of manipulation that is dressed as concern.
I call a friend and talk to him in the hope that that helps the situation. Then I remember that a minister claimed that I should call 100 instead of calling a friend when I’m scared, so I keep the number dialled and ready to call. I warn my friend about the circumstances.
Here to remind you that if you’ve gained/lost weight, been falling sick more, not feeling up to doing much, feeling fatigued, etc, it’s absolutely normal because your body has worked tirelessly to help you survive the garbage fire that 2020 was and is still thriving.
3rd wave is fully picking up, levels of anxiety have started to soar again. More people reaching out for help, more people are falling ill and most people are massively triggered from 2nd wave trauma. Please rely on your support system. Please be as ‘clingy’ as possible.
My mother lost a friend to COVID this morning, my friend has been scrambling to find a ventilator for her aunt, we know numerous other people suffering within close circles right now. This feels like the government is saying a giant fuck you to all of us. Never forget this.
A day ahead of the Shahi Snan - considered to be an auspicious day to take holy dip in the Ganges - more than one lakh devotees were seen on the banks of the river, in clear violation of the COVID-19 rules
#COVID19
I am a trained trauma therapist and I can provide therapy online or over the phone, if we can work out time zones. DMs are open and I am here for you. Please reach out if you need support.
Hello, I am a mental health clinician accepting clients for online sessions all over India, at the moment. If you'd like to refer someone or make an appointment or if you have any questions, please reach out.
I see plenty of traffic cops on the highway with their breathalysers. He continues to stare from the rear view mirror and I remain hypervigilant, scanning exit I need to jump out of if he makes one wrong turn and sways from the directions I’ve given him.
The auto approaches Dharavi and he slows down near a turn. My heart rate has escalated. I’m now surrounded by 5 men, centimetres from the auto and I’m petrified for my life. Multiple scenarios play in my head - how they’re going to abduct me, gang rape me and then burn my body.
The auto picks up speed again but I see him scan his surroundings. I wonder if he’s looking for a secluded spot where he can turn to and how the same men I saw at the Dharavi turn would make an appearance to do the deed. I’m scared for my life beyond imagination.
I continue saying ‘I’m really really scared’, I don’t count the exact change he returned and I almost start running on the street. I see men everywhere, huddled in groups, scanning my body, talking to each other. I cannot hush the thought that they’re all going to rape me.
Sion approaches and he stops the auto. He claims that something isn’t working and I need to take another auto. 3 men huddle around my auto. A friend calls and I’m almost in tears, repeating ‘I’m really really scared. They’re going to do something.’ She has my location.
Nothing frightens the older generation like an independent, young woman they can’t control. From ‘your parents are getting old so you should get married’ to ‘Live in a PG because it’s safer. Why do you want to live in an apartment alone?’ to 'we are saying this for your own good'
I’m hyper aware for the entirety of the ride, I’m almost in tears out of fear, I keep looking behind to see if I’m being followed, I’m calculating the distance to the nearest police station while my friend throws suggestions on the other end of the call.
I curse myself for not having exact change. What if they choose that moment and two men jump from a either side, throw my phone outside to them take me to a corner, gang rape me and then burn me alive? Who will know where I disappeared? Why have I brought this upon myself?
100 is ready to be called, a friend is on high alert with my location, I choose directions to run in if necessary while also making peace with my imagined outcome - gang rape + death; till I find another auto who agrees to take me home.
My late 20’s are turning into an era where I’m excited about coffee, raw vegetables, drinking 4 litres of water, completing 7000 steps a day and eating more protein. At 22, I thought I would eat hash browns every morning till the day I died. RIP to that reckless but hopeful child
I was on
@ndtv
this morning talking about the stigmatisation and suicide and the intersection of it all with social support systems. One of my mom’s friends watched it and told my mom ‘your daughter is beautiful but she should change her lipstick shade’. Gah
[THREAD] This whole 'they don't know what they are talking about','this is an internal matter','this is our problem' garbage is deeply cultural and runs deep in familiar ways. It's the 'Ghar ki baat,ghar pe rakho' (don't tell anyone what happens at home) nonsense that is peddled.
It's wild for me to admit that I've been seeing over 40 people per week for individual clinical sessions,for the past year.I'm at 42 now,the enquires are rising again.The highest I went to was 55.The mental health crisis of the pandemic is v real, affordable care is inaccessible.
Recognising gas lighting. Gas lighting is a very common form of psychological manipulation and abuse. It can go unnoticed or get dismissed under the umbrella of abuse because of how subtle it is. It’s also gradual in nature and easily normalised.
This is the same man, who stood in front of the country 2 months ago and asked us to sponsor families to help one another through the COVID19 crisis because the economy was crashing. What a sick joke to lay the foundation of this Ram Mandir on August 5th. Shameless.
One of the more messed up things I’ve recently recognised about south Asian parenting is how it robs the children of the agency of experiencing and expressing emotion that’s devoid of guilt.
I've a serious question. How are y'all handling the triggers and stress that comes from the right wing nationalism and Modi worshipping in your own homes? I've a brother who's sending me 'Modi is great, Jai Shree ram' memes like a twitter troll, just to get under my skin.
One hilarious effect of us getting COVID is that it’s made one of my very shy, very anxious flatmates, very sassy. Our blood tests have been delayed all week and the guy canceled this morning and said ‘instrument nahi hai’. My flatmate says ‘Sui? Sui nahi hai aapke paas?’😂😂😂
Can motivational speakers PLEASE stop co-opting conversations about mental health & stop talking about how a ‘positive mentality’ is the solution to everything?You don’t talk science,you don’t have a public health background,you’re only an expert to your experience so pls shut up
Talk to them about class, privilege, earning, saving, spending from a collaborative lens. Please answer questions, ask for their opinions. When is cancel culture going to cancel the ‘you are too young, this is none of your business’ discourse in South Asian families?
10% of my clinical caseload has covid right now, another 20% has a loved one with covid right now. The anxiety, the fear, the loneliness, the helpless is peaking. This is so deeply traumatic. I’m begging you to stop going to Goa, stop having weddings + attending gatherings.PLEASE
If I see one more video or post about how men cooking and cleaning = smashing the patriarchy, I will run into a wall. Please stop putting men on a pedestal for doing their bare minimum as functioning human beings. Stop gendering survival skills first.
Sending memes and reels to each other is a very underrated love language in relationships. Platonic, romantic, flirting, building a new friendship - it's one of the easiest and funnest ways to build intimacy.
Squeezed a tube of sunscreen,nothing would come out. Cut open the tube,saw that there was too much left, cleaned a fresh dabba & was transferring the remnants. My dad looks at this & says 'Arey wah, proud of you!'. THIS?! This earned me the lifelong validation I've yearned for?!
28 years old today and definitely more secure, reassured and at peace. If 21-23 year old me knew that it would get this much better, maybe that kid would’ve been a lot kinder to herself. Extremely proud of that kid for persevering nonetheless. Happy birthday to me! 🌸
I will keep adding more in this thread. Attaching some helpful tools to manage active trauma triggers, panic attacks and symptoms of heightened anxiety and even thoughts of self harm.
#MeTooIndia
#MentalHealthIndia
Humans who menstruate, I can not recommend a regular CBC blood test enough to check your iron levels and haemoglobin. It’s necessary to keep the two in check and they highly impact how our cycles affect us every month - the brain fog, exhaustion, demotivation, all of it.
Depression is not a personality trait that someone ‘cannot have’. It’s an illness with its of symptoms, challenges and manifestations. If you are not a clinician, you cannot provide a certificate for someone’s health whether it’s hypertension or depression or anything.
Predators have moved on with their lives, including mine (after they scrubbed the internet clean off what I had outed them with) but Priya Ramani has fought a long, exhausting battle. Today's verdict better be in her favour or it could silence victims and survivors forever.
Think about what would happen if rega jha was actively reflecting, reforming behaviours and actions, introspecting on her capitalist feminism instead of obsessing over 'cancel culture' every time she is called out because it's the perfect cop out, devoid of responsibility.
Tamil Brahmins sitting on a high horse about how CaSTe DoEsnT ExiST in India while actively celebrating and funding poonal ceremonies and traditions, doing yearly Avani Avittams and having committed relationships with vadhyars for generations. Have some shame.
Phishing scams are terrifying, data robbery is real but there is an element of agency with access to research when it comes to vulnerability with scams. Not the same with sexual violence.Correlating victim blaming for sexual violence + phishing scam in the same sentence is silly.
My humble request to you is to not take anything seriously from anyone who calls themself a ‘mental health influencer’. Thank you for coming to my ted talk
If you know teenagers within your family/other circles, I encourage you to talk to them. Talk to them about their stressors, struggles, relationships, sex, school, college, build a relationship with them. Try. Reassure them that they have a safe space for honest communication.
Is there a fundraiser for local cremation workers in Delhi? Not Milaap, Ketto kind, the kind where we make a list of cemeteries in the community and then fundraise to distribute directly to the community. I’m happy to help organise one if there isn’t.
'If you don't get to slap, touch, do whatever you want with a woman/with someone you're with, I don't think it's love.'
Uncle, that's domestic violence, not love. Love is never unconditional because the conditionality allows for consent, boundaries, accountability, equality.
One of my goals is to establish a suicide prevention and rape crisis helpline in India with round the clock services from crisis trained professionals. Someone will always answer the call, the services will be free, they’ll give you more resources at the end.Sigh. One day, I hope
Doing therapy in Tamil has helped me learn that 'paaliyal uravu' is sex and now I can't wait to ask my friends how they're paaliyal uravu lives are going in the hope that they're using appropriate padhigaapu
Saying a prayer for Rhea Chakraborty today. Nobody should have to go through this. I hope she has the support she needs. The media in this country is vile dumpster trash.
Please remember that it is important for your mental health clinician/psychiatrist to have the conversation about confidentiality with you. It’s called informed consent.
Parents of teenagers, if your child is having psychological health concerns and you tell them that they’re being weak and that life is tough so they need to get it together, I promise you’re doing way more harm than good. Harm will worsen how they feel & you can DEFINITELY avoid.
My 9 year old nephew telling me that he and his 3 year old sister set aside a day of every month to just fight and resolve all the issues they’ve had all month is the kind of conflict resolution skills we need.
Hello! Thought I’d do a small breakdown on the psychosomatic aspects of mental illness, especially symptoms of depression and anxiety. A less popularised fact is that depression and anxiety can be diagnoses but can also be symptoms of other physiological & psychological illnesses
Seasonal reminder of how I’m an only child to ageing parents so I need to be considerate towards them,get married asap & complete my ‘life’s milestones’ on time coz my success as a human being will always be measured by my reproductive organs + a husband, has been received 🙃🙃🙃
You’re not a man who has done an ounce of reflection or knows accountability.This action means nothing when a mob that you were conscious of has unleashed slut shaming on her for consensual sexting.Your quest for justice is about vengeance,slutshaming & continuing to be a creep.
Also please understand that what I'm doing is unprecedented. There is no primer, or rule book to guide me through this minefield. I'm bound to make some mistakes in my tone. But I'll be constantly rectifying them as I go along. My objective is to heal myself. Not to hurt others.
I have once again been reminded of my distaste for ‘motivation influencers’ so I’m here to beg you to not take mental health ‘advice’ from them. They’re profiting off of your vulnerabilities & you deserve better care instead of someone screaming at you to ‘BE STRONG AND POSITIVE’
When u put the onus of ‘mental fitness’ on the individual,u snatch responsibility from the oppressive hierarchies that contribute to their mental health stressors,make them vulnerable to violence + reduce their access to resources.Stop listening to influencers acting like experts
The question shouldn’t be’why did Sushant Singh die by suicide’,the qt. should be why suicide isn’t considered a crisis health concern,why there’s no funding for an ongoing mental health epidemic,why aren’t there resources,what’s the role of media in being an educational resource
[THREAD] TW: Assault/Sexual Harassment.
On 4th June, I got assaulted on the road, 200 meters from my building. I was walking home after eating ice cream with a friend, when someone on a bike hit me so hard that I stood frozen in excruciating pain, after it happened.
An 8 year old's dad asked him to call me auntie yesterday and I looked at the kid with my 'I dare you to, kid. I dare you' eyes and he went ahead and called me auntie anyway
Don’t - Don’t ask them to calm down. Please don’t. If it was that easy, they would have done it already. Don’t tell them that they are overreacting. It is extremely invalidating and insulting. It is definitely not helpful.
I’ve been very regular with physical activity for this year and I’ve only gained weight. I want to celebrate this. My body is stronger, my stress is better managed, I’ve incredible stamina and I feel fantastic. I’ve gained 5kgs in the 6 months of working out 5-6 days a week.
Do - Encourage a breathing pattern with them. Breathe in till the count of 3, hold for 2, breathe out till the count of 8 usually works very well when done consistently. Do it with them. Reassure them that they will be okay.
In a country like India where mental health resources are scarce + inaccessible,it’s irresponsible for an influencer to act like an expert.The vague messaging, the lack of transparency,the expensive charges are all misleading.Please stop trusting influencers who act like experts.
Do - Validate. If they say that they’re struggling, agree and tell them that it sucks but that you’re right there. Agree with them when they say that their distress feels scary and real.
I’ve been accepted as a PhD candidate at the Uni of Portsmouth but my scholarship application was rejected. My project aims to create evidence based interventions for chronic pain in SA survivors.Pls point me to all the scholarships,fellowships,grants to apply to
@AcademicChatter
Do - Tell them that this is a consequence of a trigger and that it will pass, that it’s a panic attack that is a consequence of extreme distress. Give them language to what is happening. Tell them that this is temporary and assure them that you will stay will them till it is over