NurseBrianRN
@rn_murse
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Singer-Songscreamer I Gay Homosexual I Pubic Figure | Fourth Thing
Brooklyn, NY
Joined May 2020
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Pinned Tweet
kiss me under the purely decorative popeye’s balcony, so i know it’s real
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coach: show no mercy! show them that we’re killers! KILLERS!!!
me (as pictured bottom center):
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babe, what’s wrong?
you’ve barely tried to kiss me under the mistletoasters.
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the moment i found out i’m actually an 86 year old woman:
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watching a lot of documentaries about cults. mostly to find the one that’s right for me.
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happy to report this will be a dad joke account in 2024:
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my patient wanted to take a “selfie” w/ me today.
i only spent a shift w/ her, but she said, “i knew from the moment you walked in, you were different. you spoke to me with your heart. you made my day.”
and she made mine.
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Someone is about to fuck Jesus’s shit up today in the parking lot.
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need someone to feed me Doritos while i read, so i don’t mess up the pages. no weirdos.
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stayed up until 4am watching a documentary on the horrors of sleep deprivation.
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if the baby jesus sees his shadow, it’s six more weeks of Happy Hondadays
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marrying my boyfriend of 11 years today. no joke. just love. ❤️
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I only select the freshest, most organic produce.
To slowly rot in my veggie drawer each week.
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totally not a portal to an underworld ruled by sleep paralysis demons
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In the suburban ecosystem, the landscape is represented by two separate, yet equally important groups: Lazy ass homeowners and the people who mow their lawns. These are their stories.
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“i was raised catholic” is how i start my trauma narrative
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i can be good at a job or i can pass a drug test. i cannot do both.
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suddenly, a hole was ripped into the time-space continuum at my local Panera
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Still thinking about the time I came out to my dad whose response was, “don’t worry, son; everyone’s experimented in college...everyone.”
WHO THE FUCK IS COMING OUT TO WHOM HERE, DAD!? WHO!?
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I hope they pick Morgan Freeman to narrate the end of the world.
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totally not a portal to an underworld ruled by sleep paralysis demons
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