trebek: to comfort one another as time slowly murders our bodies contestant: what is the point

the calls are coming from inside the jerk store

are you there god? it's me, the jerk store

trebek: this mysterious business can never seem to keep you in stock contestant: what is the jerk store

what do we want? to be free of desire when do we want it? *confused murmuring*

honk if every time there is a day & every day there is a time

pulling a lazy boy back forever but only the feeling

you: [anxious] hi them: [confident, everything in its right place, well parented, balanced worldview, genetically tip top, groomed, nutrient dense, hydrated, civic minded, spiritually connected to a community that fosters security & a general sense of purpose] hey

what do we want? mutual coital timing when do we want it? wait not yet

a smart car that lacks faith

a car so smart it’s sad

them: what’ll it be you: sad

life hack: do what you would imagine a smarter version of yourself doing

the best american short stories 2025 but each story is a spice toothpaste that tastes like saying “the big boys” as an adult incense that smells like thinking you know someone but really don’t the color of meeting someone’s eye by accident a blue razz crush

the boys: *search endlessly* town: *illusory concept that is impossible to come back to*

.@OscarHealth do you cover this? 😺

a drug that makes you put your phone down

how an actual ghost feels on halloween

vape flavor: inside of an old halloween mask found under a milk crate at an estate sale

[pounding podium] the real halloween is within

halloween costume: who others want you to be