I hereby refuse to recognize the authority of the office of the Commissioner of Majorleague base ball and henceforth will opera t e without the express written consent of Majorleague base ball

attempting to kickstart the hot stove by repeatedly smashign my dick with the oven door

if your really against the suffering of innocent people, you wouldn't of let Luke Weaver start 21 games

ejecting Joey Votto from the game is a federal offense in Canadia punish able by being forced to ingest a gallon of maple syrup, the maximum sentence allowd by law

personally i do NOT like it that the original charter of the cincinnati reds states that the owner must be "of limited intelligenfe and poccefing the sparke of madness"

oh forgive me for forgetting that youre too good to visit my squalid LA apartment to watch all 6 seasons of the Reds from 2013-2018 as a joke

i am selling six beautfiul, extremely ill, Reds pitchers. they no longer recognize me as their father, and are the Burden of my life

just wake up from a coma to the 50-46 Reds, bet Willl Myers and Mike Moustakas are haveing big years!

issuing correction on a previous post of mine, regarding the terror group Cardinals

i tried to throw a molotov cocktail at a cardinal but he was too high up

.@Yadimolina04 Im going to throw all of your baseballs and baseball bats into the garbage

pretty disappointed that no one supported my Ballot issue to require Cardinals fans to be spade and neutered

i do not give a shit of the official WHOTUS stance, i refuse to hear it, i will never forgive the cardinal, i will not bow to that filthy bird

i have not forgotten the crimes of "Fred Bird"

i was one of the villains in base ball. mmy name was "Cardinuls Player " and my catchphrase was "i cant fight them! theyre too strong"

every time the reds strikeout 11 batters i have been cursed to order a large 10 topping pizza and eat it in one sitting. i am $38,611 dollars in credit card debt and i have gained 374 pounds. please send help

nick krall has Gone Woke and the reds have gone broke

i am selling six beautfiul, extremely ill, Reds pitchers. they no longer recognize me as their father, and are the Burden of my life

dear Marty, do you agree that Thom, Trevor Bauer, and Donald Trump are the most persecuted Men in america

ME: Hey. Its me. Want to collab? FREE AGENT: Yes. I will collab with you. What are you good at? ME: Fuck. I dont know. I fucked it

the crack of the bat. the scent of a verdant field. The excitement of the crowd. These are the things that piss tHom off the most