My neighbor took a Sawzall to his pumpkins right out in broad daylight.

So... what'd everyone have for lunch?

I just about choked to death on air if you're wondering how my week is going.

This is a perfect example of "throwing good money after bad" and typical of how they spend money in Minnesota, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I kinda like the idea of a "robot mobile disco."

I need some help with dog math. Here's the situation - I've got some string cheese. One dog is outside looking for the possum from a couple of nights ago. The other dog is on the couch. The dog on the couch hears the cheese and comes into the kitchen. I give her a couple

The problem is when right wing men start to talk in a way that doesn't scare liberal women, the right wing women get the ick with the right wing men.

https://t.co/CxRmmqXeuy This is the last time he's going to ask for your money. Come January he's just going to take it. "Elections have consequences." - Barack Obama "The Dildo of Consequence rarely comes lubed." - Anonymous.

Apparently you all want to see the video I made of the Tuna Bread so here it is. I didn't post it before because I'd had those spots frozen off my face and I didn't want you all to think I had some weird disease like leprosy or smallpox. I was actually kind to the tuna bread in

I was on @Area224 podcast yesterday and it took some unexpected turns. Lots of fun, thank you for having me on your show and letting me plug the book!!

Thank you for your support in these difficult times.

Teen Vogue fired me yesterday💔. My beat was Tuna Bread sensuality, the morality of lying about your gender to potential partners, and why a healthy society introduces fisting to middle schoolers. REAL journalism is under attack. Cash app link in my bio or buy my latest book.

Anyone counting how many times Newsom says "Donald Trump" in his speech? It's been ten times just as I typed this tweet.

Just a gentle reminder NYC - eventually you run out of other people's money.

Whew. And yet, it still sucks.

Results are coming in for MN - we might be the only state to reject the socialist. Might. And what we're left with is still horrible.

Based on election results democrats have no morals, integrity or sense of history. I'm not sure what it says about republicans except there aren't enough of them.

Can you still recite the mercy speech from the Merchant of Venice?

Perky boobs.

I hope everyone got out there and voted in their local elections.

If you're going to make nostalgic AI you need to at least include an anvil and a rocket. A trebuchet would be a nice touch - just sayin'.