i talk about lushious massacr the way that hardcore evangelicals talk about christ. going up to people at the pioneer supermarket and asking them if their heart has been saved by dragvestigations

can't wait to have a newborn so i can play it boombayah by blackpink

Most sweet sensitive souls use their own intellect against themselves, like the thorns of a rose growing inward.

LIFE MAY BE HARD BUT AT LEAST I DONT EVER HAVE TO COME HOME TO A MAN

how it feels like being a perverted lesbian

the girlfriend experience is not real because if he wasn’t paying me $20 a minute I would be looking at my phone for this whole movie

hate when people call it “selling your body,” because first of all we don’t subscribe to the bifurcation of body and mind. and don’t get me started on the fact that all labor is selling your body!

the secret to a happy marriage is to marry someone who is super super fun to go to the zoo with

my biggest flex on earth is that I was never a harry potter kid. despite it being basically ubiquitous, I remember being like, nine, and sensing its tastelessness and explicitly choosing not to engage

We all know how laughably minimal the market for male erotic/emotional companionship is. Yet sperm donation is a huge huge market. Men really are good for one thing only, and that thing is contributing genetic material towards the creation of more women

it’s okay to be a regular quirked up girl with a nice corporate job. You do not need to claim you’re a sw or emulate sex worker culture for cool quirky points, just post about French butter and keep it moving

just watched bestie climb over a foot of snow in So Kate Louboutins like it’s nothing. If you’re wondering if you’re doing enough to serve cunt then you probably aren’t

like this tweet if you think my wife should give me a pet baby highland cow for Valentine’s Day

preparing for a whore photoshoot felt objectively more stressful than planning my entire wedding. The “glam,” outfits, and personal upkeep were certainly more expensive. A bad wedding is a bad wedding, but a bad photoshoot will ruin the next two years of my life in an acute way

I know my outfit for hoochie night is cute because my wife started following me around the house with sad eyes and made me promise not to talk to any butches

all my hoe friends are so gagged when I tell them how much sperm for our IVF costs. It’s like explaining to a garbageman that trash costs $20,000

Only thing that has ever really stood in my way is my own limited perception of myself

need to organize a clothing swap asap because I own one thousand work outfits and somehow I can no longer wear any of them

planning a photoshoot is hell. I’m over here trying to figure out if I can schedule and recover from a boob job by thursday

if no other blonde woman could do a photoshoot in the lace lorna set from agent provocateur for the rest of the year that would be really ideal for me. thanks for understanding!