sugarplum failure
@probablyalissa
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bill nye is short for william new year’s eve.
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This is how he’d look if he was black or Siamese
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Leave her teeth the fuck alone we are experiencing a veneer epidemic and she is perfect as she IS.
Aimee Lou Wood calls out SNL for jokes made about her teeth:. “I did find it mean and unfunny… such a shame cuz I had such a great time watching it a couple weeks ago. Yes, take the piss for sure — that’s what the show is about- but there must be a cleverer, less cheap way?”
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My peers are too politically correct to compliment me on my weight loss but luckily I’m visiting home soon so all my relatives can tell me exactly how much better I look now.
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A man having no female friends is an enormous red flag.
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After six miserable months, I am gainfully employed again
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reminder that adding an x doesn’t make it more woke!! it is FINE to just say “women” or “folks” or “karl marks”.
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If someone did this to me I would disappear out of their life in such a manner that they’d become unsure I was ever actually real.
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I’m at the beach that makes you old drinking the lemonade that kills you
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“kill them with kindness” wrong. crow attack.🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛.
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She looks like those photoshopped pics of Kyle Rittenhouse
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He gives more with this look than some actors do in their entire career
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It’s something unpredictable .But in the end it’s right
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people ask me “are your boobs natural?” like no they’re actually supernatural. very haunted. they’re big because of all the ghosts.
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Should I try hinge again or should I just kill myself.
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My take on age gap relationships is that I want to be in one. Soooo chic.
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He also offered her a high five down low but then pulled his hand away, accusing her of being “too slow.” Pure evil.
While the American news media is running stories about this lady’s imagination let’s see what she has to say about the children of Gaza
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it's not that i think "we need the equivalent of rap beef in movies or games", i just think more art needs to be made by real haters.
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the personal life section of nathan fielder’s wikipedia page is absolutely perfect.
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If you are a man and a woman told you she doesn’t want you having female friends, that is a red flag on her part.
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i feel such a connection to this adorable drawing by engels, so i embroidered her ♥️
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A few attractive men started doing mustaches and that was really cool but now we’ve got a bunch of ugly guys with mustaches because they’re copying the hot ones and that’s less cool /:.
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I love when people insist laziness isn’t real. I promise you, it’s very real.
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Deleted Hinge again to focus on dating twitter mutuals.
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Bartending certification course teaching me about how drunk people can be difficult
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I don’t care if the homeless person I gave money to spends it on drugs and alcohol because that’s probably what I was going to with it too.
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They’re doing this to me tonight.
"Alcohol is the cause of injuries at work", soviet safety poster, 1987
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according to his standup, john mulaney's dad once told him that he has the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair, and with every passing day that seems more and more accurate.
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I can’t really explain this but hinge feels like it’s for dog people.
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This dress is maybe a little too scandalous for running errands huh
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gifted kid burnout is very real, it’s hard to be told how smart and talented and perfect you are and then become an adult who can only think of one subject to tweet about forever.
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i get that tiktok’s censoring is really excessive but using little euphemisms for sexual assault like “trying mascara without my consent” is totally insufferable and confusing. use your adult words, please.
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It’s honestly too bad I’m not religious because I’d be great at it (I have magical thinking OCD).
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I think some of you are spoiling your inner children and they’re becoming real brats.
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Shut up. Shut up. Shut the fuck up. Shut UP. Oh my god SHUT UP.
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ok so what is up with this giant population of lgbtq, disabled, zionist zoomers with pic crew avis and the worst opinions known to mankind.
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hey i’m super excited for our date (: i was thinking we could go to a police station
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@shreyabasu003 Racism is bad but racism against the biggest population in the world is just stupid.
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If I had almost a million in checking I think I would pay off my credit card. Personally. Just me though.
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Sometimes I think I’m the world’s biggest disaster and then I remember her ♥️
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It’s stuck in my head and now it can be stuck in yours too
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Not to be overly sensitive but the last couple days have said so much about how the general public regards women and people who struggle with mental illness, and it’s absolutely fucking sickening.
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What you expect an orgy to be like vs what it’s actually like
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Absolutely haunted by the tacos from the BDSM vegan restaurant
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Sometimes i think about this guy I saw on hinge a few months ago. I really hope he found a white woman with black hair.
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You can’t be talking like that 5’7 baby.
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The changing of the block sucks because I block a lot of people not because I don’t want them to see my posts but because I don’t want to see theirs.
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My soulmate is probably not on a dating app but they’re definitely on twitter.
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Monica Lewinsky is more of a feminist icon than Hillary Clinton and I think that’s beautiful.
PLEASE VOTE! ♥️🤍🩵. (preferably like i did for harris/walz)
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Remember when Disney Channel had a show about having sexual tension with your step brother lmao.
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the beginning of the night vs the end of the night
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And you could have it all.My empire of mold.Spores that ruin lives.Beach that makes you old.
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Weight loss is fatphobic is probably my least favorite discourse. Grow up!.
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hey can i get 30 comforting words please? no i don’t want any pizza
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Yeah I love Dune 2. Dune 2 others as I want Dune un2 myself 🤣🤣🤣.
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This is the absolute worst kind of guy.
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Just realized that the opposite of a manic pixie dream girl is a depressive ogre nightmare man
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Am I allowed to say that I hate this song yet or is that still sexism?.
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Men, your dream girl isn’t on dating apps or at a nightclub, she’s:. -on twitter.
Men, your dream girl isn't on dating apps or at a nightclub, she's:. ~ At church .~ At the farmer's market.~ In the library.~ In a bookstore .~ Sipping a whole milk latte in a cute cafe.~ Baking sweet treats for loved ones.~ Spending time in nature
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Wait did you all actually like Wicked? I’m finally watching it and I hate it. This is an atrocity.
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wow i can’t believe that this joke fully cancelled the letter x and now you’re never allowed to use it again 😌.
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