Good morning 300k+ views! Guess I should post my drafts more often 👀 Thank you all for sharing your own experiences with this. I’m not having children, but as a former unknown AuDHD child whose existence was punished for far too long… I now protect my peace at all costs.

@pot8um Right? You should have seen me when I was 8 lol

@BlueMusings309 My meltdowns were beaten out of me. And because of that, anytime I tried to open up to a doctor about a dx, they’d ask why my parents didn’t get me checked out. I always say “that’s a question for them, not me.” But sure Doc, it’s my fault.

@pot8um This is so absolutely spot on! Reading this was like a breath of fresh air.

@pot8um I was talking with my 6yo the other day and let her know I had the same meltdowns over the seam in my socks, fabrics, foods, more. She asked me why I don’t anymore, and I told her that I now buy my own things, so maybe she can make more choices too. Mostly, that she’s not alone.

@pot8um Yeah, I was just a “bad” kid. What made me realize it wasn’t me: my own kid doesn’t behave the way I did. She’s got ADHD and Autism, just like me, but she also has a safe home where she has agency. She’s understood by the adults around her, not shamed or punished.

@pot8um FINALLY someone who gets it. All these people who talk about how hard adulting is and they want to be kids again, it gets me every time. Like, y'all must've had bloody fantastic childhoods! Adulting is hard, but at least I decide what I eat and wear and I have CONTROL.

@pot8um & I feel like my adult life started not 7 years ago at 18 but 7 months ago when I found out I’m autistic. I’ve started learning how to take care of myself the ways I NEEDED, not was SUPPOSED to, & I’m slowly building up towards better functioning, one system overhaul at a time 😅

@pot8um Oh I HATED being a child. Worst period ever. No one listens to you, you have to do and wear and eat what others tell you… and I had a relatively good childhood. :/

@pot8um Conversely, my (I suspect ND) mom just rolled with it when my brother and I refused to wear certain things, she cut tags out of clothes, she let us eat the same foods over and over. And I think that contributed to us not being diagnosed at a young age, that was OK by her.

@pot8um @Chinchillazllla I think about this A LOT. I was fully conscious of the change when I reached the age where adults stopped holding me to the standards they hold kids to, and let me do the double-standard adult stuff like eating a bowl of cereal in the middle of the afternoon because I wanted it.

@pot8um Yes! When i got diagnosed and I brought up my issue with unmatched socks, my mum was like "you haven't had a sock meltdown in years" Yes, cos I buy my own and carefully pair them and wash them in a washbag so I never lose any. I am the controller of the socks now, not you mum!

@pot8um My MIL used to get SO bent out of shape when I'd let my son pick his own clothes even at 2 years old. Even back then before diagnosis he had strong clothing preferences. If letting him choose made him comfortable and prevented an unnecessary meltdown YEAH he was allowed to pick!

@pot8um Worse as a kid. Still as an adult I deal with confusing rules. And loud noises at work (but I seem to be the only one who puts their fingers in their ears to block out the noise). Icky food - ur going to sit at this table until u finish that. An hour later, k, just take 1 bite.

@pot8um and pssssst ... a lot of those things DON'T HAVE TO BE out of kids' control. We can let kids make decisions about things in their own lives! And accommodate their discomforts! It's okay!

@pot8um Hello, yes. Honestly believe my kids don't have a diagnosis because our home is a sensory & neurodiverse safe haven & schools look for signs of distress more than differences.

@pot8um EXACTLY. I have structured my life to suit being ND. "Oh but you seem normal" yeah because I am a normal ND person rather than a distressed one because I'm not being forced to do uncomfortable shit...

@pot8um On the confusing rules part. As a teacher, I often find myself having to enforce rules I find pointless. No hats is an example. How exactly is the hat affecting their ability to learn? Or no hoods. What exactly is detrimental about it?

@pot8um Yeah... Also, when I was a kid and would voice my discomfort, I was told "A girl wears dresses, a girl has her hair up, pink is a girl's colour, YOU are a girl", so since I was a quiet kid, I just accepted that discomfort was a part of my life.

@pot8um Forever grateful that my mother let me be a "picky" eater as a kid. I know it could be frustrating as a cook, but it helped me a lot as a kid. When I was annoyed by my long hair she let me get it cut very short.