There should have been a sex and the city episode where carrie finds out her gym crush is a side.

Have you met my partner, DL str8 looking?.

One thing about me is that i always know around what date it is.

if you didn't get chosen to be pope keep making your own stuff, sharing it, and not being afraid to be cringe!.

When a restaurant menu says “sandos” i’m like… how old are we?.

I have a headache and am waiting to see how my body responds to experimental treatment (4 ibuprofen).

I embrace nonlinear story telling by never remembering what episode i left off on.

streaming services don't need to e-mail me when they've "noticed a log-in from a new device." Tell 'em have fun and just lock up before they leave!!!.

We are the daughters of the business you couldn’t stand on.

🎵 🎵 Cause you like my hair, my ripped up jeans, my ugly shirts, my debilitating phone addiction, my car that smells like old milk sometimes even though i’ve never had milk in it, my crusty laptop screen, you like the bad girl i got in me 🎵 🎵.

It is day 2 of the 4 months it will ultimately take me to recover from losing the hour of sleep.

ugh getting so many e-mails from ppl i said "lets circle back after SNL 50 when things calm down" to.

i dont respect anyone who watches the oscars btw.

I had a nightmare last night about how kristen taekman used to call her husband “playa” as a term of endearment.

Deconstructing stupidity in a way that makes you see the concept in a completely new way.

Delores is creating art. She is commenting on the idea of “being stupid”.

One of the largest issues facing young people today is that my elbow hurts.

can everyone CC me on all their emails? just want to see how other ppl do it.

kind of cool how one day I will die and I will have spent hours and hours and hours of my one life on this earth walking around my apartment avoiding opening my laptop to write and I won't get that time back or anything that will just be how I have spent it and that's that.

“Textasiz”. -a real housewife saying the word “texts”.