A lot of people responding to that "Tobias killed Hitler" tweet with "that ain't real, that's too wild"
so just for fun
here's the wildest thing that happens in every Animorphs book. 🧵
#3
The Encounter
Tobias, a boy who gets permanently stuck in the body of a red-tailed hawk, finally gives in to his animal instincts and kills and eats a rat. This sends him spiraling into a crisis of identity, and he attempts suicide in a shopping mall.
#1
The Invasion
Elfangor, a dying Andalite alien who gives our protagonists their super powers, is killed when Visser Three, an evil alien possessing a body of another Andalite, turns into a giant monster & graphically eats Elfangor.
Imagine if Darth Vader vored Obi-Wan Kenobi.
#54
The Beginning
The final book. Rachel is killed by a polar bear. Marco becomes a TV star. Jake has PTSD and is a war criminal. The war is over, but before anyone can catch a breath, a new threat arrives. One war just becomes another. This is hell, and hell never really stops.
#2
The Visitor
Rachel, a thirteen-year old girl, gets chased in an alleyway by an aggressive rapist, where she turns into an elephant and scares him off. The rest of the team admonish her for this.
...they're not all winners.
It's a cliche at this point, but as Crunchyroll wipes away everyone's digital purchases from Funimation, remember that if buying isn't owning, than pirating isn't stealing.
The Andalite Chronicles
In this prequel book, Elfangor's best friend Arbron gets stuck in the body of a Taxxon, a giant alien centipede with insatiable, perpetual hunger.
Elfangor then deserts his post and hides as a human on Earth, where he co-creates Windows OS.
#10
The Android
A pacifist alien robot dog is forced to reprogram itself to save the Animorphs, and it commits acts so gory and violent that everyone is traumatized, including the robot.
#6
The Capture
Jake gets possessed by a Yeerk alien, and the Animorphs are forced to starve it out. With a dying slug in his brain, Jake finds himself in a state between alive and dead, and himself starring face-to-face with Space Satan.
#17
The Underground
The Animorphs discover that instant oatmeal is an incapacitating drug to Yeerks, and they debate the ethics of using narcotics as a weapon.
Megamorphs
#3
Elfangor's Secret
The "Tobias kills Hitler" book. Other highlights includes fascist alternate timeline where the Animorphs as basically Nazis, and Cassie morphing a polar bear and attacking college students in the 1930s after they call her the n-word.
#11
The Forgotten
After crash landing in the Amazon rainforest, an unconscious Rachel gets ripped apart by a swarm of ants. All the Animorphs die violently, but are saved thanks to time travel shenanigans (but still have full memories of dying violently).
#4
The Message
While exploring the ocean for the source of a strange alien signal, the Animorphs, in the forms of dolphins, save a humpback whale from a shark attack. Marco gets his tail bitten off and nearly bleeds to death.
#9
The Secret
In retrospect, for
#5
I should have brought up when they morphed ants and experienced terrifying ego death as they turned into colony insects. They're forced into a similar situation here, turning into termites. Animal-lover Cassie is forced to kill the queen.
#8
The Alien
Ax, a young Andalite trapped on Earth and working with the Animorphs, is in conflict with his human allies because he comes from an isolationist, xenophobic culture, even after they take him to the movies and let him eat popcorn off the theater floor.
#16
The Warning
Jake gets swatted as a fly and nearly dies. We learn that Bill Gates is Visser Three's twin brother, and is also a Yeerk cannibal who finds his victims as an internet predator.
With Mickey Mouse days away from entering the public domain, let's take a look at how much of Disney and its films were built upon that same public domain.
This will not be comprehensive, which is wild.
#7
The Stranger
The Animorphs fight their way up a tower full of bad guys. Marco, in the form of a gorilla, gets his stomach sliced open, and Rachel, in the form of a grizzly bear, gets one of her paws sliced off. They're here because Space Jesus showed them a Yeerk weak spot.
#14
The Unknown
The Animorphs break into Area 51 to steal a piece of alien technology before the Yeerks can get it, only to discover that it's just an alien toilet.
#5
The Predator
Marco discovers that his mother, who he thought died in a boat accident, is alive and is the host body of Visser One, the leader of the alien invasion. The Animrophs find themselves in a political chess match between Visser One and Visser Three.
#26
The Attack
The Animorphs are forced into a war game between Space Jesus and Space Satan. They discover that Satan's warriors, the Howlers, are mentally children who think they're just playing a game as they violently murder everything in their path.
#12
The Reaction
Due to a sci-fi allergic reaction, Rachel gives birth to crocodile just before she's about to go on a talk show with dollar store Jonathan Taylor Thomas.
Megamorphs
#2
In the Time of Dinosaurs
The Animorphs are trapped in the Late Cretaceous period, where they find Earth occupied by peaceful crab aliens who brought broccoli to the planet. Tobias drops a comet on them, killing both the crab aliens AND the dinosaurs.
#22
The Solution
David kills Jake and Rachel's cousin and dumps the body in a hospital elevator shaft. The Animorphs trap David in the form of a rat and leaves him screaming on a cluster of rocks in the middle of the ocean.
#13
The Change
The Animorphs find two free Hork-Bajir, innocent herbivore aliens that the Yeerks turned into violent shock troops. To prove that they're no longer possessed by Yeerks, one rips its own skull open and exposes its brain.
Animorphs. Silly and serious, wacky and dark. I love these books.
This thread got some traction, huh? If you like going down memory lane, I do a Youtube series called Nick Knacks, which looks at every single show that ever aired on Nickelodeon.
#25
The Extreme
Trapped in the arctic circle, the Animorphs discover that the Yeerks have been genetically splicing human and alien DNA, creating a race that melt at room temperature. It's as horrifying as you're imagining right now.
Megamorphs
#1
The Andalite's Gift
Rachel bonks her head and gets amnesia. She wanders the woods for a bit, until finding an old woman in a shack. The woman locks Rachel and sets the shack on fire. Meanwhile, there's a dust monster from Saturn attacking things.
#40
The Other
The Animorphs discover a gay Andalite couple secretly living on Earth. One is disabled (and it turns out Ax is super ablest) and the other is dying of Space AIDS.
More than just The Backyardigans, Burgess was vice president of production for Nick Jr. in the mid-90s when it was developing shows like Blue's Clues and Little Bill, and was a writer and creative for Winx Club. A true Nickelodeon legend. Rest in peace.
Today is the 50th anniversary of The Electric Company, the Children's Television Workshop first big television project after Sesame Street and a show I watched a ton in reruns. Since it's October, here's Morgan Freeman playing Dracula.
#19
The Departure
Cassie has a nervous breakdown over all the murder she's committed over the last year, and quits the Animorphs. We meet our first good Yeerk, bringing into question the ethics of painting one side of a war as "all bad"
The Hork-Bajir Chronicles
Another prequel book, we see Alloran, the host body for Visser Three, nearly wipe out the Hork-Bajir with sci-fi biological weapons.
The book as a whole is basically James Cameron's Avatar.
In the beginning, the live action remakes were 45 years apart from the original animated films. Then 30, then 20. Moana is 8 years apart. In 4 years, we'll be seeing original & remake every other year. By 2030, animated original and live action remake will release simultaneously.
#52
The Sacrifice
The Animorphs blow up the Yeerk's underground base, collapsing a third of the city. This series was written before 9/11, so you could still do that kind of thing.
#33
The Illusion
In order to trick the Yeerks, Tobias gets captured on purpose. 2/3rds of the book is just a child getting endlessly, painfully tortured.
#15
The Escape
The Yeerks are running experiments on sharks by implanting sci-fi devices in their heads. The Animorphs accidentally get these devices implanted in them, and if they morph anything relatively small, their heads will explode.
#18
The Decision
The Animorphs are accidentally teleported to an aquatic planet full of psychic frog aliens. Our heroes help the Andalites blow up an entire continent.
Megamorphs
#4
Back to Before
The Animorphs experience a timeline where they never got super powers, and somehow they do a better job defeating the Yeerks. Oops. We learn that Cassie is a time-space anomaly.
#32
The Seperation
Rachel gets cut in half while as a starfish, and the two halves become Nice Rachel and Mean Rachel. Mean Rachel tries to kill Jake and Marco.
#20
The Discovery
The Animorphs recruit a boy named David after he tries to sell discovered alien tech on eBay. David seems a bit to eager to kill things. To be continued.
#21
The Threat
David turns on the other Animorphs, killing a red-tailed hawk that he thinks is Tobias and cutting Jake's throat as a lion. To be concluded.
#29
The Sickness
Ax gives the rest of the team Andalite Covid. Cassie, a teenage girl and amateur veterinarian, is forced to perform brain surgery on Ax.
#41
The Familiar
A THIRD Space God makes Jake experience a reality where the Yeerks won and are turning the moon into a mini-sun. We never find out what the third Space God's deal is.
#47
The Resistance
Half of this book is an unrelated journal of a Union soldier during the American civil war. The other half is the Animorphs teaming up with Trekkies to fight the Yeerks.
#45
The Revelation
Marco's father discovers how alien space travel works, and he and Marco have to fake their deaths to avoid the Yeerks. Marco can't save his step-mom and lies to his father that she was Evil Actually.
#48
The Return
David returns, having made a deal with Space Satan. They try and fail to tempt Rachel to the dark side, and David begs Rachel to kill him. We never find out if she does.
#42
The Journey
The Helmacrons return and hide in Marco's body. The Animorphs shrink down and go after them. Rachel is blinded when Marco's stomach acids melt her eyes.
#30
The Reunion
Visser One realizes the Animorphs are human (the Yeerks have been thinking they were Andalites the whole time) because the number of human controller causalities is far lower Hork-Bajir or Taxxon controller causalities. Marco tries to kill his mother.
#51
The Absolute
The Animorphs convince the Governor and the National Guard of the Yeerk invasion, and things break out into all-out war. Marco drives a tank into the vice-principal's house.
#31
The Conspiracy
Jake's brother Tom is controlled by the Yeerks, and Jake has to find a way to stop Tom from stabbing their father to death in a cabin in the middle of the woods.
#37
The Weakness
Violence-loving Rachel takes over as leader of the Animorphs for a bit. An innocent man dies of cardiac arrest after the Animorphs attack a television station.
#49
The Diversion
The Yeerks finally discover who the Animorphs are, and they and their families are forced into hiding in the forest. Tobias finds his long-lost mother. Ax and Marco hack into the CIA out of boredom.
VISSER
We discover that Visser One has a secret family, and she's nearly forced into killing her secret son during a Yeerk trial. A homeless man has Yeerk corpse still stuck in his head.
#44
The Unexpected
Cassie, trapped in the Australian outback, has to perform an emergency amputation on an indigenous man who cut himself on alien metal.
I've brought this up before, but Chick-Fil-A made a commercial in the 80s that's clearly about two lesbians shopping for their wedding and I'll never stop sharing it.
"Nickelodeon made a huge mistake when they didn't pick up Adventure Time" only works if we assume Nick's Adventure Time would have been the same as CN's Adventure Time, which is most certainly wouldn't have been.
RIP Chris Reccardi. Director, writer and designer on Ren & Stimpy, storyboard artist for My Life as a Teenage Robot, director and writer for Spongebob Squarepants. Also Powerpuff Girls, Dexter's Lab, Tiny Toon Adventures, Samuari Jack and so much more.
For a man dying of cancer playing the villain of a silly low-rent video game movie, you wouldn't expect Raul Julia to go so hard, to be so iconic. Fucking legend.
It's Nickelodeon's 45th birthday! While the channel is, uh, having a moment right now, it's had a long, complicated history of highs and lows. My name is Gregiffer, and I'm making a series covering Nick's history from beginning to end. Here are ten videos to get you started!
EXCLUSIVE: ‘Family Guy’ creator Seth MacFarlane is partnering, through his Seth MacFarlane Foundation, with Martin Scorsese’s Film Foundation to fund the first-ever, curated restoration of historically significant animated shorts from the 1920s to 1940s
Disney built itself off the public domain, it put them on the map, saved them in the post-war years, and saved them again to kick off their renaissance. It's only fair they start giving back.
On one hand, Something Awful has one of the oldest forum archives around, so there's archeological value in finding threads from 2005 about Nickelodeon Studio's closure.
On the other hand, all the posts are like this.
Earliest reference to Dragon Ball I can find in the American newspaper archives. December 23rd, 1989, tv listing for a local station in Vineland, New Jersey, a test airing of the rarely-seen Harmony Gold dub of "Curse of the Blood Rubies" and "Mystical Adventure" edited together.
A show that took what worked from Ren & Stimpy and gave it some real structure and character and heart. I love Doug, I love Rugrats, but for me, this is when Nicktoons really arrived.
Rocko's Modern Life turns 30 today. Pay homage to the soft-spoken wallaby from Down Under and the rest of the crew - Spunky, Heffer, Filburt, and the Bigheads. What a hoot!
“Snow White” was first published by the Brothers Grimm in 1812, putting them well in the public domain when Walt Disney made his breakout animated feature in 1937. Current US copyright law "28 years with 28-year renewal."
The current writer's strike has now gone on exactly as long as the 2007 strike, and no end in sight. This is going to decide pretty much everything in media entertainment for the foreseeable future.
#StarTrekPicard
spoilers.
If you're still a punk anarchist after forty years and the only thing that's changed is that you're more considerate for the rest of the people on the bus, I want to be best friends.
Carlo Collodi published “The Adventures of Pinocchio” in 1883. Disney’s Pinocchio began production in 1937, when the book was still copyrighted in the United States, but released on February 7th, 1940, thirty-eight days after it entered the public domain.