rosie
@pinkladyappIe
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non-edtwt dni • documentation of me losing my sanity • former anorexic, just vibes now
20 | 176 cm | 🩷
Joined June 2020
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girl you had malnutrition induced psychosis
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i wish i didnt know this much about nutrition bc 16 year old me genuinely thought she would gain on 400 cals and was a better anorexic bc now my brain is like “well this is still a deficit” stfu you fat fuck god
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dad called and said “ik you won’t eat dinner but i was wondering if you’d like to just sit with us?”
i’m an awful daughter
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the damage this photo has done to my 13 year old self on tumblr is insane tbh
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being in this ed crap for years means your triggers are so fucking obscure and weird and specific
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apparently oomad can make you lose more than the usual omad hmm 🤔
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noooo you don’t get it i’ll recover when i’m bmi 14 and somehow naturally maintain that haha
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girls when they feel guilty about eating anything at all so they go overeat???
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that tumblr post that says “ok but there is literally no way you won’t lose weight” keeps me going
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when eating becomes harder than not eating again, when hunger is more comforting than fullness, when it’s “how much food i need to be alive” and not “as much food as i would need to still lose weight”
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you can tell who’s gone through extreme/reactive hunger and who is still in their honeymoon phase by the advice they give on binging lmao
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fast more, eat less, walk more, weight less, burn more, complain less, LOSE MORE
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“you look healthier i was worried about you” i’ll fucking show you healthy
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it’s not an eating disorder it’s a wellness journey 🥰 trying to heal my gut or whatever 🥰 totally healthy relationship with food and exercise 🥰
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as someone who’s been ow, normal weight and uw, having anorexia/ restricting below bmi 17 is a VERY VERY different experience
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ok i know “best anas” will be annoying under this post but legit did everyone overeat today im seeing so many ppl on the tl saying they did, its has to be the new moon + spring equinox right?? somehow??? am i onto smt???
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since i binged and everything is going wrong in life i went and did the right thing
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when i’m fasting in a purging bc i binged way and not in a best ana kinda way
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when extreme hunger hits after months of staying under 1k and getting +10k steps everyday 🤠🤠
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i hate how high res = semi recov for some reason for some people, no i am still fucking struggling, doing harm reduction or choosing to do high res shouldn’t invalidate my illness right????? like i’m balls deep in this still
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before you open this thread as someone who’s been in extreme hunger he’ll for months now, if filling food and fiber and whatnot helped i would have moved on by now, you have to honor it that’s the only way
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me if i didn’t give into my extreme hunger that random morning on january 21st
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“but cola zero breaks ketosis!!” i could not tell you how much i dont give a fuck
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slowly becoming a high res + exercise girl (she ate maintenance and exercise purged)
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exercise purgers of edtwt, how much of a deficit you aim for or net calories to lose weight bc i have decided to be just give in the exercise compulsion and eat food to make my mental hunger go away
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this is making me feel so hopeless,, it really never goes away does it?
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one is: “give yourself time, allow yourself cravings, eat more!!”
and the other is: “stop being a fat fuck and tell yourself to stop 😇”
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i 🤍 exercise purging, why did i rot in bed all these years this is way better
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this won’t work on me bc i could eat like 10 apples easily without being hungry, i love apples
the saying “if you’re not hungry enough to eat an apple then you’re not hungry enough to eat” is such a huge reality check for me
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“i don’t have an exercise addiction and obsession with getting in steps what??”
she says as she is walking in circles in a small ass room
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i think all the girly girls who binge on fruit should be moots with me and then we should all have a sleepover where we eat like kilos of fruit
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@mirubunnie
oh for sure clothes feeling tight makes me more aware of my body which means restricting more even if it’s subconsciously
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people are taking 20k steps, they are fasting while doing that and i’m barely getting 8k and eating 750, i’m so sick of myself
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i need to experience the “3 day fast euphoria” everyone keeps talking about at least once so im fasting now
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@slut4Ioona
good news to everyone who has it including me: this happens bc of lack of muscle, you can’t target reduce fat but if you focus gain muscle here they should be gone
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i don’t need to obsess over macros steps and a meal plan if i just stop eating
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@redactedkcals
eating slow, like chew every bite until it’s liquid slow, be with the food and if it’s good actually enjoy it, actually taste what you’re eating and be present, soon you realize food isn’t that good
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that moment when you realize you were disordered much younger than you thought this all started and that you will never enjoy food and your ed will consume your life until you die 🥰😍
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@vanillbrunette
i think it’s him just going to his old habits, he is used to restricting food being a lowkey extreme vegan and all, i really don’t think binging was his default
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@mirubunnie
yeah ik ik it was meant to be a silly tweet im not hating on her or anything i think she is gorgeous 😭
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to the ana coach in my dms asking me my new ugw, whatever bmi this is my new ugw
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this guide is GOATED im coming to so many realizations, i truly 100% believe i wont binge anymore just bc of the sheer amount of things it made me realize
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@dietholden
it’s actually a natural laxative so probably so your digestive system doesn’t get as fucked
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why are junkorexics lowkey skinnier? the junko inside of me is lowkey coming back and i want to know
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“i cant give you my twt acc im sorry”
“oh is it like a n$fw acc or smt?”
“hahah yeah or smt”
…it’s worse than n$fw, it’s a public diary
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seeing a recipe and immediately thinking how can i anorexify that
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being called a giant is triggering me tho but yolo live laugh love
i call it modelmaxxing 🩷
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@kumadiets
me eating the comparison videos up bc it triggers me 😝😝 but no seriously there is no way she is fully recovered
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am i the only one that gets super sensitive to the smell of foods when low restricting, suddenly every smell is amplified by like x100
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i think i’ll recover when i’m 50, that feels like a good age to not care about what i look like
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@snapdragoncigs
you’re over estimating angel i would say 50 cals but even that might be too much
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@d1etcherry
i wish they didn’t but yes they do 😭 some ppl don’t count as harm reduction tho 🤷♀️
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the guilt of eating is starting to get to me again, i really had to pull myself out of the last restriction phase by “harm reduction” and it was not in fact harm reduction, and i know i won’t ever let myself try high res again, happy that i’m getting worse but also not :/
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@fadingMoth
oh for sure, not to put myself but when i first developed it i was the definition of butterfly ana, emma chota wannabe,,,now it’s just gray and dull and it’s legit so hard to romanticise and every pro post is almost funny atp
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