*peyton manning after oral sex with his wife, to tune of nationwide jingle* 🎶damn that pussy tastes so good🎶

never gotten so many compliments on my goo goo dolls tshirt than i have at the orlando airport today

I’m just fuckkin witchu

yo dilbert look like drew carey

well, well, well......hello again, twitter 😎

Beefin wit my chick when im in jail

called out for 5G poisoning

the ceo shooter is my ex 🙄 y’all can have him, ladies!!!!!

i like how in Smile 2 she only drinks voss water

😮‍💨

do u think there will be attractive people at this slowdive show

the way i thought mike tyson was 70+ years old this whole time. kept calling him grampy. dude is so young. honestly made the fight more interesting from this perspective, until i learned the truth

them taking out mike’s mouthguard after every round but he’s wearing billy bob teeth

in a perfect world taylor swift would be president and ryan murphy would be vice president

ryan murphy got his grubby lil hands on everything, don’t he

if john lennon were alive he would like trump

the guitarist of iron maiden came into the salon the other day and got highlights

just wanna live long enough to see t*ylor sw*ft get her comeuppance

it’s always wyd and never hyd

i be laughing in my bed thinking about yall before i go to sleep

biden be sounding like piglet