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Christmas Miracle Profile
Christmas Miracle

@penishorts

Followers
31K
Following
225K
Media
6K
Statuses
40K

The ball is back.

killing pedophiles
Joined May 2017
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@penishorts
Christmas Miracle
2 hours
Am I the only one that doesn’t really care that much about getting presents and thinks spending time with family is more important?
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@NancyMace
Nancy Mace
1 day
Because of course the transmission on my truck would blow. Perfect ending to this year. ;-)
1K
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@DumbLamia
Mia
2 days
On Cinema Oscar Special Trivia
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@penishorts
Christmas Miracle
2 days
Can’t really blame Donald Trump for being a pedophile, everyone’s 12 now.
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@penishorts
Christmas Miracle
2 days
Getting to that age where I don’t feel the need to have a favorite color anymore.
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@penishorts
Christmas Miracle
3 days
Not Woody Allen 😭
@kylegriffin1
Kyle Griffin
3 days
BREAKING: House Oversight Democrats just release a small batch of 95,000 photos received from the Epstein estate. Images include: Donald Trump, Steve Bannon, Woody Allen, Larry Summers, Bill Clinton, Bill Gates. Redactions have been made by the Committee.
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@DCUBrief
DCU Brief
3 days
Lanterns is giving Twin Peaks vibes and I kinda love it.
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1K
@penishorts
Christmas Miracle
3 days
I’m getting desperate
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141
@penishorts
Christmas Miracle
4 days
We got to drink from the garden hose before TikTok labeled it “cringe”
@chorio_actis
ᯓ★
5 days
i lived it and they're right. nothing was "cringe", social media was just your friends, you could thrift a whole outfit for $5, kegs were affordable, and everyone was in a band
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@penishorts
Christmas Miracle
4 days
Is it just me or does something seem off in Pluribus? Something else is definitely going on.
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@penishorts
Christmas Miracle
4 days
It’s not for critics it’s for the fans.
@FilmUpdates
Film Updates
4 days
‘ELLA MCCAY’ debuts with 24% on Rotten Tomatoes. In theatres tomorrow.
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@Feldfrog
Benny Feldman
5 days
One door leads to safety, the other door leads to death. One guard only tells the truth, the other guard only tells lies. You may ask only one question. “what are you, the door brothers”
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@penishorts
Christmas Miracle
5 days
Backspacing an entire word document titled The Birth of Cool
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@Attractions
Attractions Magazine
5 days
Concept imagery for Dracula Land, a new theme park planned for Romania. The park's website boasts attractions with "A.I.-enhanced experiences." Details: https://t.co/AvgT4xGWfN
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@penishorts
Christmas Miracle
6 days
Not quite what I wanted
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15
@9thGenTexian
Lauren wants TEXIT 🗳
27 days
@christwithcali @NickJFuentes Proud non-autist Groyper Mom!
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490
@penishorts
Christmas Miracle
6 days
This image really made a lot of guys go insane back in the day because of a clearly fake green text
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@penishorts
Christmas Miracle
6 days
What was the “knife stabbing incident” at your high school?
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@penishorts
Christmas Miracle
6 days
No reason for English muffins to be pushing their advertisements so hard.
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@penishorts
Christmas Miracle
6 days
I wish Joseph Smith was alive to see his vision fully realized
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