PJ and the Bear 🐻
@papajawn7704
Followers
6,018
Following
3,554
Media
7,286
Statuses
68,195
GenX to my core. Critical thinker. Lover of bacon, coffee, yardwork, dogs, and cheese #survivor . #recovery
Joined October 2011
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Pinned Tweet
Be the man who gets that smile when she sees you in the mirror
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Offended?
Triggered?
Let me introduce you to how I grew up
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Is smoking weed and then masturbating considered weed wacking?
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Apparently “There’s fuckery afoot!” is a phrase not appreciated by my Human Resources department
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Traffic might encounter potential delays today in Philly
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Woke up this morning got out of bed and my knees cracked so loud it scared the dog
Hot right?
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I’m old enough to remember when baseball cards actually came with a rock hard slab of bubblegum that gave the cards an aroma that can’t be matched
If you know-you know
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Words cannot express how little I care about royalty and celebrities
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I'm going to my son's apartment to eat all of his cheez- its and leave the empty box in the cupboard.
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If you don't sing along to "Build me up Buttercup" we can't be friends
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I just wonder if we’d all get along better if cable news went away
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Tested positive for giving a fuck
Send thoughts and prayers
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Happy 4th of July to everyone except the people who put raisins in potato salad
Who broke you?
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They leave paw prints on your heart
RIP my shadow-my Zoey
2010-2023
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Wow-I saw something I didn’t like…..
And scrolled right past it
Amazing huh?
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My daughter just asked me who VanHalen is….
I’ve failed as a parent
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You send dick pics
I send pictures of my baking
We are not the same
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Areola is not a Disney princess name
I think rented the wrong kids movie
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Boys these days will never know the guts it took
to call a girls house....
Only to have her father pick up the phone
And then you have ask for her....
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Pay attention to who's happy for you when you're happy
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Sex and coffee are similar in that the proper grind is required for the best results
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Guys don’t bother with dick pics
Send pictures of barbecue-I got 2 proposals and a cleavage pic for my meatloaf
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Having sex without going down on her is like opening a yogurt and not licking the lid
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Someone has his first birthday today 🎉🎂🎁
Goose is officially 1
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If you don't know what movie this is from I feel bad for you
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<—Silently hoping there’s a supply chain issue with pumpkin spice this year
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Kids these days won’t know the awesomeness of dedicating a song to someone on the radio
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GEN X only lived through AIDS, the cold war, two gas crises, disco, Three mile island, the economy collapsing, 9/11....
so yeah we're jaded AF
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You’ll never see a feistier crowd than a Waffle House at 2am
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Funny thing about getting older-your eyes get weaker but your ability to see through people gets better.
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Hey you!
Yes, you….guess what?
You’re an awesome person
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I just flipped three eggs over easy without breaking the yolks
-if you’re looking for a badass
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An Easter egg hunt but the eggs are filled with whiskey and weed
Who’s in?
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When she’s yelling at you with no bra on and all you’re doing is watching them tiddies bounce around
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Won’t make it to midnight and I work the next 12.
Happy 2022
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Anyone else notice that your clothes only get caught on door handles, etc. when you’re in a rush and/or in a bad mood already?
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Just kinda wanna park under the stars and go from there
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People who back into their garage….
Are you secretly Batman?
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The ice maker broke so now I’ve resorted to using ice cube trays like the early pioneers did
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If I say “Fruit salad”
and you don’t say “yummy yummy” we can’t be friends cause you’re way too serious for me
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Women who love hockey are an extra special kind of hot
Happy Wednesday
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I'll never have a good 5k time because I stop to pet all the dogs on the way
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Hear me out…a new marvel superhero named-
Reply guy
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Imagine being on Twitter, having an opinion and keeping it to yourself
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As a parent you only forget to lock the bedroom door once
Once.....
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Coming home smelling like another dog is the canine equivalent of having lipstick on your collar
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If you wear matching family vacation shirts we can’t be friends
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"You've got male?" - if Twitter made an alert for dick pics
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Update on the dog
It’s either her knee or hip and she’ll be on meds for 2 weeks and rest.
Due to her age no X-rays or surgery was recommended as 12 year old labs don’t have very good outcomes under anesthesia.
Sooo I’m sleeping on the floor with her tonight and for 2 weeks
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In just 8 years the ‘80’s will be 50 years ago
I’m not okay with this
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Soooooo
I ate the last Klondike bar….and to cover my tracks I’ll have to buy another pack and eat 5 more.
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As shitty as this place can be…
The caring of the people here can be overwhelming
Thank you
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