If Zohran wins, im leaving nyc. If Cuomo wins, im leaving nyc. If Sliwa wins, im leaving nyc. No offense to any of them, I just have warrants out for my arrest and I miss my mom.

I miss when the Jews controlled the media

Comedy Podcasters in 2025

Did you know you can go to dog parks and text the phone numbers on the collars

If he doesn’t post his height, send it over. I’ll figure it out. Meet Mathias: 5’3.

I have one follower in San Diego. @Sparta_Chris, I would like to formally invite you to my headlining show at Mic Drop Comedy Club tonight. 7:30PM

Left my cousin Daniel a positive review at his work. Pretended to forget his name a little bit so it wasn’t suspicious

This year slapped

Me coming home high trying to act normal in front of my mom

Nice to meet you too Felicia

JFL new faces were unofficially announced days ago by looking at which comics were suddenly wearing masks.

Wow Hitler and Epstein seriously? This is not art

If you know my act then you know tonight was a major milestone

Republican senators right now: Fuck People, Marry Guns, Kill Kids

Hard to be optimistic about comedy when you realize Chappelle was only 14 when he started posting his clips to Tik Tok

Bezos buys @washingtonpost and now this is the type of stuff they report on…what a joke

Good news @SunCountryAir, after being on hold for 2 hours and 22 minutes, @TorioVanGrol’s phone call has gone through and he is receiving the help he so desperately needed (a question regarding the mask mandate)

Take a bite of food off an only child’s plate and watch an entire friendship crumble

The opener from last night was @maxeddyishere. Very funny kid. Follow him!

One time I showed @OrionLevine my Tinder, and after seeing I verified my profile he laughed and said "why would anyone pretend to be you"