My week in Vegas had a little bit of everything…

Even people I’ve known for YEARS call me by the wrong name: O-free-ah, Ophelia, O-pree-ah, Ostrich… the list goes on. OH-fear-ah for those still confused.

Every era has its weightloss solution and I’m channeling the 80s. What can I say - I love retro. Vintage speed anyone? Worker harder, sleep less ladies! https://t.co/d4N2XF2up0

Thrilled to be back in Vegas @VegasCellar!

May your glass overflow with a Russian River Valley Pinot Noir, which pairs perfectly with Weight Lifting. That’s my jam baby!

A little slice of a fun audience interaction the other night - just a break from the awful news and senseless deaths. https://t.co/IGmjgYfCTg

The beginning of January is always packed for me - New Years! Hiking with Family! My birthday! Travel! A Hockey Game! A Haircut! https://t.co/A9X6cTDM1U

Most people feel like AI is being forced on them. Whether you love it, hate it, or aren't sure—you should get to decide.

If you’re someone who laughs themself to sleep, you probably have bigger problems. But here’s hoping we all get more sleep in 2026 — it affects everything. Of course, too much sleep is called depression! Ya can’t win.

To all my fellow Capricorns and early January birthday people - I feel your pain and I know what it’s like to believe and yet be skeptical about what you believe. It’s a fun way to live! #capricornseason

As we head into the New Year - let us all know in our hearts and soul, which female standup we really are! According to the industry there are only 2 so let’s see if we can break that mold people!

And here I thought my child was more interested in a Solid State Drive. I know he enjoyed the power cord I got him for Hanukkah though!  https://t.co/ePzc3dpT7v

There was a time when joy came in bright colors and cuteness. Now it comes with OS updates, a myriad of cables, and IT support. Happy Holidays!

Whether you are microdosing or macrodosing, I hope you do it with joy rather than with files, email, and excel spreadsheets! Happy Holidays!

In my endless quest to find the perfect present- that isn’t just another screen-related game, I thought - oh! The magical toy: Slinky. And all that I have to say is that I failed again, parents. Call me if we can come over to your duplex.

As we cascade into the holidays, I'm thinking a lot about mental health and how many of us want to medicate ourselves, maybe a little extra right now? I mean, I do, admittedly, but I won’t because I can’t let them think they won! See, I’m fine. https://t.co/Ane3uFxy6D

Pulling what I will call a classic Ophira mom bit from the recent vault…

In my endless hustle to try to get more work, I was talking to a comedy agent/booker who told me that it would be helpful if I could get some testimonials from impressive people so she could use those quotes as endorsements of my work…

In this liminal space between the holidays, you get a lot of families, a lot of siblings and a lot of people *maybe* doing  drugs. It’s fun when you get them all together at the same time. Here’s just a strange little snippet from one of those crowds…

Does urine fall from the sky in cities other than New York? I want to know. Well at least winter is here!

I was just ordering my kid’s school photos for this year and I found an envelope of my school photos…