Mike LaRock
@openmike
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stand up comic | king of the 10-like tweet
DC
Joined July 2018
just got to greenland. actually mostly ice. appears the president has fallen for one of the classic blunders!
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did you know that mormon missionaries are not permitted to swim? true fact
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oh, verizon wireless, you tease me with your silken tongue. how can I protest such sterling logical prowess?
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pluto tv brings you the convenience of cable without the hassle of good quality programming
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if you show your therapist clips of your act it’s kind of like doing a gig for -$250
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biblical times must have been sick I wish ‘wise man’ was still a viable career
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if you want a truly immersive film experience, try watching Dune on a flight with no drink service.
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this is no way to speak of the late Gilbert Gottfried
spent his last days calling single mothers “leftovers” not knowing he had no time left over
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when you’re ten years old in 1900 and your family sends you off to work in the mines:
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self-defense instructor would be a great job for somebody whose kink is getting beaten up by frightened women.
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it’s 4/20, you know what that means: only 360 days til tax day.
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This wordle sucks
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“hey little sister, what have you done?!” — billy idol, upon finding her victims’ mangled corpses
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listen, kid — I don’t know what you thought this was, but I’m kind of a big deal at this roller rink. people look up to me here.
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