“Eddie, Eddie, what the bloody hell do you think you're doing?”. “I thought I'd burn it off.”. “What, your face?”. “No, the excess gas.”

“WE ARE MEN OF SCIENCE!”

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“Why haven't I got a girlfriend? I'd look great with a girlfriend. Never had a girlfriend. Perhaps I'm the new Messiah. Yeah! Maybe that's it. “Get up and walk." Fifty quid. “Throw away your sticks." Bonk! April Fool!”.

“South of France - we bloody invented it mate! George the Third, he was the one. All that swimming business. And the windbreak, who invented that? We did. The Brits. Never mind covering yourself in Mazola and lying around with a bit of string up your crack.”

Who is the funniest British comic from this lot Bottom fans?.

“Foxy stoat seeks…”. “Pig?!”.

“You were trying to pork her!”

“We make love…”.

“Xylophone….xylophone fish.”.

“See you in a mo…a sex mo.”.

“What do you normally do when you got to bed, Eddie?”. “I normally have a bit of a kip.”. “You're so concise. I mean, what's your going-to-bed routine?”. “Ah, routine. Well, I normally. get into bed. and then I have a bit of a kip.”.

“What's your name again?”. “Spudgun.”. “Spudgun. Why do they call you Spudgun?”. “Well, give me a potato and I'll show you why.”. “Don't Richie, you don't want to see that.”. “Well, why do they call you Hedgehog?”. “Give me a hedgehog and I'll show you why.”.

“Tiny Eddie…and ‘I’” 🍆.

“I say, what a lovely blouse. It's very special isn't it? Do you often wear blouses? Or sometimes do you wear a jumper? I suppose it depends on the weather really doesn't it? I, I sometimes wear a jumper. There again, sometimes I wear a cardie.”.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes…”

“Natasha, do you believe in sex before marriage?”. “Yes.”. “Would you, would you. practice it?”. “Yes I would.”. “Would you mind signing something to that effect? You know, just an informal agreement between the two of us, but legally binding obviously!”. “Sure.”. “Bloody hell!”.

“What time do you call this?”

“Right up there…”.

“British journalism Eddie, best in the world…” 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

“GET IT OUT…”