nobody on this plane wants to play boggle w me man :(

i swear i see this specific twitter ad more than my own mother nowadays

life is so hard being the hottest person on this recreational kickball team.

call me ready to golf the way i’m off putting

it’s so awesome how every day the moment i log into my job my phone starts having an inexplicable aura and allure to it… scroll me… scroll me…

this is how it feels every time i go into a restaurant and have to scan a qr code to see the menu

the president lowkey pioneered working from home if you really think about it

*pulls down orion’s belt*

froze up and accidentally tipped my wench server $2 which probably was a bigger insult than just not tipping

damn they’re really going in on him

nice stoner girl, pompous gay, zooted asexual

there will never be another one like him

it would be so crazy if greta thunberg and malala yousafzai dated like that would fix a lotta problems

LIBERALS don’t say “trick or treat” they say TRIGGERTREAT🎃

i don’t remember writing this down

wow ok i turns out i actually met Mr “dream” Clay at the Chicago airport in 2017 when he tried to steal my suitcase & claim it as his. i’d remember that face anywhere, especially when he elbowed me, said “it’s a free for all at the luggage carousel, ugly” and stomped on my toes

r.i.p to queen elizabeth🫅 you will be sorely missed 🤤

pretty privilege does exist the privilege is that you get to see something as pretty as me

in class and the teacher jus spelled khaki pants as “cacky” i am not learning shit man 😭😭

what if that rick roll was what pushed me over the edge.