we need to fund Ethan

“It’s not that complicated” … said no boyfriend ever.

Sorry bro I can’t o have tickets to a live performance of the intro music to The Daily

I bet some of you didn’t know I have a groupchat w my friends called “the suckies”

Whisky, tacos, and gangsta rap >

Hidden meanings in names: Homer = Humor Bart = Brat Marge = Marriage Lisa = Listen

Pornhub Wrapped

You have about 10 seconds to vacate my google doc before I release the hounds .

Ever since I was a little kid I knew that I wanted to hit your vape

Imagine someone is moments away from dying at the third wave coffee shop and the information that could possibly save their life is presented to you like this

@Whotfismick From where can I get this ???

Biden should come out as bi at the next debate

Dune vibes

Snack like Scooby Drink like Homer Love like Lois Chill like Patrick

girlfriends love when they tell you about an issue they are having and you respond "ruh-roh Raggy!" in scooby doo voice

I think I like this little life...

eating toast for breakfast like a character in a Disney channel movie

buying a vape from the 7 year old working at the bodega>>>>

🎶 fa la la la la la la who cares 🎶

I hav sleep apnea

The Christmas party is the perfect time to try out that joke about your colleague’s green card marriage