justin
@nothinbutlag
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139,818
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Pinned Tweet
NEW VID JUST DROPPED. i went to comic con. we met some very interesting characters along the way. don't miss it.
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im at tim hortons and they fucked up john wicks order bro im bout to die 😭
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drink like peter 🍺
smoke like brian 🚬
think like stewie 🧠
swag like lois 💅
fuck like quagmire 💦
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I just woke up and now Jack Black is starting a let’s play channel idk what’s real anymore
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Courage the cowardly dog trying to explain the eldritch horrors beyond human comprehension he just witnessed
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Some dickhead thought it’d be funny to paint a fake tunnel on a brick wall near the highway. They fucking got me again. My car is totaled, I’m lucky to be alive. This shit needs to end.
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@chrishemsworth
thank you brother Chris, but alas, i am the one on the right. If you ever need an extra stunt double you know where to find me. 💪❤️
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Been fighting my demons for years and I’m tired of it so I invited them over and now we just chilling
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@netflix
STOP CANCELLING ALL YOUR ANIMATED PROJECTS THEN I DO NOT WANT TO WATCH FIFTEEN SEASONS OF BIG MOUTH!!!!!!!!!
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ur not gonna fuckin believe who just showed up again.
some 4 foot tall duck just came up to my lemonade stand and, get this- asked if I sold grapes. i told him i didn’t have any and that he was welcome to try the lemonade but he just waddled away. doubt he’ll be back any time soon lmao. moron
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started watching family guy. just got to season 12 episode 6. no one told me the fucking dog dies. what the fuck.
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A bunch of girls told me I look just like Chris hemsworth haha. do you agree?
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I lost like 50 chickens on Minecraft last night because of a random lightning strike. I’m still processing that shit. I watched them all get zapped bro. This game fucks you up.
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nothing better than a freshly rolled joint to start the day ❤️
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Some sick bastard hung a full grand piano above my door & it fell on my fucking head. Needless to say it squished me. My teeth look like piano keys now and the paramedics had to use a bicycle pump to inflate me back to normal size. I can’t take it anymore. This shit needs to end.
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ran into sssniperwolf at spirit halloween today and she’s even nicer in person :’)
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You call it chronic depression I call it having that dawg in me
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To the person that unfollowed me.. I see you..... you can’t run forever 😈
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Now, let’s say, hypothetically, shorty had them apple bottom jeans. And, for the sake of the argument, the boots with the fur. She’d theoretically have the whole club looking at her. If she hits the floor, next thing you’d know... shorty would have gotten low.
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Imagine a world where shawty wasn’t like a melody in our heads
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Some asshole painted a fake tunnel on a brick wall near my house. They fucking got me. Just ran into it going full speed in my car.
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Imagine being a tree growing for like 100 years, strong as fuck, just to be cut down and made into a hentai book
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this family guy shit not a game man I’m out here in quahog fr 💯
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Just took a walk and saw a coyote get crushed by a falling anvil. A fucking acme anvil. Poor bastards teeth looked like piano keys. What the hell happened to this country?
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I be giggling n shit when my boys text me, some times a lil fart come out cuz I get excited lol
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I just went to hooters and there aren’t even any fuckign owls there im never going back again
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im watching tom & jerry bawling my fucking eyes out.. why must two of God’s beautiful creations constantly be at war with eachother … we must end this madness brothers …
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some 4 foot tall duck just came up to my lemonade stand and, get this- asked if I sold grapes. i told him i didn’t have any and that he was welcome to try the lemonade but he just waddled away. doubt he’ll be back any time soon lmao. moron
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i’m ready for you, you jolly bastard.
BREAKING NEWS: Tracking Center has CONFIRMED that
#Santa
has LEFT the North Pole! Stay tuned for his projected route.
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Papa John’s is giving away this massive chair that can drive around and hold pizza. They say you have to post something epic in order to win. Here is my submission.
#epicstuffs
#sweepstakes
@PapaJohns
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how cockroaches be looking up at you after you hit em with that dollar store bug spray
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never inviting charlie brown to the function again bro wtf is this
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Yes, it’s true. I was the one that leaked the gta 6 trailer… I’m pretty sure the police are on the way but I’m ready for them 😎
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No Shit September has begun. I am 14 hours in. I Will Not Falter.
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tf wrong w my dog bruh im bout to take his ass back to the shelter ☠️
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I have officially been on Ellen along with ryan and jackson. This is not a joke. We’ve made it, everyone.
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conquering every traumatic moment in my life by calling it a “family guy moment” and saying what the deuce
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You know what.. fuck it.... I’m gonna say it..... coronavirus is not epic.
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Guys Cartoon Network just switched to adult swim and family guy is coming on but I can’t find the remote to turn it off what do I do my mom iscomifng I cant stop shaking
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Today instead of staying inside I decided to take a hike deep in nature... I cleared my mind, took in some gorgeous views and even connected with some of the wild creatures.... nature is healing ❤️
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guys i googled “boobs” on my moms computer and i don’t know how to erase the history I’m shdjaking please help me shes on her way home from work i cant stop cyryig
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Taught myself how to levitate cuz I can’t stand these bitches 💯
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You think Gordon Ramsay ever just says fuck it and microwaves a hot dog
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