Noah ✵
@noahdonotcare
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852
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Joined January 2022
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“I was born in 2007” sounds fake af nobody is born that late bro
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my sleeping schedule isn't even a schedule anymore it's a freestyle
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whoever normalized $120 hoodies n $80 sweatpants needs to be jumped
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y’all made fun of plankton on spongebob for dating a computer and look at y’all now 💀
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i accidentally said “big” instead of “grande��� at starbucks n they took me behind the store n shot me in my leg
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who tf decided it was called “emotional baggage“ and not “griefcase” ???
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people who refuse to download TikTok be thinking they got a PhD in maturity
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girls play GTA jus to drive around and hit random pedestrians
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WALMART is giving out FREE supplies to anyone who can outrun the security
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i will restart the entire song if u talk over my favorite part
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i will restart the entire song if u talk over my favorite part
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i feel like if the avengers were real we’d all really really hate them
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i hate when people wait in the chat as u type… mf can i get some privacy??
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*opens eyes at 9 am*
me: i can't wait to go to sleep tonight
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iPhone photos will make a lil movie of the saddest month of your life without permission
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“what does your tattoo mean” i had money and nobody stopped me
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she FINALLY texted me after 12 hours now ima make her wait 40 seconds 😭
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GTA police so realistic they don’t even ask questions they just start shooting
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me: finally getting eight hours of sleep
my neck: yeah but u did it wrong lol
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my girl can wear whatever she want cause im scared of her
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date idea: fight another couple to see how strong your bond really is
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netflix has the worst movies bro no wonder people just start fucking 😭
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“what does your tattoo mean” i had money and nobody stopped me
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"she's a ho"
ok and???
ho + me = home
we buiIding over here
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told her i’d show her the world and my card got declined at mcdonalds
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Fake laughing at work is exhausting af, just leave me alone bro 😭
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y’all ever laughed during a test bc you ain’t have a clue what was going on 😭
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high school football players were really like “i’m gonna win this game for you baby” and then would lose 65-7
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my girl can wear whatever she want cause im scared of her
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how did criminals even get caught in the 1800’s, i could’ve pulled historical numbers
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dating me is like: “u said u like this so i got it for u”
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Can we all agree that this is definitely the best position for sleeping
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Who tf falls in love in 2 months? it takes me an hour or two
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i skip test questions like i’m gonna be a different person when i go back
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girls be dry af replying “hmmm” or “mhmm” bitch i ain’t know i was texting kid cudi
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i don’t even remember bein a baby i jus woke up one day and i was 5
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got arrested at a dababy concert they searched my bag and found 20 tomatoes
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i used to draw tf outta the sun in the corner of the paper when i was a kid
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if my girl was cold i’d pull the sun in closer with my bare hands fr
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being up late isn't even fun anymore bro that shit just pisses me off
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rappers: she a hoe
kendrick lamar: her name hope but the p is siIent on the weekends
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dating me is like: “u said u like this so i got it for u”
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mfs used to play hide n seek and be like “bro i’m not even playing” after getting caught like bro tf is u doing under the car then
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Controversial opinion: the night before a day off is better than the actual day itself
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