Sometimes I want to bite a crayon just to see what all the fuss is about.

I’ve heard a lot of bear stories living in Northern New Hampshire. None quite as crazy as the one I heard today from RFK Jr.

By the time the Celtics adjust to playing real playoff basketball the Mavs are gonna be up 3-1.

You think you’re having a bad day my three year old didn’t get to press the buttons on the washing machine.

If you’re not watching the Pastrnak replay on a loop today are you really a New Englander?

Having toddlers is like that scene in the horror movie where the killer quickly runs across the screen. Except that person is scream laughing and you have to go take care of them.

How do you say “sack” in German? Asking for Mac Jones.

Don’t forget to turn your clocks back tonight, to a time when the Patriots were playoff contenders.

@new_england_dad has me cracking up today with these ! 😂🤣😂🤣 #newenglandboy #RhodeIsland

Need water

No one told me how many rules my toddler would have for me.

I’d have to ask the Irwins but I’m willing to bet changing a swimmy diaper and wrestling a crocodile are interchangeable skills.

Me: Hey what do you guys want for dinner? 4: …poo poo 2: 💀💀💀

You know you’re tired when you just sit down on some random object in your house.

My kids call Lebanon New Hampshire “going to the city” if you’re wondering how rural we are.

My toddler is calling his stuffed hippo a rainbow so that will be the new name for hippopotamuses in our family.

At this point my body has evolved to sleep on my children’s floor.

Is it bad that when my kids are arguing over a toy I have the urge to tell them to just fight til the death?

General rule of thumb, if I don’t know you don’t touch my kid.

If you’re going to be weird enough to touch my kids head because they’re in your way of something I’m going to be awkward enough to remove your hand from my kids body.

This is a perfect playground dada! There’s nobody here!