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@nandiniv
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My husband and I are cooped in one room working (don't ask). He is throwing peanuts at me and going: "kadalai podaren." Working from home is going great for sure.
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For a country that pees on the streets, spits everywhere, disrupts traffic for random fights, that rapes women ever so casually, that litters our cities, our parks, our playgrounds so rampantly, we are very concerned abt damage to public property and life.
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Today, my son and I decided to have an adventure. We decided he'd cycle to his football field, around 2.5 kms from our house. I ran/walked with him. He can't cycle yet, but does it well with training wheels. Wanted to teach him road etiquette. Everything was going well until...
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Suddenly the transport ministry is running under loss, suddenly women are considered wealthy. Suddenly empathy is a big word.
All because women get to travel free in buses. Lol, everytime women step out, I think it creates a wave of insecurity. I love it. I am here for it.
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We have always spoken openly about adoption with our son. Today was yet another day when he wanted to hear the story of how he came home. We add details to the story with each passing year as he grows up. But no lies.
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6 years ago, today, we waited impatiently to see our baby. The baby was brought to us, all in yellow. For some reason, I didn't love forward to hold him. I was very awkward + filling up forms. My husband reached out and held him for the first time.
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"You are a Twitter handle of a movie character with a spelling mistake. "
I rarely engage with this person QTed here, but boy, did I need this shot of joy today. Great Friday start.
Live with that insecurity. Breathe in. Breathe out. Women aren't taking random crap lying down.
Not surprised your fragile ego takes a hit over someone making money, or having a successful career.
I and my career, my work, will continue to exist despite Twitter or X or Y. The same cannot be said of you.
Long after you and I are gone - a lot my songs, I daresay with all…
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I totally get now how women and men meet each other at weddings. N.Indian weddings are set up for this. So much dance practice, so much coliving in a hotel kinda space. No such opportunities in South Indian weddings no?
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Not a single tweet from Amit Malviya (handles BJP communications, so yes he better be communicating) in the last 24 hours is even an RT of help. Every single tweet is about BJP and attacking the opposition. Every. Single. One.
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Trying to get my son to sleep on his own in his room on his bed. Everyday he tries to sleep with us. Today's excuse: I love your room because it has my favourite soft toys. Me: take them and go.
Him: <fake shy smile> One of my favourite soft toys is you.
I am a sucker.
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It is a Monday, my son has asked his profound question of the week. "Amma, why are we always rushing? When can we sit and relax? There is school, homework, karate, and so much. Then college, work. When can we play?"
Like good parents, we have shifted focus to finishing his milk.
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The next time we ask why we have a billion people and that doesn't show in our medal tally, this should be a reminder. We don't deserve our sportspeople.
A country whose priority is to build a Ram temple is not a country for women.
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After 15 yrs of marriage, in-laws watch me indulgently, but carefully as I single-handedly eat a mango a day. I literally get home, take out a mango, decide if I want to rip it apart, bite into and suck the seed or, if I want it lovingly cut into cubes like my dad'd do it for me.
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I am bawling loudly. I walked in today after a super long day, angry that I had missed my workout and he immediately noticed my mood and went: "Time for a hug! Hope it was a wonderful day at the office."
I had to look and feel better before he said...
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Today is the day we first saw my son, and we brought him home 19 days later <3
Wait, am crying. We are telling him how he smiled when he saw us and chose to come home with us. And he asked us who all waited at the airport.
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Best part of it all is watching all the scientists, all the folks who worked on Chandrayaan (underpaid in India, basic Sciences, sigh) watching and celebrating, possibly, their entire life's work come together. I say this as the partner of a Scientist.
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Long thread: I leave early to go to the gym and then the office, so lately, I hardly see my son in the mornings. And that was our time all these days. Today is a Saturday, and I got to laze a little on the bed with him.
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Happy birthday to the most secure partner, the most involved parent, primary caretaker, most hilarious scientist (not!) and the most frustratingly fit person in my life.
What would I do without you <3
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My mum is totally awesome. To a newly married couple visiting us where the guy doesn't do much but is supportive (classic desi guy) - "you don't cook or clean?" Him - "I help." Amma-"achcha. The house doesn't run with just help na? Like at work, you should show initiative." ROFL!
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If I could, I would bring 10 more kids home. I highly, highly recommend adoption as a process to bring a child home. It is hard, bureaucratic and a long wait but the joy at the end of it is incredible.
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Can't ask for a sanitary pad, can't work in peace for our own financial independence, can't stay at home because we will be stifled, abused, beaten, can't be ourselves, can't wear what we want, can't think cynically about men because 'not all men,' lol.
WHAT CAN WE DO?
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Bought my son a soap making kit. One of the soap moulds is a unicorn. His cousin/my niece loves unicorns. W/ this in mind, he said, girls love unicorns. My husb, slightly miffed at this, immediately said: "all the boys amma works with also like unicorns. They only work for that."
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Two (women) founders building something together. One got married a day or two before we sent a term sheet. One got engaged a month after signing the term sheet. We can marry, have babies, raise them, all the while building our dreams out.
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Maybe this is PDA, but I do this rarely. But nothing beats coming home to food cooked for you - depending on your diet/mood etc and my husband has been doing that every single day since we got married. On days like today, I feel immensely loved and cherished.
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I'm not an emotional parent, but after we brought our son home, when I read about/watch kids in the foster system/remand home, I end up crying all night thinking of how it could have happened to him.
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When will the shaven clean or max, stubble era for men start? So tired of bearded men - all looking the same.
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We
@antlerglobal
India have some exciting news to share today. But before that, a little background. We have spoken to over 6000+ founders in the last one year since we launched. One thing became very clear - founders are getting bolder and bolder. (1/13)
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I think the PM should make a 'surprise' announcement and ask all the men to stay indoors. Like Demenitization of our surroundings.
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I am okay. Safe. I will be safe. But I know a bunch of young girls walk to school on this route. I know a lot of women who aren't half as privileged as me who face this everyday. I wish we didn't have to. Over and out.
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I woke up to my dad bringing me fresh watermelon juice + cut watermelon, because during the weekend, I casually told them that I hardly bought it anymore because of the work involved. My parents and their love makes me bawl.
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My son is part of a gang in his football coaching. They are 3 boys and a girl. They play with each other and every Sat/Sun, each one takes a turn to invite the others home for bfast and playing in their home for a couple of hours. It is beautiful to watch their blooming bond.
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Men are truly trash. I am standing on the divider to cross the road and a driver of a water tanker spat on my face and drive away while every other man around laughed. Fuck you guys.
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He came back a little far off. I caught him slowly coming towards us. Thankfully, the street was full of walkers and he didn't follow me after a point. I didn't need this. Women aren't your playthings. Boiling mad.
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In a scene that has repeated again and again in our lives, my husband cried as we both watched this baby gurgle and laugh at our faces.
I don't think I love anyone else as fiercely. Maybe my parents, but this one has upended my life & personality like nothing else has.
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My son took his first flight today and it was an exciting moment for all of us. Except the passengers of our flight. My son took my phone, switched on the camera and went on travel influencer mode. I am shook. We have never done it. He has not seen any Insta reels.
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If my son wasn't with me, I would have run after that guy. I have done it in the past and I have learned that in adrenaline and anger, I react physically and my strength belies my fitness. Give us space, effing predators. I spent the rest of the walk constantly looking behind.
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My son recently declared: "Oh Amma, I realised something. You are a mango fan."
Yessir. That I am. The season's ending. I'm panicking, slightly, tbh. Did I do justice? Or, was I consumed by work and didn't really 'enjoy' my mangoes?
Yet another mango season passes by. Sigh.
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My son & his friends, 2 other boys are home. I was painting my nails and my son asked if I could do the same for him and his friends. One kid was enthu, the other said he wasn't a girl. I thought it was beautiful that my son and the other kid said to this reluctant kid this:
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Happy New Year, everyone! Hope this year is filled with everything you love, much like this video is, for me. Here's to all us finding wonder.
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My baby sis turned 31 today and hasn't been a baby forever. Especially now when she is posted in the Covid ward at the hospital she works at. We asked her if she wanted to come back home (her fellowship stint is technically over). She said, if I don't step up now, then when? <3
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Leaving for a trip, so I hugged my son goodbye and told him there was a surprise for him today (my in-laws are coming home and it is the surprise). He loves them to death. But he said he will miss me more than he will enjoy the surprise <3
Now I am crying sitting in the cab.
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So we bought my son a magnifying glass thinking he will find some insects to watch. Umm, nope. Our man is looking at all the old photos and videos to identify toys and asking where they were now.
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That my son is just like his dad/my husband is something I should accept now.
"Amma, I'm going to wish my football coach 'happy new year and tell him that my goal this year is to hit more goals." *laughing loudly at his joke*
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Met a friend who is quitting a toxic workplace today & I realise we optimise so much for founder smarts, pedigree, their idea, their bias to action that we don't check on their org building skills, feedback skills (lol, some can't do 101) and we are stuck with jerks.
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The cab driver who dropped me home that night called to say he found my Kindle. He told me "phone-u illa, tablet illa. Yen idhu, ishtu santosha padTheera maydum?"
Now waiting for him to reach some point so I can get it Dunzoed.
I declare this the best weekend ever.
My Kindle is lost and I am bereft, I won't lie. I gifted myself this Kindle after my graduation as a gift for getting out of depression of 2 years, and for getting thru grad school (one of the oldest in class that time).
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Don't know what is in store during his teens, but now with a little.kid on the cusp of turning 6, this is momentous and we couldn't be luckier. And we couldn't feel more loved or prouder of how he seems to handle his emotions.
I live for these conversations.
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My son recently travelled with a family member in a car with a sun roof and latest features (compared to our 10 yr old i20) including being a 'talking car' and 'self driving' car with a tv and mike. As he was explaining this, I knew I had to act surprised.
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A guy on a bike decided to slap my butt as I walked behind/next to my son. I walk swinging my hands, so my hand hit his and I yelled in anger and pain. It was fucking humiliating. My son stopped and yelled too, in panic. He didn't know why.
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My mother in law and I have coffee every morning. And she asks me the same question. "Funded anyone new yesterday?"
Me: umm no.
Then she opens her phone like some Rolodex and goes, "I remember these two boys from school..."
She retired as a high school Maths teacher :)
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We have hired a person who reads between meetings, at lunch or whenever she gets 15 mins of time. Of course she gets this time because she's joined us today. But I totally endorse this behaviour in every way.
#antlerindiastories
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Launching The Antler India Residency, the country’s most exclusive platform for aspiring founders to find their co-founder and kickstart their entrepreneurial journey. Read on to know more.
@AntlerIndia
@AntlerGlobal
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Sometimes, my dog doesn't eat at the 'right' time according to my mother in law. Today is one such day.
She comes close to her ears (Lucy is sleeping): Lucy kanna, are you not hungry? How will you become strong? Sollu? Lucy?
My father in law: Tamil le solli paaru.
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I give up. My husband has succeeded.
My son asked for ice cubes. I gave him one. He wanted one more. He asked for it like this.
"I want another ice because I have two eyes."
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I feel like I failed her. Some day I will tell my son how loved he was, and still is. And how lucky we got. I rarely evangelise these choices we made, in public. Today, I want to. If you have the privilege, consider adopting a baby.
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The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. My son wants to cycle far to eat idli-dosae to celebrate the start of his summer holidays.
Some things make you smile and weep and this is right up there.
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Overheard:
My husband to my son: "There is no such thing that girls can't do."
Me *thrilled* - what is this about?
My husband: "He was asking me why he hadn't seen any girl having a moustache. I was telling him they can, too."
My son to me: "Amma, pls get one and show me."
🙄
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Not my dad asking me at 8.30 pm if he can pick me up considering the rains. Also not my husband who said: "hope you find your way home. It is pouring. Going to bed with the door unlocked."
🥲
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Recovering from this Covid makes me feel like am always going to be sick. After every call, I need to take a 20 min breather to just sit and brace myself with the exhaustion. Some folks don't have a choice but to get back to work. Stop romanticizing this shit.
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If nothing, I have a son with an excellent sense of humour (didn't luck out on bosses, friends, family or husband in this regard) and a remarkable EQ. Now to protect it with all my life.
And figure out how I can spend more time with him <3
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You know the other thing that thrills me about this Chandrayaan launch? The women involved, of course.
But most 'women achievers' on magazine covers/shows show women dressed in suits, muted colours - dressed like men because success in many ways means be like a man.
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Swiggying food for office but sending it mistakenly to the co-founder's home and then getting it Dunzoed by her partner to the co-working space we are at is the new
#peakbengaluru
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Right now, my son is rubbing two pencils to create a fire to put under my bed so there will be a boom noise. And then he will bring an ambulance to save me if I'm hurt. Because it's so much funnnn.
Exciting Times (way more than that overrated book I tried reading)
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My son has been unwell & hasn't gone to his football this weekend. They are a gang of 4 that adore each other. Those kids missed him and today, they are on a video call with him showing him what they all do regularly after football - explore the area around.
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Very unpopular opinion: if you move to Blore/K'nataka and insist on finding schools for your kids that don't teach Kannada - it is unfair. I get that it is harder for the older kids/you and I would still advocate trying. But requests like this for 3-5 year olds is plain wrong.
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At my son's karate class. One little girl (~4 yrs old) is practicing her moves on her own. Her face, her moves - every single thing shows so much aggression and focus. Watching her face is mesmerising. These girls will rule the world, mark my words.
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My uber driver got a call from his wife who is expecting that she started having labour pains. I was so emotional when he kept talking to her, telling her not to worry while dropping me off at a spot where I can get q cab again. These little incidents make my day <3
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Newly married in a country hit suddenly by recession, lost job offer - depression - back to grad school - a satisfying job - 2 ectopic pregnancies - bringing my son home - starting up -> self awareness, learning that friends are forever + fam means a lot more than I will admit.
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A lot of parents ask me why I am honest with him. There is no other way I'd be. We don't know how to do this in any other way. Our honesty has helped him, we can sense. He feels very loved and really enjoys hearing about how all of waited for him. He refers to himself as adopted.
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Just remembered the time I raised my hand in a Google All Hands meeting (first job at the Hyd office) and told Sheryl Sandberg that I thought the OLPC idea was 'stupid' because men will sell it for alcohol or beat their wives with it.
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Nothing has changed with the average auto driver in Bangalore over the years. Today, I booked one through app 1 and another person from my building booked one through app 2. We were both waiting and we realise the same auto driver has been assigned to both of us.
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Seriously. What point is all that 'subsidised' education, all the startups you build or all the fancy-ass companies you earn in crores from, when you can't read, think, apply basic thoughtfulness to public policy and governance?
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Apparently, Falguni Nayar's individual net worth is $6.5B. Yesss! LEADING THE WAY FOR WOMEN UP THERE. This just feels like the beginning. Personally, this has been such a fuck yeah moment for me. I don't even use Nykaa much, didn't really follow their journey much. So inspired!
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I woke up after a blissful 8 hr sleep with my son next to me who also opened his eyes at the same time. Before I said anything, he said, "Amma, I don't like you."
I was slightly taken aback until he continued after a pause.
"I love you."
Is this a phase? I hope it never ends.
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My mum (we are 3 daughters with varying personalities/ attitudes & careers) said something once: We have moved forward with our girls or at least forced to move, men and their parents haven't. Being girls' parents makes you move forward as girls move forward w/ every generation.
College student stabbed to death inside Bengaluru campus, killer stabs himself. Layasmitha joins a long list of young women killed this way. She came from Kolar to study.
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So this happened and it has been yet another instance of learning how we reach out girls to look out for themselves while boys can do anything. Hear me out.
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My son has been so angry/rude lately that it viscerally hurts. But sometimes, he says things like this: "Amma, can 3 ppl marry at the same time?"
Me: "Umm...you can decide this when you turn older."
Him: "Because you are already married to Appa & I want to marry you. So I asked."
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"heyyy, boys can also do this. In my class, there is a boy w/ long hair. And girls with short hair. My (girl)friend showed me Elsa. I liked it. So I think we are same." The other kid backed mine with his own examples.
Very proud of myself, lol, for not immediately intervening :D
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Today, one of my interns who's moving out got an offer to work in an up and coming startup. Day is made <3
I gave him all the advice I wish I'd gotten earlier in my career and I wish I applied in my own career, lol
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Came home last evening to have my son show me his school work. Apart a whole bunch of art that required me to put in effort to go, 'wow,' he mentioned that there was one other thing that was his most favourite piece of work. I expected a drawing of a car or truck.
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I had such a moment just now. Sitting on the bed reading, my son comes and puts his head on my lap. And watches the rain. I say, hey Abhay, and he turns his head, smiles and goes back to watching the rain.
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I've spoken about this in the past, but today was the first time we saw our little son 4 years ago :) I watched him tense about the paperwork and the ensuring medical tests while my husband bawled holding him. My son smiled beatifically watching our faces. (1/2)
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2 yrs ago, if someone had told me I'd be talking to early stage founders and helping them, I'd have laughed it off. Today,
@leapdotclub
identified me as a champion in VC (haha, my self deprecation senses are on high alert!) And for once, for once in my career, I'm chuffed.
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When people say don't make it a feminist issue, it rankles me. If it is an issue that affects me as a woman, my self worth and my identity, it bloody well makes that a feminist issue. And personal is political.
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Such days make me question my long work days but it also pushes me to do more and more. Zero guilt and only a deep sense of love and being cared for, by a 6.5 yo.
All of us need this validation and love and I have it right here in a tiny human form.
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Now explaining venture capital to my scientist husband. And gender stereotypes to my son. Allow me my entire life.
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There is this food blogger on Insta who I don't follow, but she has been coming up on my feed. Very Delhi middle class homemaker feels. Shows lunch dabbas/what she cooks for her husband etc. and typical ghar ka khana.
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Skip the thread. PDA time! This is my husband and he has written for 100 weeks for a newspaper on his food trails. He is awesome because he does this along with being the primary caretaker of our child + handles *everything* domestic & his intense work.
I began as an attempt to combine my love for running & my love for Bangalore's thindi. Thank you
@HT_Ed
for the opportunity to share the experience with more people. Today, the column is 100 weeks old :)
#RunForThindi
Take favourite Davangere Benne DosE.
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"Amma, you look perfect the way you are." I know this comes from him listening to me tell others in our life, this. Esp the women. But he figured it out!
Now he has gone to bed after giving me this.
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Not my husband sending me a Porter delivery (of my charger that I left at home) with my contact saved as 'Hendathi.' Imagine the poor guy's plight when he had to call and ask for 'Hendathi.'
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Feeling like a tech-bro. Waking up early, exercising, eating healthy (not showing on body yet, but compounding+consistency & all that jazz), most things at wk under control, loving r/ship w/ husb, reading to son, amicable relationship w/ both parentals.
What's going on? Worried
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In other news, at a traditional family function when my husband who held my son brought him close to me for me to kiss him (my son), my son moved away and I ended up kissing my husband in front of 100 other ppl. Never losing an opportunity.
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I want to maniacally laugh. And throw something in rage. Gosh, I speak to IIT and IIM folks day in and day out. A little EQ and empathy will go a long way in understanding ripple effects of a move like this. Don't need an effing Humanities degree for this.
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My son has learned to say Madam avre. Don't know from where. It is hilarious when he uses it with me. Me: "pick up the laundry." He: noooo (yells) Madam avre.
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There is something so joyous about women celebrating. Little girls with pigtails running to school early in the morning, women speaking up in class/office/on the streets, women catching up with each other (have you seen this?), women winning everywhere inspite of everything.
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I am trying really hard not to react to triggers here. But did this person (of the day, really!) just call free bus travel for women as 'gender discrimination?'
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