The Muffin Man
@mustyGstring
Followers
176
Following
4K
Media
342
Statuses
2K
Stadium pulse. Time to step up in the pocket and deliver a dart.
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@BMunch18 Something about a fishing trip, just the two of us. I of course obliged as I love the woods of Northern Canada.
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Right up the gut, Fullback on the first hat, make a move on the safety, touchdown. #runTheDamnBall
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Started cramping at mile 13 and it only got worse but we did it
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Jae'Lyn Withers better start learning produce codes buddy!
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@jamesrichterII @tykingdomburner James,. I prescribe you with sexual Intercourse. Try it out and report back. -muff.
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Mulched all morning and ran back home to get ready to coach our 4th game. Wrapping up the phone call w mom and forgot to reverse after straightening out the park job. $130 mulching.-$145 Tow and ticket . Net on the day: -$15
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Master of my craft. (piss while flushing for max epissiency).
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Why focus on foreign affairs when we have so much domestic disturbance?. (Why go to class when we have hella laundry to do and huzz sliding later).
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(Probably) my 8th Grade phone searches: . - how to get unlimited gems clash of clans.- Madden mobile sniping bot tutorial .- Kate Upton boobs nude uncensored.- Clash Royale best trophy push deck.
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Jay Wando I will be getting banned for life from your bar this semester.
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8 eras of Christmas music will go head to head. #ChristmasMadness Tournament started TODAY . VOTE for the best Christmas song of all time.
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Top 5 best feelings:.1. Crossed with a Zyn.2. Crossed.3. High.4. Drunk.5. Long term gratification.
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Hey, Hey, Hey!. While you’ve been getting down and out about the string of questionable decisions you’ve made to end up at this mediocre point in your life, you could’ve been getting down to…. THIS. SICK . BEAT!. 👏. 👏. 👏.
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Best part about being a computer science student is knowing at the end of the road awaits the sweet release brought by death.
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I got shooters (me n my boys will team up on your ass in 4 square you are so fucked this will be your worst recess ever).
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The Muffin Man endorses Braelon Allen as a presidential candidate
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Now that our college football players are being paid with my tuition there’s no validity in the “they’re just kids, relax” argument when I’m sending them death threats after they play like the school for the deaf and blind.
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Semester 9 here I come !.
9/10 times I fail this algorithms exam. But today anything is possible.
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If you vote me president I will make recess 20 minutes longer.
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Psychology -> Computer Science switch Junior Year set to be DONE in Four years FWM 🥷s
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Just scrolled Instagram reels for an hour, swiped out cuz I got bored, and instantly clicked Instagram again hahaha I should stuff a shirt in my exhaust pipe.
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Papa John ain’t the hero we doughserve, but the hero we knead.
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@FinnKalu Suzie try not to tweet about ovulating when ovulating/reminiscing during pms challenge (impossible).
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I’m a machine that you give coffee and i give you hyper focused procrastination.
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Remember that if you have a grease fire only put it out by dousing it in water.
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Me as a barber:. “Let me get a low fade taper”. “Taper?? Hardly know her!”. *shoots me*.
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A shared sorrow is a half sorrow but a shared joy is a double joy.
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How I watch when my letting off the brake makes you run through the crosswalk
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9/10 times I fail this algorithms exam. But today anything is possible.
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perfect product for a clear conscience frat house, beat every case !
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“Did you watch any of the Democratic National Convention?”. “What?”. “Kamalapalooza”. “Oh, yea, shoulda just said that”.
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It’s all fun and games eating spicy but shit gets real out the other end.
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Going deep with a Miner 👍🏽😁⛏️. Going deep with a Minor 👎🏼🤬🚔.
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So many future CEOs in the BV and I have dirt on everyone.
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2 burgers $44 dollars at five guys and you have the audacity to turn the screen for a tip.
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I bring a “where the fuck am I, what the fuck is going on” type of vibe to the function.
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Jack and Annie’s magic treehouse but they give everyone in the past Covid and they all fucking die.
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Two balloons filled with cigarette smoke on one of these bad boys
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translation:.Lol = thought about laughing.lmao = blew air out my nose.Lollll = smile .LMFAOOOO = 1 actual laugh + big smile .😹 = fuck you.
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Plan B(are minimum) has succeeded. ACT is a shitty predictior
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Just dropped a 15 minute deuce after playing brawl stars for 2 hours all while on the clock am I the #goat ?.
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Nervous for your math test? Drink a beer. Nervous for your drivers test? Drink 10.
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Johnny Sins Marathon Performance today (definitely not finishing first, hopefully finishing at some point).
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I'm asking the BV for some artificial boosting on the #ChristmasSongMadnessVote hashtag to boom this tourney . Speculation if you will.
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@calvjohnjr_tyb Drake talking to the movie screen in the front row of the theater: I got my eyes on you, you’re everything that I see.
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There’s gotta be some kind of biological britta in the future cuz my kidneys be working hella and my filters haven’t needed changing at all.
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I be telling everyone get a burner it’ll change your life. Fuck em.
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kidnapping someone just for an excuse to make a cute lil ransom note.
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Ok time to study…. Whoops! Accidentally won my 14th retro bowl in 24 seasons !.
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