The combination of #eurocarparts and #dpd couriers generates the same outcome as eating a large lamb phal laced with laxative. "Premium delivery" = order on Monday, get part delivery on Thursday. Fuck knows when the rest will arrive. @LKQEuroCarParts #cameronsbritain

Reef tonight in Margate were soooooo good! A glorious intimate show at Dreamland - personal, happy vibe and proper rockin'!

Have you seen our new campaign about HGVs? We're encouraging road users to stay out of the areas where HGV drivers have limited visibility. HGVs make up 9% of the strategic road network and are essential to keep the economy running. ▶️ https://t.co/apviNbMSKj #KnowTheZones

An evening spent listening to Michael Palin in Faversham. Top chap. Part of @FavershamLit

I feel like I'm finally free from the cartel. Series 4 ep 14 done.

I still can't believe they killed James Bond.

Just called the docs surgery for the first time in about 3 years. Holy moly what a change! If you don't have an internet at home you are well and truly alone, left for dead.

Back to see what the hell you lot have been up to during my absence, you slackers!

Hi @C4Sport I know you crazy kids were just gearing up to reply butbhy don't fret, the show was available from yesterday. Thanks for all your support 👍👍 PS I don't think there are quite enough adverts during the F1 shows. I reckon another thirty would be fine 😎😘 #f1

Hi @C4Sport - please help out with this tweet. When will you be releasing the Miami GP for viewing on 4od?

How long do us plebs have to wait for the Miami GP to appear on 4od?? @C4F1 @Channel4

Please stop this destructive and senseless project @clevehillsolar . Nobody wants your poxy solar farm, the thousands of gallons of cement, unknown toxins from batteries or scarring from fire. Leave our land in peace. @FavershamLabour @favershamtc #bloodonyourhands

Thank you to @BBC6Music for the rich and diverse mix of music from the fabulous @cerysmatthews As a clarinet player myself the earlier section this morning was glorious. No play time for me - I'm building a kitchen so we can all escape 'building site living' 😎 Merry Sunday!

Hello world. Alexa just played an hour of the most perfect 90s rock - does anyone know how I can get that tracklist?????

.@Se_Railway @nationalrailenq Tree just down in past 30mins @ FAV but off tracks for now.

New Monday New Job. Farewell dark days, welcome the light.

Need help ending my @TalkTalk services. Moving home and no longer need this. Predictably impossible to just close my account online ffs.

I will not tweet anything about F1 today.

Thanks to the Mum and teen lads who helped me drag a fallen tree out of the road tonight. Couldn't have made it to school pickup without your help 👍😍😎 #tenham #lowerroad #stormbarra

Does anyone know how to set The Twits up so you only see actual tweets from peeps you follow and not all the other recycled crap too? #ithelpdesk #settings #barrageofshoite