mnh06051985
@mnh06051985
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21↑┊細胞神曲┊ﾊﾂﾄﾘ𝑩𝑰𝑮𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬 ୨୧ 宇初 ୨୧ 植木鉢 ୨୧ 狱四（🔄❌ ღ 🖋️❄️🌟┊ ♡❄️🌟♡ ┊🖋️🌟┊🕊️🕊️）
Joined January 2026
i started out trying to make faithful recreations... and then the demons got me
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sth interesting to me in a general sense is that before ht decided group death was the answer in 1999, he'd been hallucinating his guilt / demons for at least 14 years. when hrk meets him in the basement, that's another 16 years of being alone with his visions.
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something something you have to get through it yourself but you don't have to do it alone something something
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i suppose it is intentional that hrk is unable to achieve true self understanding if he loses anyone... he even reneges the one "unavoidable" loss (reiji) so he loses nobody at all. very opposite of ht. chews on this thought
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he just didn't learn to care for & rely on himself the way hrk ultimately did when his usual pillars of support weren't able to support him bc ut and hrd were going thru their own mental health crises. to be fair also i suppose, ht was also "alone" whereas in s+ hrk has Everyone
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- in any case, ht did try to talk abt his feelings and get help (and he even tried to talk things out with seo when seo was irate/intentionally contrarian)...
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ut's pov would jeopardize ut's role/value - even though ht would still value him)(they both value each other but not themselves unless they can play a specific "role" for each other despite loving e/o regardless)
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suicide aspect and pushed the peaceful dream angle (you're a star!!) (and later went for torture) over self-understanding and acceptance (which is both risky, since he was afraid of ht being a suicide risk, and in
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- from ut's maze + black room it sounds like ht did confide in ut (more than once?) about how he felt about all these things (in addition to ut figuring it out from ht's dialogue/behavior/past history), but ut stressed heavily over the
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- but hrd did not respond to either of those remarks and moved past it (something snmt probably regrets years later as well) and ht didn't force that he wanted help, he just passively accepted it wasn't going to be addressed (at least those two times we see it)
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- we see on screen he talked to hrd at least once about feeling responsible for the enomotos' suicide and how he's plagued by visions, and ht has said he would talk to ut and hrd when he didn't know how to deal with things.
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wait misc thoughts - he also blames himself for noa. he blames himself for the enomotos' suicide And he blames himself for killing seo (i mean he did actually do that one) when it caused noa to break down over it as a child
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