It's been a minute since I logged into twitter, but if some digital archeologist dug up my feed the way I see it now, they'd think I was republican. WTF is this right-wing bullshit being promoted on my feed? Elon, you racist simp, you're numbskull.

We should play a game! MacOs Operating System or Anderson Paak Album...?

I wish Hulu had their own version of “Spotify Wrapped”… Would love to show everyone how many hours of Shark Tank I watched this year.

is it safe to say that you're in your late 40's early 50's if your email address has " https://t.co/flGNYJJloi "?

https://t.co/W5HTgX7MJh

I wanna trust people the same way restaurants trust their patrons. These places feed you, refill your drinks, make modifications to food orders all the while not really knowing if you have enough money to pay for your meal. That’s trust.

Doing a "Preventing Workplace Harassment" training and the videos I have to watch all seem like episodes of The Office that didn't make the cut.

Huge day for Woman's Football. England vs Germany Euro 2022 Final. 90,000 football supporters PACKED into Wembley Stadium. Lots of little girls seeing football role models that look like them! Congrats Lionesses! Euro 2022 Champs!

Just saw The pilot for our flight and he has a bag of Funyuns sticking out of his luggage. No I can’t trust him to get me to STL in one piece.

Everyone: 🎵Happy Birthday to you.🎵 Some random kid: CHA CHA CHA

Is @ErewhonMarket just bottle service for groceries?

Woman at Dodgers Stadium double fisting blue margaritas: I hope I don’t lose my eye lashes by the end of the night.

Is the term “Supply chain issues” the new “Mercury in retrograde”?

Super Bowl Sunday is Pizza and hot wing's "Black Friday".

Script idea for the SAW franchise: story starts at an IKEA on a Saturday. That’s it. That’s the script. Shot like The Blair Witch Project. Pay me the monies.

Taylor Swift’s 10 minute song about Iake Gyllenhaal inspired me to get all my shit back from people I’ve dated. So if we’ve dated and I don’t get my stuff back by Friday I’m dropping a diss track on my SoundCloud. You’ve been warned.

Zuckerberg Right now

if facebook and instagram aren't back up and running soon people 'bout to hire airplanes to fly banners with information on what they're having for lunch.

yo that ring announcer for the McGregor fight... thought he was going to open up the pit.

Seeing Baker Mayfield in a Padre jersey makes me dislike him even more than before! Didn’t even know it was possible