Milla Reed
@milla_reed
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Writing commercial women’s fiction. Rep’d by Shesto Literary. CoHost of The Emergency Chicken podcast. Gardening too.
Oxfordshire
Joined April 2020
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The Emergency Chicken Podcast is out and yes, I’m cohosting. Blogs on the website by Em, endless curiosity and difficult questions from me. A fair bit of laughter too. Please listen and rate 😁
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Anyone going to admit that they’d never heard the word ‘rizz’ before?
'Rizz' has been chosen by
@OxUniPress
as their Word of the Year, beating other words in the shortlist such as 'Swiftie', 'situationship' and 'prompt'.
Read more 👇
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It’s the first time I’ve put wild strawberries in arrangements, but why not?
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Spent the morning up and down the ladder painting the lintels. Decided a smart cottage deserved a summer wreath for the door so I made this.
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Shall I take my wreath in yet? It’s holding up well. Maybe I’ll leave it until Easter.
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Have a trug of lovely tomatoes, peeps. Probably my favourite thing to grow
#gardening
#tomatoes
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Well the 8 tons of eggshells didn’t help the hostess. I reckon the snails climbed the nearby Solomons Seal and then did a Tarzan swing over. So, for the first time, I’ve potted them up. Bring on the new leaves!
#GardeningTwitter
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So,
#gardeningtwitter
, if you buy a plant and the flowers turn out the wrong colour, do you just shrug it off or what? This was supposed to be deep red or blue….
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I have to make a cake just so the youngest can decorate it!
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I’ve stayed at this hotel for work several times before, rooms were fine but unremarkable. This time I’ve got a suite with 4 double beds, 3 sofas and 2 large walk in showers. House party anyone?
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Just sent my WIP to my agent. what do I do now? Make a cup of tea? Start panicking about how much she'll hate it? A spot of gardening? Any other ideas?
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I thought my crocuses were good, but these from a verge I passed today take the biscuit 😁
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@amy_may
In the biscuit tin? I had a friend whose toddler kept saying ‘bikkik’ when they were turning the house upside down looking for the car keys. You can guess the rest.
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@JonnElledge
Train manager today asked me if I wanted a seat when I was squatted up against the luggage rack. Of course I said yes and he made a bloke move his bag. Good to know they're looking out for this.
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I am purportedly in the oldest bar in England (every town has one, don’t they?). I bagged a window seat. For the view, obv.
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Husband wants to take up Wobbly Walk and replace it with smooth steps. This will, of course, happen over my dear body.
#GardeningTwitter
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Once a year my chaise longue comes out of the living room and spends the night under the Bramley tree. Tonight’s the night!
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Husband just went to the supermarket to get milk and petrol for my car.
He took his own car. Sigh.
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Got the neighbours coming round for a cheeky Prosecco or three tonight. May have gone to town a bit…
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(Taps on the door gently, gives it a little push and peers in.) Are most of us still here?
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It’s my balloon day. According to my cards so far I’m special, vintage, amazing, crazy and fabulous. I’ll take that, but I question the crazy!
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@Luca__WFC
My favourite part is ‘must have body definition as I will have soon’. We need to know how soon...
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First lunch this year in the little shelter we grandly call The Pavilion.
#GardeningTwitter
#countryliving
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We paid £1300 to have norovirus together in an air bnb 5 hours drive from home.
Follow me for more tips on how to bring a little romance into your lives.🤢😢
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I can see a man in the clouds with a quiff and a bit of a mullet… Can you see him too?
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@human_evrice
I did come across something on this - sorry I don’t remember the details. It wasn’t narcissism, it was, an ADHD or spectrum thing, and as you say, it was about trying to connect, to show common ground, establish empathy.
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If life is getting you down, you could try giving your head a refreshing dunk in the water while wiggling your bottom in the air. Preferably with a few mates. Seemed to work for these dudes I saw yesterday.
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Husband says we’re walking to the top of this hill today.
AND THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER MARRY A YOUNGER MAN.
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Saying goodbye to Fin today was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. He was the very best and gave us 21 years of loveliness.
#CatsOfTwitter
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Off to the garden centre. What colour lupins do you think the slugs would like to eat this year?
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I never win anything… but tonight I won a hamper at the pub quiz! 😁
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We’ll it’s done. I used loads of gold cones and fruit, most of which seemed buried in the foliage. Ah well, I’ll probably have a tweak every time I come home!
#christmaswreath
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Well hello new chair. I’m expecting great things from you.
Today I will be mainly swivelling.
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I doubt anyone remembers I was concerned that half my old apricot tree had died off when all the leaves fell off one side. Well, it’s all in blossom. Seems there’s life when you think all hope is gone..
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Also snapped this Sempervivum door decoration in Warwick. It was pretty spectacular - well done that florist!
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Hmmm… the peacock feathers aren’t as showy as I’d hoped but otherwise not too shabby.
#Christmas
#christmaswreath
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This has got to be over 20 years old. Half the tiny bulbs were blown AND I FOUND THE RIGHT ONES! took ages, but small victories, eh?
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Typo of the day: Have just written a training programme that requires people to work in pairs or trees.
I think the tree option sounds promising.
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Inspired by a post here, I’ve equipped OH’s Mondrian shower room to save water. He’s going to love it, isn’t he???
#water
#Drought2022
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Anyone need a very little house?don’t think you’d be able to swing your cat though!
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I think the time has come to attempt to type up the contents of mum’s tiny diaries - found them after she died. The writing is barely legible in fountain pen - no doubt I’ll be asking for help working it out!
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We said goodbye to Fin in the summer at the grand age of 21. He left a legacy of many Xmas pics, so they will be coming you're way... Have a cat in wreath for starters!
#notsorry
#christmas
#CatsOfTwitter
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Not the fecking ‘dinner on a chopping board’ again. Next time I’m going to ask for anything that comes on a plate.
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It must be a good day when you find a mystery bottle of Prosecco on your doorstep before 8am….
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@porridgebrain
I got carried away with collage a couple,of months back - all from Country Living magazines...
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More tips from The Domestic Goddess Dept, this time on how to save calories.
Make a huge tray of mushroom and cheese croissants, put them in the oven and answer your messages. By then, they will have burnt to a crisp and can be added to the compost. You’re welcome 🫤.
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@sophielflynn
This is hilarious! Reminds me of when my mum told me she liked a new group called ‘What’s This’. Do you mean ‘Take That’? I asked. Of course she did!
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Sorted! You put the same post on Facebook and your neighbour drops this little haul round. 😁😁😁😂
How do you get chocolate if there’s none in the house and your husband is snoring on your lap?
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Thought I’d try working from the garden so it immediately clouded over. Still, first flags are out 🙂
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Off for a bimble round the Cotswolds because it’s my birthday. If you see a grown woman kicking autumn leaves like a 4 yr old, it’ll be me.
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Today’s response to a literary agent passing - though apparently my writing is ‘very lively and instantly engaging’ - was to take a large glass of port to the greenhouse and watch the sun sink over the garden. I’ll find my match.
#amwriting
#amquerying
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KLAXON ALERT!
Delighted to get my first full manuscript request. A small step, but all successes must be celebrated :-)
#amwriting
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This is Rosie Garlic. Isn’t she pretty? Took me ages to find out her name - and if my stepdaughter marries her bf, she will have the same name!
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I’ve finally found a shop that understands my dietary requirements! 😂😂😂
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The doc is baffled by my 8 weeks of laryngitis. Says its not worth referring me to ENT because they have a 1-2 year waiting list, so he has emailed them for advice. Still there's no sign of underlying nasty stuff so that's something. Am a tad fed up.
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Overheard in a bar last night;
‘All their children’s Lego bricks are white, to match the decor.’
Blimey.
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I put the small pot in the middle. OH has moved it to the left. I’d love to know what most folk would choose.... what would you do?
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@Bodysatnav
I’ll help by putting that extra 800k or whatever it is into my pension pot. Can’t seem to lay my hands on the cash. You’ll lend it to me, won’t you? I’m nearly as much fun as Boris.
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A car just drove past playing 'I would do anything for love' at a zillion decibels. Permitted behaviour, today, methinks.
#MeatLoafRIP
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Apparently if you serve your friend tea from a teapot without a lid, she buys you a new one. What shall I serve next time she comes? Tonic without gin perhaps?
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Damn autocorrect. I have Alpines on my food shopping list. Anyone got any ideas what I meant???
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Ran out and picked a few flowers between rain showers. As you do.
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I HAVE NEWS! Today I have signed with Camilla Shestopal at Shestopal Literary Agency and couldn’t be happier. I know only the
#writingcommunity
will understand what this means… the rest of you will have to take my word for it that getting the right agent is a Big Deal!
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Every year I think my fritillary has died because it’s always 60 million years later that everyone else’s. No sign at all this year… then I found this little darling a couple of metres away!
#gardening
#GardeningTwitter
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I’ve got fairy lights, a fire, red wine, and a whole heap of onion bhajis. Am happy.
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In case anyone missed this first time round, here’s all the advice you need to get through winter.
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I have no idea how my apricot tree survives - it’s nowt but an offshoot of a damaged trunk - but so far so good this year. Lots of blossom to come. 😃
#GardeningTwitter
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There is SO much to do in the garden I think I’d better lie down for an hour and think about where to start…
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Couldn’t resist knocking up a quick wreath just with the beautiful leaves from my smoke bush. I’m hoping they’ll hang on until I get round to an Xmas one!
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What shall I do with my tayberries tweeps? They don’t taste very exciting and I’m uninspired…
#GardeningTwitter
#softfruit
#recipes
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I got back to the car 2 minutes before my parking ticket expired, while there was an inspector checking. You may applaud.
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Well played, Twitter. Love the show, but following the comments on Twitter was priceless. Best laugh I’ve had in weeks!
#Yourhomemadeperfect
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Sam the Scaredy Rescue Cat braves the dangerous territory of the chaise longue. It’s taken a month.
#CatsOfTwitter
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To youngest: Why aren’t you answering your phone?
Her: I’m in Morocco
Me: What are doing there?
Her: Being fabulous
I raised her well.
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Home at last. This is my lovely mince pie plate. OH offered to buy it for me, thinking the tag said 3.99. Turned out it was 23.99 at the checkout. It was my birthday so he couldn’t exactly change his mind!! 😁
#Christmas
#mincepies
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I love the tiny campanula that has grown on my door step. Definitely a rebel!
#GardeningTwitter
#Flowers
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Bought a pressure jet nozzle thingy for my hose. Can’t say it’s given me an even tan.
#amgardening
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My wellies just leaked for the first time. Reader, I have had them since I was a teenager. In better news, at least I managed to make a little posy for a friend
#snowdrops
#GardeningTwitter
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Ok, I’ll tell you. In a couple of months I’ll live 100 metres from a CHEESECAKE SHOP. I never knew such things existed! And I’ll have to see them every time I use the post office. Aargh!!!
Saints alive! Our village Post Office is changing hands. The new owners have to keep the PO open, and have a small shop they can do what they want with. I wouldn’t have guessed in a month of Sundays. Have a guess? I’ll tell you if you’re warm…
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Just nipped out of one neighbour’s wedding to put mother neighbour’s chickens to bed. Now going back to dance my socks off. God I love village life!
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We have survived FishpieGate! (Dish cracked in the freezer). Wired it up and ate round the damage 😁
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I know my remarkable ability to lose secateurs is just stupidity. I still have no idea how we lost the Xmas Swede, but it was outside so maybe a fox ate it. But HOW have we lost a chopping board? I mean, it never leaves the kitchen, does it?
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Good grief!!! Anyone got a canoe with a snow plough on the front of it I can borrow?
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It’s only a smattering, but it’s enough to merit opening the mulled wine tonight. We’ve been saving it for a snowy day ❄️❄️❄️
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