mike’s hard look in the mirror.

i’m a 45 year old woman and my 67 year old third husband groomed me.

you make this birdhouse a birdhome, bro.

i don’t have the shakes i have anxiety, also i need 6 beers pronto.

RT @thehatedworm: pinning my newborn son to the floor with a cinderblock while i go to the store to get more beers.

can our love fill the gaps that words cannot.

ronald reagan i have received your coded message and im whipping a brick as i speak sir.

do you mind if i find joy in the little things like putting a smile on your face or having a spider make it’s home near my front door.

fuck out my face.

RT @mikehunnidproof: she pull that beaver out i’m like dam.

RT @cumweiser: my favorite midwest emo song is i write songs not tragedies.

have you considered booking 30 minutes with michael

and you listen to midwest emo? you are one interesting chica.

this means something to me.

you clock the tea you think you deserve.

PEOPLE GETTING CAUGHT IN 4K! 😭. A thread 🧵. 1. During one of their recent concerts, Coldplay unintentionally exposed an alleged affair between Astronomer CEO Andy Byron & his colleague Kristin Cabot.

RT @iPhone5Cfan: New York’s secret sixth borough: Israel.

ever since i was a little boy i knew i wanted to be a wife.

when captain save a hoe can’t get the job done

there’ll be peace when you are done.