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mike sacks

@michaelbsacks

Followers
11K
Following
21K
Media
9K
Statuses
32K

Writer. Vanity Fair/New Yorker mags. From MD/DC/VA. Author 12 books/audio comedies. 3 NY Times best-sellers. Substack. "Doin' It With Mike Sacks" 'cast. Go O's!

2 PROJECTS OUT IN 2025
Joined May 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@michaelbsacks
mike sacks
22 hours
In above ground jacuzzi, smoking a fat ass strawberry White Owl. Suck my third nut!! It's late fall in Ocean City Maryland!!!!!!!!!!
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@michaelbsacks
mike sacks
1 day
Just met prison bunkmate for first time. Nice enough but apparently not such a huge fan of the little known 1984 sitcom "It's Your Move." Might have our differences here!
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@michaelbsacks
mike sacks
2 days
The absolute perfect piece of currency to tip the stripper in that mobbed-out club just next to the very regional airport off I-95.
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@michaelbsacks
mike sacks
3 days
Used to have sex dreams. Dreamt last night that I couldn’t operate a coin-operated toilet in Philadelphia.
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@michaelbsacks
mike sacks
4 days
In 2014, a friend sent me this photo. It's of Joan Rivers reading my book "Poking a Dead Frog." Wish I had been on the plane, as I was a huge Joan Rivers fan. Still am. Pray this wasn't the last book she ever read. Love her and miss her. The world could use her now.
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@michaelbsacks
mike sacks
4 days
Just checked in to Second Life for the first time in years. My avatar is working minimum wage for Amazon.
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@michaelbsacks
mike sacks
5 days
“Poor Pussy”
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@michaelbsacks
mike sacks
5 days
I visited a sick kid in the hospital today. Will definitely ask permission next time. And will make sure they know me. And I won’t play a guitar. A blow-up party guitar. And sing the Mississippi blues. And pass the hat around after.
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@michaelbsacks
mike sacks
5 days
Up today on my Sub-Sacks https://t.co/BZgbURTE4O
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@michaelbsacks
mike sacks
6 days
Cuomo is free
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@michaelbsacks
mike sacks
6 days
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@michaelbsacks
mike sacks
6 days
Anyone have any giant scissors? The kind they use at ribbon-cutting ceremonies? I want to impress a girl. Thanks!
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@thomasbeller
thomas beller
28 days
Preorder my new book, use E25BELLR for 30% off: https://t.co/SqUX5qDRsY
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@michaelbsacks
mike sacks
7 days
Been out of the dating game a long while, I guess, but do women REALLY no longer like to receive homemade poetry printed out on dot-matrix printers and then hand delivered and secretly slipped beneath their doors without them asking for it?!
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@michaelbsacks
mike sacks
7 days
You know, like how Foster Brooks played a drunk. https://t.co/fuOYSXBShJ
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@michaelbsacks
mike sacks
8 days
Me? Nothing much. Just nude, in my treehouse in Prospect Park, overlooking the long meadow, wondering how it all went so right.
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@michaelbsacks
mike sacks
8 days
STANLAND! Award-winning, five part comedy audio series about a Maryland guy who discovers a Narnia type world and then fucks it up but fast. Starring Rhea Seehorn, Bobby Moynihan, Jon Hamm, John Waters, Timm Sharp, Steve Little, Lauren Adams, Eric Jason Martin, and more. Free!
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@michaelbsacks
mike sacks
8 days
Ladies and gentlemen, my all-time favorite photo caption!
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