Michael Bettendorf
@michaelbettendo
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Accordion Guy playing the Darth Vader theme as I stride menacingly down the hallway in the Powell Street BART station during my morning commute. I feel so badass right now.
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the only thing I want to see on my timeline for the next 33 days is dogs being reunited with their humans.
I hadn’t seen my dog in 6 weeks and for a second I wondered if he would even remember me.
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So that we can collectively set a level playing field, how many “this is the greatest tweet of all time” proclamations should each of us be allowed per week?.
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this seems like pretty legitimate advice from a guy who appears to be taking *all* the pills.
Take the red pill 🌹.
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just received an advance copy of talking points for the next White House briefing
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We magically transformed our living room into an office. You’ll never guess how we did it.
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0️⃣4️⃣2️⃣2️⃣1️⃣9️⃣9️⃣5️⃣ 💍.
Today is my parents’ 25th wedding anniversary and they wanted to visit every place they lived together. From first meeting in the Cal dorms, to their SF apartments, to their first house in Berkeley. love is alive and well in lockdown💛
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If there’s one thing that’s giving me hope, it’s the endless stream of heartfelt commercials from giant corporations showing pandemic montages backed by emotional piano tracks from stock music libraries. ❤️.
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Worth a try: Today is my lovely wife’s 50th bday. We were supposed to be on a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Spain. Canceled. If a few of you could reply with one nice Spanish word (or mas!) it might be like a little tiny trip to Spain for her. 😀🇪🇸🙏.
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this tweet does not require a thread the proposal is approved as-is
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this is the worst haiku I’ve ever seen.
If you have the facts, you bang the facts. If you have the law, you bang the law. If you don't have either, you bang the table. Today, we've seen a whole lot of table banging.
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MLK at Berkeley, ‘67. Even without the sound, you can feel history happening here.
In May 1967 at UC Berkeley, Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his final address to the Bay Area. His speech highlighted how the antiwar and civil rights movements transformed America but still had much work to do. You may be struck by how relevant his words seem to events today.
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It’s December 25th, and I am filled with the spirit of the season, so I just want to wish all of you out there a Happy Amazon Gift Card Day.
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I just signed up for the Blue Shield PPO plan via @BlueShieldCA, and promptly received in the mail my erroneous “Welcome to your Blue Shield HMO plan” brochure. Luckily, details don’t matter in the healthcare arena, because if they did I’d be pretty alarmed.
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Some clean gallows humor: My local Safeway lost its liquor license, so they’ve placed Tide Pods in the locked cabinets that formerly held rare, expensive scotches.😂
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Prepare to geek out🎸: here’s the price fetched for every magnificent David Gilmour guitar sold at yesterday’s Christie’s auction. Be sure to scroll all the way down.
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I’m not usually a retweeter, but this superb, 3-minute gun control piece from NPR reveals a side of the debate you haven’t heard. Also, the journalist.
For more than a year, I’ve been working on a story exploring the other side of the #NeverAgain movement. What about kids who don’t participate in #MarchForOurLives? Our final piece aired on WBUR this morning - please give it a listen!.
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Just received the “Style Tip of the Month” from @APStylebook, and it is not what you would call subtle👏:
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orangina is just san pellegrino with orangina added to it.
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