Lmao.

Coordinating with the person who just parked next to me at Trader Joe’s so we can leave at the same time because that must’ve been what Joe was thinking when he created this fuck fest of a parking lot.

You know what Fuck you and that apple watch.

This was not the work of the woke mob I will tell u that ….

I feel like we’re all watching a different Superman.

RT @oweenis: @messygirI water balloons.

Is using ur blinker like woke or something now or did half the population just forget how to drive like genuinely what the hell is going on.

Thanks for the likes u guys u I love u.

I wish flies spoke English so I could say Hey if you don’t leave right now I am going to kill you so hard.

RT @PtDreamer78: going to the fortune teller and u pick one of the tarot cards. its The Pervert. u ask if thats good and the fortune teller….

Your future wife could be on the verge of tears in cvs.

I’m 79 and AFRAID of Rosie O’Donnell.

You’re in his dms I’m in his clairo merch.

Instead of those “out of context” accounts that post clips they should make in context ones that start with a summary and end with a middle school style socratic seminar.

WORKERS OF THE WORLD good afternoon :) :P.

Websites r like You have 7,000,000 points!!!!! Here is your $3 reward.

But I am also irrationally afraid of the Statue of Liberty sooo.

I love that likes are hidden bc now I just like every side of the argument like damn it lowkey depends….

“Omg you people can’t do anything” correct.

Sorry I didn’t get back to u I have the disruptive 9 year old boy disease that makes it impossible for me to do anything at all ever for some reason.