Friendly reminders…

BALTHAZAR: We come bearing gifts for the newborn king, O Holy Ones. MARY: Just put them on the table. We’re doing a white elephant thing this year. https://t.co/d9Mo71f8XA

"We recently identified a breach of our North Pole Magic Systems (NPMS) that may have compromised your personal data—namely, the thousands of hours of footage we have of when you are sleeping, as well as when you are awake." https://t.co/eQQZnwBaZe

"Edward Albee’s 1962 classic play has been adapted numerous times throughout the decades but never like the immersive performance put on by Debbie and Hank Crowder this holiday season." https://t.co/SybpiJOmCn

"For one magical night a year, Santa and his friends bring holiday cheer to millions of people around the world. For the rest of the 364 nights? They’re just like us: hustling to get by in an ever-shrinking global economy." https://t.co/ew0VznA2G5

The Sound of Music is on TV tonight, so we must point you, yet again, to this all-timer by Melinda Taub from our archives.

1. Your magical powers can light up a room. 2. Everyone laughs at you and calls you names. 3. A red biological emission is the source of deep shame and trauma.

"They hate you, Rudolph. They hate you for your strength, your self-reliance, for being a… a misfit. This world won't accept you. So to be worthy of you, I will choose to suffer. I'll refuse to permit myself happiness."

🚑 🎶 "I Saw Mommy Charged Five Grand for Gauze"🎶🚑 💰🎶"Halve Your Wealth to Repair Your Meniscus"🎶💰 🫤🎶"God Rest Ye Weary New Mother (For 24 Hours, Then Please Vacate the Maternity Ward)" 🎶🫤 https://t.co/YMJtOhph5C

"Deep contempt for groupthink and is suspicious of the motivations of people, corporations, and the government." https://t.co/6u2vbpVoRq

A crowd had gathered in the center of Nukus, the capital of the Central Asian Republic of Karakalpakstan, to squint through a skein of toxic dust into the illuminated lobby of one of the world’s most peculiar cultural institutions: the Nukus Museum of Art. https://t.co/dnCSHauUw1

"Instead of a holiday one-off, could it be a weekly series? (e.g., Jake Log is an ex-cop turned P.I. who plays by his own rules.)" https://t.co/yxiCIwyJTq

"I miss the craftsmanship of the Bush years, you know? George W. Bush and his team didn’t just point to Iraq and go 'I wanna!' like a toddler about to throw a tantrum. They WORKED to get all those soldiers and civilians killed." https://t.co/yhAwT54veH

KEVIN: Two guys in a Cybertruck just drove by. I don’t recognize them, Mom. What if they break in? MOM: We have a palm recognition door, honey. Calm down. Plus, I know that truck. It’s the Wet Bandits. They deliver my reverse-osmosis water each week https://t.co/CmwnL5JdOy

"So sorry I 'triggered' you by challenging your notions of what’s 'appropriate' for nursing home concert etiquette, but as it turns out, my actions (fart) constitute protected speech under this little thing called the First Amendment (ever heard of it?)." https://t.co/SDIVK0cUCf

ALBERT Why does he look like that? GALAXY Because he's discovering that he gets sexual gratification from seeing people unexpectedly fall into water. ALBERT Ew. I don't like him. GALAXY Yes. He's kind of a creep. https://t.co/fSnix2nAV3

"Riding in upon a teal Ford Focus came a great warrior, a suitor of the gentlefolks' granddaughter. Word had spread through the kingdom that this warrior worked with computers and perhaps even knew the true nature of the Router." https://t.co/VpnoRELkVi

SANTA DENIER 1: With everything we know, how can you still think Santa is real? CHILD: Well, every Christmas morning, there are REAL presents under my tree FROM Santa. SD1: But you know it’s not Santa putting those there. CHILD: Who else would it be? https://t.co/3HLIEhGrTt

"The dire need for this Infrastructure Week cannot be overstated. Mr. President, despite our corporate policy to sugarcoat most things, we are not going to sugarcoat this statement: The Polar Express endangers the lives of every child who boards it." https://t.co/qaOZIJuDv5

"I gingerly placed the Grinch’s head into my hot milk. And then, nothing. 'Thought it would be more bomby,' I uttered to no one. I had to poke it for half a minute before anything happened." https://t.co/RBSbAl5J0G

October 2025 saw fifty more cruelties, collusions, corruptions, and crimes committed by Trump and his administration. They're up 580 since he was sworn in last January.