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Martyn

@martynhett

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PR Manager. Audrey Roberts Noise creator. Proud owner of a Deirdre Barlow tattoo. Won Come Dine With Me once. My life peaked when I met Mariah Carey 🇬🇧🇹🇷

Snapchat: martynhett
Joined March 2009
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@martynhett
Martyn
7 years
Spent my Sunday evening making an extended version of my Audrey Roberts Noise video because I'll forever be single. hby?
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8 years
people on facebook are praying for a dog with a slice of ham on its face thinking it was injured in a house fire
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Martyn
7 years
Official campaign to find and knight the girl who used McDonald's wrappers for shoes last night
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7 years
If your mam doesn't frantically gather the wrapping paper into a binbag whilst the presents are being opened is she even your mam?
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7 years
Me thinking about everything I've eaten today
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Martyn
7 years
When you sneak out for a toilet break on the Macy Gray song and the entire arena had the same idea #DangerousWomanTour
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Martyn
7 years
Is there a single worse human being on the planet than Jessie J?
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Martyn
7 years
Name a more iconic duo
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7 years
Official petition for all police and ambulance sirens to be replaced with this iconic Heidi Range vocal from 2004
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Martyn
9 years
Sign language man terrifies Liz McDonald (via Liam Stratton)
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9 years
This is going to give me nightmares for the rest of my life http://t.co/bFjG4VOCqG
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Martyn
7 years
Define iconic:
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7 years
My mum has set up her own stall at a craft fair and has messaged me to say she hasn't sold anything yet and my heart is breaking
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Martyn
7 years
Me on Facebook vs me on Twitter
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Martyn
8 years
I could watch this video of Theresa May accidentally going the wrong way out of Downing Street all day
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Martyn
7 years
Roses are red My gran likes to knit
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8 years
Your mates are lying to you Joan
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Martyn
9 years
When I'm at a party and someone tries to share my voddy
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Martyn
7 years
I deleted somebody off Facebook last night because they skipped Ariana 'Into You' at a house party
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Martyn
7 years
What a beautiful end to this story 😭😭😭 I'm weeping. KEEP THE DREAM ALIVE HERE >>
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Martyn
7 years
Cannot cope with this extract from an interview with Duncan from Blue
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Martyn
7 years
So nice of Liverpool to erect a statue in honour of Gail Platt, what a great city
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Martyn
8 years
New favourite game = finding Americans on Facebook that have no idea they are Corrie characters
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Martyn
8 years
Me when people ask me if I still want to live in a world where Donald Trump is president
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Martyn
7 years
This is what I imagine southerners hear when they first meet me
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@martynhett
Martyn
8 years
This app has revolutionised the way I communicate. Just sent this to work to let them know I'll be late.
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Martyn
8 years
Guys. After TEN YEARS of waiting, we're going to have a new @iamjojo album in TWELVE. DAYS. I can't handle.
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Martyn
9 years
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Martyn
8 years
i've had fun along the way
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Martyn
7 years
I mean I think it works pretty well tbh
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Martyn
7 years
Answer:
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Martyn
7 years
She's on a par with the iconic girl who used a slice of pizza as a cushion in 2014
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7 years
@Tinkaman1873 Life is for living 😂
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Martyn
8 years
Emily's grandmother is Turkish. Here's what she thinks of your racist billboards #CatsAgainstBrexit
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7 years
Omg she's bought this book to help her cope with her new followers/fanbase on twitter 😂😂 I just love her
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Martyn
8 years
Thoroughly obsessed with this photo of the queen. It's like me when I see somebody from school in the street.
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Martyn
7 years
THIS IS THE BEST SNAPCHAT I HAVE EVER DONE, I CAN'T BREATHE 😂😂😂😂
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Martyn
7 years
Cannot cope with the wall in this bedroom on RightMove #StopStraightPeople2k17
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Martyn
7 years
My iconic mum's book has been featured on the BBC, I honestly couldn't be prouder! You can buy it here:
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Martyn
7 years
#NeverForget this iconic Nadine Coyle advert that would've benefited hugely from subtitles
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Martyn
9 years
My Eurovision party is better than yours. We love you @ConchitaWurst #Eurovision http://t.co/M6eQWJ73Wf
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Martyn
7 years
HAPPY SUNDAY EVERYBODY! I hope your day is as fabulous as me
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Martyn
10 years
Ladies and gentlemen... I give you... EARLY 90s DEIRDRE BARLOW #IWinHalloween http://t.co/wRorP0Rm3j
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Martyn
7 years
Me listening to all my friends worrying about being in work tomorrow and remembering I'm not in work until August
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Martyn
8 years
This rock version of Perfect Illusion is 8,000 times better than the actual song
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Martyn
7 years
Me when I pretend my bank balance doesn't exist and continue to live beyond my means
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Martyn
8 years
In a cruel twist of fate, I have also suffered severe burns this evening #PrayForMartyn
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Martyn
7 years
Aretha Franklin is the level of petty I aspire to be
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7 years
When the badmanz on the train take a break from staring at you to sip their Echo Falls rose
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Martyn
8 years
I need to stop making these ridiculous videos
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Martyn
7 years
Omg guys please continue to buy things, THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY. Her shop is here:
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Martyn
7 years
Flatmate: why did you sneak off to your room when you returned home in the same clothes as yesterday at 3pm? Me:
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Martyn
7 years
My heart is melting, thank you @LiamLambrini for being her first customer
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Martyn
7 years
Another favourite from the archives. She was quite literally not at the house party, because again, we've never met
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Martyn
7 years
Katie Hopkins: queen of using child abuse to push her racist agenda
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Martyn
8 years
Jane McDonald's version of 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough' is the most important contribution to music since Mozart
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7 years
Friend: "why are you still single?" Me:
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Martyn
7 years
Is that your slow cooker or your toilet Jillian?
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Martyn
7 years
I have a huge lump on my head because my Mariah Carey canvas fell off the wall and hit me. This is honestly the gayest injury I've ever had.
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Martyn
9 years
I notice Rihanna came dressed as the bottom of the grill after you've made a cheese-heavy piece of cheese on toast http://t.co/QS9UUjAOaz
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Martyn
7 years
I've just found out she has her own Depop shop, I'm obsessed
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Martyn
10 years
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9 years
When you're invited to the group selfie last minute and feel like an afterthought http://t.co/tFTAjhPax0
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7 years
When you spend your lunchbreak coordinating various TV, newspaper and international interviews with your newly famous mother
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8 years
Southeners are so weird
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7 years
Sharon Mitchell vs. Christina Aguilera
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7 years
THIS IS WHAT I IMAGINE HEAVEN LOOKS LIKE #Martyns90sThemedBirthday
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Martyn
7 years
Me pretending I'm a good uncle for Facebook likes vs me in reality
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7 years
@Amy_JessicaJ that and the fact that im not jessie j
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Martyn
7 years
My secret santa present at work was a battery powered Gail Platt candle, and I honestly will never need anything else in life
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7 years
She's going global! 🌎
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7 years
This week in 1991, Mariah, Whitney and Celine were all in the top 5 of the Billboard Hot 100. What a time <3
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Martyn
7 years
Thread of my Eurovision parties and iconic themes throughout the years
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7 years
Last day with my hun having prosecco in the sun 💞☀️
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Martyn
7 years
The classic video instead of a picture game
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7 years
Me when 'Into You' comes on in the club
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Martyn
7 years
Why does my cat look like she's about to break into a seductive jazz number? 😂
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Martyn
7 years
Lowri Turner getting excited over a metallic blue dress is peak noughties
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Martyn
10 years
Is everyone going to pretend they like Beyonce's shit fringe just because it's Beyonce? http://t.co/ihdGIw8WDq
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7 years
Early 90s Mariah appreciation tweet
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8 years
I want Judy Finnigan's life
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7 years
Rita is me
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7 years
The House of Commons after hearing 'Into You'
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End of a very long era! There will be no more wigs in the House of Commons
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7 years
Queen of sending me vintage photos of Gail privately
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8 years
GIF of the decade
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7 years
How my father thought I was straight when I was 15 I will never know
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Martyn
10 years
One year ago today, Gail Platt was viciously attacked with peanuts by @JackPShepherd88 #NeverForget #JusticeForGail http://t.co/P479yVwgEO
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Martyn
10 years
That awkward moment when you're chillin' on the beach and you turn into @MariahCarey http://t.co/6iLTPmrJpz
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7 years
Scratch that, I'm coming back as Celine's
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8 years
Poor Mariah's engagement secret is out. And she was so subtle about it too...
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Martyn
7 years
My friend's auntie always leaves really weird comments on my Facebook. I've never met her and never really know how to respond
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Martyn
8 years
@aVeryRichBitch @NotAgainBen Didn't know she sang, I thought she rapped or... whatever...
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8 years
Big congrats to @KatyPerry who has become the most followed person on Twitter after purchasing 50m followers!
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Martyn
7 years
When it's Monday but all you have to do today is go for lunch with @stubotweets , drink prosecc and see Ariana #MondayMotivation
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Martyn
7 years
Says the person who has built their 'success' around other people's misery
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Martyn
7 years
Met up with me mam for the first time since her viral fame. She's stocked up on materials and has had a very busy weekend knitting 😂💖
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Martyn
7 years
My stepmum has just pulled out a list she's been writing of celebrities who have died in 2016
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Martyn
8 years
The guy on Grindr who speaks as though he's the opening of a Destiny's Child song is still at it
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Martyn
7 years
I am now the proud owner of every episode of Coronation Street from 1960 - 2009 and this is honestly the happiest day of my life.
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8 years
just a reminder that sam smith was in primary school when I started college but he looks like he could be my dad
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