Martyn
@martynhett
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PR Manager. Audrey Roberts Noise creator. Proud owner of a Deirdre Barlow tattoo. Won Come Dine With Me once. My life peaked when I met Mariah Carey 🇬🇧🇹🇷
Snapchat: martynhett
Joined March 2009
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Pinned Tweet
Spent my Sunday evening making an extended version of my Audrey Roberts Noise video because I'll forever be single. hby?
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people on facebook are praying for a dog with a slice of ham on its face thinking it was injured in a house fire
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Official campaign to find and knight the girl who used McDonald's wrappers for shoes last night
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If your mam doesn't frantically gather the wrapping paper into a binbag whilst the presents are being opened is she even your mam?
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When you sneak out for a toilet break on the Macy Gray song and the entire arena had the same idea
#DangerousWomanTour
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Is there a single worse human being on the planet than Jessie J?
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Official petition for all police and ambulance sirens to be replaced with this iconic Heidi Range vocal from 2004
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My mum has set up her own stall at a craft fair and has messaged me to say she hasn't sold anything yet and my heart is breaking
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I could watch this video of Theresa May accidentally going the wrong way out of Downing Street all day
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I deleted somebody off Facebook last night because they skipped Ariana 'Into You' at a house party
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What a beautiful end to this story 😭😭😭 I'm weeping. KEEP THE DREAM ALIVE HERE >>
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Cannot cope with this extract from an interview with Duncan from Blue
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So nice of Liverpool to erect a statue in honour of Gail Platt, what a great city
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New favourite game = finding Americans on Facebook that have no idea they are Corrie characters
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Me when people ask me if I still want to live in a world where Donald Trump is president
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This is what I imagine southerners hear when they first meet me
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This app has revolutionised the way I communicate. Just sent this to work to let them know I'll be late.
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Guys. After TEN YEARS of waiting, we're going to have a new
@iamjojo
album in TWELVE. DAYS. I can't handle.
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She's on a par with the iconic girl who used a slice of pizza as a cushion in 2014
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Emily's grandmother is Turkish. Here's what she thinks of your racist billboards
#CatsAgainstBrexit
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Omg she's bought this book to help her cope with her new followers/fanbase on twitter 😂😂 I just love her
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Thoroughly obsessed with this photo of the queen. It's like me when I see somebody from school in the street.
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THIS IS THE BEST SNAPCHAT I HAVE EVER DONE, I CAN'T BREATHE 😂😂😂😂
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My iconic mum's book has been featured on the BBC, I honestly couldn't be prouder! You can buy it here:
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#NeverForget
this iconic Nadine Coyle advert that would've benefited hugely from subtitles
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My Eurovision party is better than yours. We love you
@ConchitaWurst
#Eurovision
http://t.co/M6eQWJ73Wf
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Ladies and gentlemen... I give you... EARLY 90s DEIRDRE BARLOW
#IWinHalloween
http://t.co/wRorP0Rm3j
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Me listening to all my friends worrying about being in work tomorrow and remembering I'm not in work until August
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This rock version of Perfect Illusion is 8,000 times better than the actual song
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Me when I pretend my bank balance doesn't exist and continue to live beyond my means
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When the badmanz on the train take a break from staring at you to sip their Echo Falls rose
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Omg guys please continue to buy things, THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY. Her shop is here:
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Flatmate: why did you sneak off to your room when you returned home in the same clothes as yesterday at 3pm?
Me:
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Another favourite from the archives. She was quite literally not at the house party, because again, we've never met
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Katie Hopkins: queen of using child abuse to push her racist agenda
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Jane McDonald's version of 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough' is the most important contribution to music since Mozart
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I have a huge lump on my head because my Mariah Carey canvas fell off the wall and hit me. This is honestly the gayest injury I've ever had.
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I notice Rihanna came dressed as the bottom of the grill after you've made a cheese-heavy piece of cheese on toast
http://t.co/QS9UUjAOaz
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When you're invited to the group selfie last minute and feel like an afterthought
http://t.co/tFTAjhPax0
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When you spend your lunchbreak coordinating various TV, newspaper and international interviews with your newly famous mother
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Me pretending I'm a good uncle for Facebook likes vs me in reality
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My secret santa present at work was a battery powered Gail Platt candle, and I honestly will never need anything else in life
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This week in 1991, Mariah, Whitney and Celine were all in the top 5 of the Billboard Hot 100. What a time <3
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Thread of my Eurovision parties and iconic themes throughout the years
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Why does my cat look like she's about to break into a seductive jazz number? 😂
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Lowri Turner getting excited over a metallic blue dress is peak noughties
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Is everyone going to pretend they like Beyonce's shit fringe just because it's Beyonce?
http://t.co/ihdGIw8WDq
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The House of Commons after hearing 'Into You'
End of a very long era!
There will be no more wigs in the House of Commons
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How my father thought I was straight when I was 15 I will never know
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One year ago today, Gail Platt was viciously attacked with peanuts by
@JackPShepherd88
#NeverForget
#JusticeForGail
http://t.co/P479yVwgEO
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That awkward moment when you're chillin' on the beach and you turn into
@MariahCarey
http://t.co/6iLTPmrJpz
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Poor Mariah's engagement secret is out. And she was so subtle about it too...
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My friend's auntie always leaves really weird comments on my Facebook. I've never met her and never really know how to respond
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Big congrats to
@KatyPerry
who has become the most followed person on Twitter after purchasing 50m followers!
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When it's Monday but all you have to do today is go for lunch with
@stubotweets
, drink prosecc and see Ariana
#MondayMotivation
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Says the person who has built their 'success' around other people's misery
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Met up with me mam for the first time since her viral fame. She's stocked up on materials and has had a very busy weekend knitting 😂💖
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My stepmum has just pulled out a list she's been writing of celebrities who have died in 2016
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The guy on Grindr who speaks as though he's the opening of a Destiny's Child song is still at it
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I am now the proud owner of every episode of Coronation Street from 1960 - 2009 and this is honestly the happiest day of my life.
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just a reminder that sam smith was in primary school when I started college but he looks like he could be my dad
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