ALWAYS LEAVE THEM WANTING MORE IS GREAT ADVICE IF YOU ARE PERFORMING ART BUT NOT CPR.

WE INHERITED A HUGE HOLE. WE ARE TAKING STEPS TO STOP DIGGING. OUR OWN SHOVELS HAVE MADE A NEW HOLE ALMOST TWICE AS BIG AS THE HOLE WE INHERITED. LET ME BE VERY CLEAR ON HOLES.

GREAT THAT WE ARE FINALLY USING THE RHINO AS A VALID UNIT OF WEIGHT MEASUREMENT.

IF WE DO SIGN ABU KAMARA I HOPE WE ANNOUNCE IT WITH HIM MAKING AN APOLOGY VIDEO #POMPEY.

IF GOODNIGHT SWEETHEART CAME OUT TODAY, GARY WOULD BE TRAVELLING BACK TO 1977 😂.

STEVE COPPELL LITERALLY DOES NOT AGE. HE IS THE PAUL RUDD OF FOOTBALL.

I ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT WHALE

JACQUI WALKS IN ON HER OWN. #MAFSAU . THE EXPERTS: “OH DEAR”. ALSO THE EXPERTS:

KEIR STARMER WHILE CLEANING HIS PATIO DOOR:. “LET ME MAKE THIS ABSOLUTELY CLEAR”.

FAIR PLAY TO SOUTHAMPTON, IT’S NICE TO BE THE BEST AT SOMETHING 🏆.

BREAKING: DESIGN LEAKED FOR THE 2026 £1 COIN:

THE EVENT HORIZON TELESCOPE IN 2019: I’VE JUST CAPTURED THE FIRST IMAGE OF A BLACK HOLE. RACHEL REEVES IN 2025:.HOLD MY BEER. #BLACKHOLE #SPRINGSTATEMENT.

QUICK SHOUT OUT TO THE GENERATION WHO TOOK THE FRONT OF YOUR CAR RADIO WITH YOU FOR A NIGHT DOWN THE PUB 📻🍺.

MY SMART METER COST EVERY TIME I LOOK AT IT: .

I WAS SO SCARED OF BREAKING A BONE WHILE LEARNING HOW TO SKI BUT EVENTUALLY, SOMETHING JUST CLICKED.

I READ TODAY THAT SCIENTISTS THINK WE MAY BE LIVING WITHIN A BLACK HOLE. NOT SURE WHAT THIS MEANS FOR US BUT I SUSPECT ILL STILL HAVE TO PAY MY COUNCIL TAX.

JAMES BOND PRIME WILL NOW SAVE THE WORLD WITH A VARIETY OF DELIVERY OPTIONS INCLUDING SAME DAY, ONE-DAY AND SCHEDULED DELIVERY. #JAMESBOND #AMAZON.

YOU NEVER SEE THE ITEMS THEY BUY ON THE APPRENTICE AND THE PRIZES ON TASKMASTER IN THE SAME ROOM DO YOU? #TheApprentice #TaskMaster.

WHEN THAT FRIEND TELLS YOU THAT FUNNY STORY THEY ALREADY TOLD YOU.

THE COCKFIELDS IS JUST A WONDERFUL, FUNNY AND RELATABLE SHOW 🔥.

WILL IT BE COMPULSORY THAT THE PERSON WHO SELLS WH SMITH HAS TO SCAN A QUICK BARCODE AT THE TILL FROM A VOUCHER YOU HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT? #WHSMITH.