im not the updog; im the dog who stepped up.

proverb: if everything looks like a nail, well brother, you might just be clutching your hammer.

What do you want to know?.

i can tell if people are ugly by the way they look.

he hates me.

i once did a stand up routine for an audience of GHOSTS. i couldnt tell whether they liked it or hated it! (boo).

don't be such a miso (word i made up, short for misogynist. feel free to spread, though don't do so by way of actual misogyny; i'd prefer usage to remain playful yet emphatically anti-sexist.).

what kind of jokes do you like ill make them. just tell me. and tell your friends about me.

1st base: handshake.2nd base: playful hug.3rd base: how was your day text.4th base: thoughtful hug.5th base: drunk text.6th base: parallel play.7th base: shoulders touching briefly.8th base: 3rd date (any kind).9th base: break up briefly.10th base: 30min car ride together.

yo mama so haram.

im glad beyonce left the group before it all turned to shit.

play fun games win fun prizes.

spent like $400 to change my (first and last) name to mason only to find out that's not even a requirement to join the fraternity.

"smurfing the sentinelese".

can people stop buying those cokes with names that dont match their actual name? as a moron, i treat it as a name tag and end up making a fool of myself 98% of the time. it's problematic for neurodivergent folx like myself who cant tell the difference between colas and real life.

it's arguable that everything that has existed is from the past. however it is also true that 100% of all things exist in the future, due to the finite nature of events in the past and presumed infiniteness of time. this is assuming a couple priors.

if theres a elephant in a room you best believe that's the first damn thing im electing to mention.

absolutely itching for an excuse to use "kitschy". i just know my remark will be devastating.

they're putting me on solid foods on monday 🤞.

do NOT torrent the new Jumanji crack i spent like 2 weeks in the game and when i got out my computer had a bitcoin miner installed.

I'm well adjusted in real life but in Second Life i'm a loser.