୨mari_recovery୧
@mari_recovery
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~trying my best to recover from an ed~ she/her, pl/eng
Joined January 2024
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big tw but PLEASE can someone read this i'm about to cry
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Tw
Guys is this too much food? I feel so horrible today, i ate all this but i'm still hungry i hate myself
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During my ed: why is restricting so hard?
During recovery: why is not restricting so hard?
WHY IS EVERYTHING SO HARD??
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Today's food (+ an ice cream but i don't have a photo)
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Tw?
Guys it's not too much food right?? Does this look like overeating? I'm freaking out so much because of the vegetable salad with mayo 😭😭
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Guys is it normal to eat every 2-4 hours? I've heard some people say that they have 6 hour spaces between meals and now i'm confused
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I eat something salty→i need to eat something sweet→i eat something sweet→i need to eat something salty
IT'S A NEVER ENDING CYCLE
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Is not having a thigh gap considered normal by non disordered people? Or do they think it's unatractive
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My grandma baked me a fish for dinner so i ate it, without any veggies, but with a wheat roll. Idk the calories and i'm not gonna check them, nothing bad will happen
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Day 1 trying not to count calories.. I'm losing my mind i don't want to gain weight
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I wanred to make pancakes from protein yoghurt and banana but they didn't flip well so i just microwaved the batter and created this thing 😭
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I feel hungry → i feel bad because i'm hungry
I don't feel hungry → i feel bad because i'm scared that i ate too much
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Tw//calories
Why am i so hungry at 1600 kcal? I'm a healthy weight and i don't even work out, whats wrong with me?
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@changkyuncals
That's a deficit for most people tho?? 😭😭 it's impossible to not be malnourished while eating in a deficit and maintaing an unhealthy weight 💀
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It was a really challenging day but i made it! I ate lunch and ice cream in a shopping mall with my mom :))
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@braiinnm0uld
It is, but i just hope that it is possible to recover mentally and not just be in the same mental state but in a bigger body 😭
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Tw
What's the point of leaving my house and hanging out with my friends if my thighs are touching, i can never be pretty again i ruined it all i'm just gonna stay in my room all summer
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@Ki_loves_muesli
Yeah, she also said that if i eat too much in one day then i need to make up for it by eating less for the next few days
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Tw?
Why does every single girl my age i see in public have a flat stomach? It makes me want to never leave my room again
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What if my anorexia is going to turn into BED? i'm scared i don't want it to happen
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Guys i want to practise drawing people with diffrent features so i thought that i could draw characters with features that people are insecure about to kinda normalise them, so please comment your insecurities or just features i could draw!
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I eat until I'm full → I'm terrified because i probably will get hungry again in half an hour → i sit and stare on my wall because I'm terrified → i get hungry again → I'm even more terrified because why did i get hungry so fast i literally just ate
HOW DO I MAKE THIS STOP
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The pressure i feel to work out in recovery is insane.. I feel like everyone is doing it and i'm just sitting here rotting in bed and eating all day 💀
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No proper meals today, just a lot of cake, popcorn and cookies 😭😭
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I need to start working out everyone is working out in recovery i'm the only one gaining pure fat
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Why do all the girls i see have flat stomachs, what is wrong with me?
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Is brain fog normal in recovery or does it mean i'm still eating to little?
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I'm gonna try chia pudding for the first time in my life tommorow :33
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Crepes with vanilla yoghurt, pineapple and strawberries
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Why does everyone eat less than me? I'm not even talking about healthy people, but recovery accounts 😭 everyone eats so little and works out in recovery, why am i like this?
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Where to get healthy fats when I'm vegetarian and don't like avocado 😭😭 because my diet is only protein and carbs i eat like 2g fats a day
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Should i make a wieiad from easter/my birthday? (They're the same day this year!)
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It's also repeating the cycle. You either recover, die or live an unhappy life forever. And we only have one life. Why waste it on going in circles?
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Dinner made by my grandma! Chicken potatoes broccoli and a kiwi for dessert 🔥
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It's the middle of the night, i have school tommorow but I NEED ANSWERS
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Tw//may be triggering
That's literally what calories are tho??
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Tw/disordered thoughts
I already ate the amount of food a healthy person should eat today, why am i still so fucking hungry what's wrong with me? I'm going out tommorow i cant look like a monster i hate this i want to die
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I'm a person who has a body, nothing more nothing less. My body is just a tool and it's job is to work properly no matter how it looks.
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Yes i eat pizza with ketchup.
I'm gonna eat a whole ass pizza for dinner today idgaf
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Tw
Guys is this a normal amount of food or should i eat more?
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@roll3rbrawl
IKK HE'S HUGE (he's totally healthy tho, vet said he's not overweight, just big af 😭😭)
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Dinner - baked fish with tomato sauce and cheese, homemade potato fries, some pickles and cherry tomatoes
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Will i get more toned and gain more muscle by exercising if i don't diet? Does exercising even have a point if i eat intuitively?
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Fr, i wanted to reach my gw for my prom, i did, i went to the prom, ate TONS of food until my stomach was about to explode, left after 3 hours because i was too tired, bloated and irritated, i look like i haven't slept in weeks in all of my prom photos💀💀
those “pov you reach your ugw by summer!!!” threads piss me off so bad
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I would've never started recovery without my mom, i love her sm
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I feel so happy every time i don't buy something because of the price. Because like, i care about the price not the calories??? I can think ,,noo i won't buy it it's too expensive,, instead of ,,noo it has too many calories,, it's a really small thing but it makes me happy
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Guys does this look like enough for a day or should i eat more?
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Why do humans need to eat so often? I want to be able to hang out with my friends without feeling hungry 2 hours after leaving my house 😭
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I hate the ,,girl dinner'' trend. Like, it's not quirky or cool that you ate string cheese and a cookie for dinner, youre just undereating that's all, people are supposed to eat normal meals💀
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Is this birthday going to be the first in years without restricting or planned binging? I really do hope so
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Tw//calories
I already ate 1500 kcal so why am i still hungry? I hate myself why can't i just stop being hungry for 5 MINUTES what's wrong with me
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Tw?
Why am i even alive? All i do is sleep and eat, i'm always bored, idk what to do, idk what to think of, i do have a lot of hobbies but i never do anything related to them, i don't have any friends, what's the point of all this?
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Tw//disordered thoughts, calories
I ate like 2000 kcal today and i didn't even leave my room or exercise, I'm going to get fat i hate myself
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TW cals
Is it even possible to stop counting calories? I deleted all counting apps, i don't weigh my food, but my brain is still counting every single calorie (if i eat foods i don't know the cals of i'm just estimating but still counting it at the end of the day) HOW DO I STOP
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I'm so tired of recovery i don't want to look like this
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Sandwitches with hummus, lettuce, cheese and bell pepper
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Does anyone else eat the opposite of dessert after having something sweet for dinner? Like, if i had pancakes for dinner i have to eat a salty snack like some pickles after that 😭😭
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There's so many comments saying that that's what happened to people... I swear i'm gonna prove y'all that mental recovery is possible it has to be 😭
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I got favourite chicken dish!
Reply with 🍰 for a theme
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I don't think i can ever recover, maybe I'll just give up it's only making everything worse anyways
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@auddumb
Yeah, there is no way because they're fictional, they're weight is made up (by men in most cases, and they know NOTHING about women's weight😭😭)
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Bitch just eat omg 🙄🙄
I'm fighting my extreme hunger rn because I'm a dumbass and I'm too scared of gaining 😭😭
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Tw//weight, calories
Is it possible to gain fat in one day?? For example if i eat like 4k kcal in one day and then come back to my usual diet, will this make me gain fat?
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Tw//calories, disordered thoughts
I ate about 1900 kcal today and i feel fucking HORRIBLE. i feel like it's so much and I'm scared I'm gonna get obese if i keep eating like this, I'm gonna cry why is recovery so hard 😭😭😭😭
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Guys would you consider this an active day? Because my brain is telling me I'm lazy and i should do more in a day help
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I need to focus on things more important than eating and weight, but idk how, food's all i can think about
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Tw
Idk why i'm even recovering atp. It's not getting easier at all, i don't have any more energy that i did before, i don't even really feel better physically. Mentally i'm even worse than before. It doesn't make sense i wanna give up maybe i'm just not meant to recover
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