Your Writer Friend
@mamaztheguru
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no longer active here. IG: mamaztheguru
Joined March 2012
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
So obsessed with that couple who thinks they have telekinesis because they can make a thin piece of aluminum foil move with a gust of wind from swift hand motions.
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I think it's time we visited the very real possibility that Cher is a vampire.
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My boyfriend about International Women's Day:. "Yeah, women deserve recognition. Forreal. Shoutout to all the strong women. *hesitates*. And, shit, shoutout to the weak women too.".
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Releasing this in July was the first problem.
Disney's #HauntedMansion flops with $33M debut at the worldwide box office . The film has a 41% on Rotten Tomatoes and a budget of $150M
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Alright, y’all. It’s 6 so here we go, lol. DID MY KITTY GO SILLY?: My Experience with the ‘Kitty Kat’ Female Enhancement Pill 😯🐈✨🤣. *a thread*
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This video makes me chuckle so much because he wanted his jewelry to be fake SO bad 😭😭😭😭 just a hater omg
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💚WEED ETIQUETTE💚. an informative thread about how to be a stoner that ✨cares✨.
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If you ask me how corny my boyfriend and I are. he's at the gym, but we wanna stay on the phone, so I am rapping his favorite songs to him. I am his playlist. Me and the Apple Music lyrics tab.
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Happy Fade in the Water Day to those who celebrate!! 👊🏾
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Sampling The Boy is Mine after being publicly labeled a home-wrecker is so sick 😩😭.
Ariana Grande reveals her upcoming track ‘The Boy Is Mine’ is a re-imagined version of Brandy & Monica’s track of the same title. She also shares that it is in a way, an elevated version of her previously leaked track ‘fantasize’, labelling it a “bad girl anthem.”
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My pussy INSTANTLY started throbbing. And not no regular throb. it Felt like my pussy was connected to a stereo playing the Jumanji drum beat bro
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Random thought:. It's true. You do become super slutty when you're in love. I've outdone myself. I didn't even know I had that in me. I thought I'd already reached my sexual peak. It's scary, actually.
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Tried my first sip of kombucha just now for an extra burst of gut & vaginal health for the weekend. Y'all can't be seriously drinking this nasty shit. Don't piss me off.
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In all my years of dance I have never seen this happen and it makes my heart full knowing people with disabilities can find activities + spaces they don't have to shrink themselves into. She ate.
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Sometimes when I'm bored at my WFH job, I'll change my wigs between meetings and watch their non-Black eyes widen when I turn on my camera.
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Y’all know that scene on Ratatouille where Remy tried 2 flavors and saw fireworks? Askskdsjjdsj . (Disney+ is on in my house almost 24/7. Sorry)
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My man didn’t know I took the pill. He’s looking at me confused, but impressed. I pull out the packaging and his eyes lit up. I probably should have told him 😭. We was looking at eachother like
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I'm sorry, i cannot stop thinking about this. Keith Lee very clearly stated $1k to barber, $1k to braided, & $2k for yourself. and then she just. never gave them the money????? Like this is just evil 😭😭😭.
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if I send you this, just know I'm on some dumb shit
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Currently cleaning my daughter's room. I'm sweeping under her bed. She's looking nervous as HELL. I ignore it. Keep sweeping anyway. I swept a red solo cup (weird), and then a big ass MOTH comes flying out of it. I scream in HORROR. "What is that doing under there, Z????" . Z.
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men: I like wet pussy. women: I have wet pussy. men: you are a whore.
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Merry Christmas Eve! Some years back, my whole family went to Walmart with $20 cash each and a timer set to 7 minutes. We had 7 minutes to buy a gift for White Elephant. No rules except <$20. I don't remember what I bought, but my sister purchased a FISH-.
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@zoraslovechild 🫤😵💫 She truly cannot stand the thought of anything about her being disliked. And that's something that comes with life. not even just fame. To care this much on a macro scale as an artist is absurd.
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As long as Miley never goes through another Black culture appropriation phase, im a fan for life.
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This single clip is why I won't watch whatever show this is
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The thing about this is. she can't even act nice in this video. She got a real nasty spirit.
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I pretend like I'm okay but deep down inside I wish I could hear Big Ol Freak for the first time again.
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Now, my man can DEVOUR some pussy. Not to brag or nothing. But soon as his lips touched down there THAT ONE TIME, I orgasmed. 😭. He came back up giggling and shit cuz I ain’t ever came that quick before! . That’s when I realized that it was the pill that had my body on 10.
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wait. I just realized it's about to be 7pm Friday, and I ain't got no nigga and a nigga don't got me.
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So obsessed with that couple who thinks they have telekinesis because they can make a thin piece of aluminum foil move with a gust of wind from swift hand motions.
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Today I did laundry, came home, folded them AND put them away. I went grocery shopping WITH a list AND stayed under budget. I also made dinner, put away the leftovers in actual Tupperware, AND cleaned the kitchen before going upstairs. 😭.
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HOW DO I SAFELY TRY: up your water intake, go on an almost empty stomach, don’t mix with medication and heavy liq, and follow the directions. Me at CVS grabbing a plan b this morning cuz we ain’t use condoms all night
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@RGT_Thoughts I'm on the neighbor side. If ima run through a window to whoop ass, they absolutely deserve it 😭😭😭.
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Y'all might think I'm being dramatic but I can tell you about the last weird experience I had. If you wanna listen. And yes, you can tell me if I'm overreacting or not.
I'm really soooooo good on my new-friend-hunt right now. I can't keep having these weird ass experiences with weird ass people. Please leave me alone. I don't wanna be y'all friend no mo. 😂.
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Ok, not “huge as fuck” but it was pretty big, ok? Like. a prenatal pill almost 😂 . Okay, moving on. He comes to my room to greet me. we kiss. he grabs my ass and when I tell you that ass-grab hit DIFFERENT. it felt like the holiest, purest, sensational ass grab ever.
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Cuz bitch it was so wet I thought my period was back LMFAOOO IF YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW. I wanted the dick, immediately. I was ravenous. Hungry for the dick, bro. .
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I love how everyone is acting like this doesn't look a mess.
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"Pussy so good, I forgot to communicate" is wild. I have truly seen it all. Luckily, we weren't exploring anything deep. we were just a couple kinky folk linking up for a fun night. Which we established. So this was completely unnecessary. I never even texted him.
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I love to laugh. I am a cackler, a giggler, a squealer. I will laugh until I cry. I love laughing with people. it makes my heart SOAR. 🥹😭.
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@kamikolovo The picture. Calling her a headache. The fact this was posted. I'm dizzy and sick to my stomach 😭.
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No way my neighbor, the 60 year old woman who actively watches her Ring Camera, just asked me "when you go out, where you be going?" . She said I be looking cute. I told her I go dancing or to my fave bar. She asked to come with me 😂 .And honestly? Ima take her out, too!.
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3. You don't need to be high during every event. As someone who smokes because it's ✨fun✨, I had to teach myself to have fun sober, and use weed as an -additional option-. Get me?.
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being in love without trauma >>>>>>. loving someone who doesn't embarrass you >>>>>>. loving someone you can be yourself around 200% of the time >>>>>. being in a relationship that doesn't bring you shame >>>>>. loving someone you wholeheartedly trust >>>>>>>.
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That one part of the shower where you zone out and think about your life and all your future plans >>>>>
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It's ridiculous how I have feelings for them both because of this edit.
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"Who wants to say fuck everything and live off the grid away from bills and overbearing adulthood?????"
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I was suppressing all my desires but it was a true struggle. I just remember wanting to KEEP fucking. My man had his dick out, laughing at the movie, eating, and I’m just trying not to look @ his dick. Struggling like
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@ganjafairyyy Why couldn't she just start learning how to properly warm wax???? Stock the materials???? Wax armpits????? . Prison for every adult involved.
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@CallMeTraay_ When the video started I thought “I bet a Black woman is gon help her.” Badabing, badaboom.
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Finally got what I DESERVE last night. All night. I wanna cook this man breakfast. I wanna massage his feet. I HATE feet. I could write a story right now and it still wouldn't do the experience any Justice. #deserved
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Aye 😭😭😭 their arms are muscular af cuz all they do is flick their arms all day.
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“What happened, girl?” Im glad you asked. Am I a squirter? Yes. But this was no ordinary squirt. Our jaws was on the floor. Bitch it was like.
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Unfortunately to me, this feels very manipulative and gaslight-y. I will not explain further because I don't care enough. 🙂↕️.
Keith Lee just addressed the Taraji P Henson incident at the BET Awards
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I’m bouncing, I’m grinding, it’s some real uncontrollable jack-rabbit fucking shit going on. he holds me up, starts HAMMERING MY SHIT. then boom, it happened.
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remembering #RobinWilliams and his beautiful soul today. he would have been 69. rest peacefully. 🕊
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If I get one more “I don’t need this 🤪” ass pick me ass dumb ass mentions from one of you stupid bitches ima snap. I never said I NEEDED an enhancer. We some freaks. We shake shit up. It was a fun experiment. THATS IT. It took spectacular sex up a couple HUNNID knotches!!.
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Let me be clear right motherfuckin now I’m gonna be pretty blunt about all this. I don’t think sex should be a taboo topic and I gotta be honest or ima leave some Shit out (like I already have) . If you weak, bitch, pls stop reading rn
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The packaging says it increases arousal & desire. It’s true. Im sexual, but I wanted my man in every way, every position, the shit has me so pushed into horny-drive I did shit I said Id nvr do LMAOOOOOlikeswallowingOOOOOOO. We fucked everywhere in my house except my kids room.
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I never run. I fuck back. But I was feeling EVERYTHING. I was creaming down my thigh, we were sweating, I was throbbing. I ***had*** to run from the shit, everything was TOO INTENSIFIED ):
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Do y'all remember on Insecure when that 1 guy introduced himself as Molly's boyfriend at an event, and when in private, she asked him if it was real . and he was like "no! It just seemed like you really needed a win in there"???? The secondhand embarrassment makes me SICK.
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Once it started, I couldn’t turn it off. I start feeling on my man, like alright let’s get into foreplay so this plane can take off, OKAY. A good 2 minutes of kissing & feeling went by. Every kiss, lick, grab, and rub, sent TINGLES down my SPINE. SHIVERS BRO.
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@444molls This is almost literally how my mom treated me lol. She wouldn't even let me come home during breaks back in college & then I had to live in my car w/my infant daughter. Needless to say, I don't talk to my mom anymore PERIOD. It's really not hard to love/support your kids.
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@MIKEFRMQNZ Fr, this video is almost a minute long 😭😭😭😭 he stood there for longer than a minute tryna test it. Pure hater energy.
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Being courted after dealing with a bare minimum man feels so. foreign lol. This man just pulled up to take my car to the gas station and filled it up. And then he gave me a hug and went back home. Like????.
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Firstly, yes, I'm "qualified" to talk about this. I've been a smoker since 2015 (college), and my family just found out 2 years ago. I've grown tree, I've sold tree, I've done it all. I love weed and weed loves me.
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Just writing this shit is making me have flashbacks which is making my body go a lil crazy. Just. it feels so good to feel yo pussy tighten up THAT TIGHT against a big ass dick connected to a nigga you love, ok????. (THE PILL’S EFFECTS CAN LAST UP TO 72 HOURS 😭😭😭😭).
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Man I just tried to get it out of the house humanely by trapping it in a cup against the wall and leading the cup to an open window but I literally killed it while dragging the cup and Z is crying so bad like literally the "blood" is trailed on the wall rn I'm so fucking-
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THAT CONCLUDES MY REVIEW. I ain’t get out of bed until 3pm today. my wrist hurts, I have bruising, and my body is sooooo drained. I’d recommend for those special nights you want a little UMPH. Ill remember this night forever, cuz GODDAMN. Lol. Thanks for reading.
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My boo likes to massage my body when we’re kicking it. Just a form of affection, doesn’t always necessarily lead to sex. HOWEVER. he started caressing my thighs and legs. And bitch, I FELT IT.
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We're about to get dressed and go to the mall so she can pick out a toy. Lord have mercy.
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LIKE I SAID. THE PILL *ENHANCES SEX* it’s NOT an ecstasy pill. I don’t wanna keep saying this 😭 . “Oh I didn’t feel nothing it didn’t work”. Your sex game is trash. Pls DM me for tips and try again, luv. Now, back to the story.
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Dating someone who's absolutely enamored by you. you feel a difference.
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I just paid all of my bills for April. *All* of them. It's the 1st. My budgeting system is finally paying off. 🥹. I am breaking the cycle of financial illiteracy!!!!!!.
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@kasiafields I'm gonna block you because why the fuck you yelling at me in my own mentions.
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I truly thought I was gon be rocking some curls
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I will no longer be a victim of double-buying and general unawareness of my kitchen . I'll be sliding these bad boys into a sleeve protector that's taped inside my cabinet doors/on the fridge. 🫡
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this ain’t an insult. we are ALL ugly to somebody. charge it to the muhfuckin game luv lmaooo.
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All this to say, YES, the effects are LONG-LASTING like it motherfucking says. My man put his hand on my waist while we’re ordering and I started leaking. asked him to finish ordering for us. I had to feel on that thang under the counter real quick. I couldn’t turn it off
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2 strokes in, I came again . LMFAO. I couldn’t fucking believe it. We be going ROUNDS but it’s like this shit EXPEDITED all the rounds into one tiny ass condensed session. Now, I just came for my man twice now and I had a SLIVER of head and TWO strokes. .
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I'll be finishing her room by myself when she goes to her grandma's this weekend. The stress? Neither of us can take it.
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I ate an hour before all this (ur supposed to take it on an empty stomach or the food will absorb the pill). I knew I was drinking and smoking all night so I also ate a couple graham crackers to help soak up everything lol. I was ready.
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I have 14 minutes left of the Barbie movie. I can confidently say this was the biggest waste of time. I can't believe y'all did all that over this movie. Omg.
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This nigga said “dicespin” ????? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i cry.
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I don't see a problem. Natives get to profit from the high amount of tourism and the yt ladies look ridiculous, which will make the Jamaicans laugh. The Jamaican population won.
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There is literally no better feeling than settling on your couch in a home you live alone in, that's clean and decorated to your heart's desire. I don't take this blessing lightly. 🥹💕.
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