some early observations from my bursting DMs: men who have travelled a lot seem to be particularly insufferable

a lot of men will just straight up talk about their dicks on a first date, often for several minutes at a time????

lots of men apparently more ready to talk about TV, socrates, amnesty international, acid, monogamy, war—and to perform songs, adopt the downward dog position, and do magic tricks—than to ask the human women (and men) they are presently on a date with a single question

comedians are repeat offenders

i’ve 100% lost my grip on my DMs btw but honestly who among us hasn’t loved a terrarium

here’s my impression of a man on a date with a cute, hilarious genius with a fascinating career and a heart of gold: hey i forgot your name and we’ve talked about me for 6 hours but do you want to see literally every photo in my camera roll?

@winningprotocol i’m gonna stop you right there

@theorygurl HONESTLY

@winningprotocol @kathryncasteel Plenty of women like this too

@winningprotocol oh god i feel so SEEN

@winningprotocol Oh wow. I wish I'd seen your initial tweet asking for stories. I wrote this a few months ago after a particularly soul destroying date with a man who would not STFU

@winningprotocol I don’t date men BUT I preside over a lot of dates at work (bartender at a W Village restaurant) and this is something my coworkers and I observe almost daily. Almost every hetero date is a man talking non-stop and a woman nursing her drink while bored to death.

@winningprotocol My wife and I spot this in restaurants all the time. And they say "women talk too much".

@winningprotocol I was chatting with a couple at a bar the other day, she and I were both in the wine biz and chatting about that. I'm not sure how many times I had to ignore his irrelevant interruptions.

@winningprotocol @tgshepherdvan I'm baffled & appalled... ... but how do you mispronounce "namaste"? *runs & hides*

@winningprotocol Almost as bad as the ones who grill their dates for hours and refuse to answer questions about themselves

@winningprotocol @electrolemon YES! Went on a date w/a dad who verbally-processed visiting colleges w/his daughter for 35 minutes and when he was done said, “Thanks! You saved me a copay!” And got up and left.

@winningprotocol I know a guy who, despite being p average in looks & charisma, did *incredibly* romantically—amazing women were constantly falling for him. Eventually i figured it out: -he listens -asks questions -knows he's not entitled to sex happy for him but these are depressingly low bars

@winningprotocol Allie is a legend

@winningprotocol @my2k This is a masterpiece and I just had flashbacks of a few I’d forgotten about. (Oh yes do keep telling me all about cars, clearly this is my fascinated face)

@winningprotocol I literally don't know how to hold a conversation without asking a ton of questions, how do these people even have to energy to talk about themselves for that long?

@winningprotocol omg this : “Dates as personal marketing exercices”

@winningprotocol Yup. Yup. Yup. I always seem to be the one asking the questions too! Part of the reason I’ve given up on dating.