local swamp gay 🦝🦨🦉
@localswampgay
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I’m usually baking something. he/him 📷🏃🏻👨🏻🍳🏳️🌈
New Jersey, USA
Joined July 2012
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Your public school English teachers at their end of year lunch
Julianne Moore, Tilda Swinton, Pedro Almodóvar and Dua Lipa together in new photo.
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Remember the real spirit of Thanksgiving: bob’s bisexuality.
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DL both married, looking for a third to share at the Hampton suites off 95 south NOT gen don’t ask will be blocked
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It’s gonna be close to 100° this week so be sure to hydrate and let your bros take a whiff of your balls
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Are you a Pokémon gay, horror gay, drag race gay, or a marvel gay
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Also who would pick the block of cream cheese like
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She should k*ll him
Kelly Clarkson’s ex-husband Brandon Blackstock reportedly told the singer that she wasn’t “sexy” enough to be a judge on ‘The Voice’ during their marriage.
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Was explaining Grindr to a straight person and they compared it cerebro
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“tHeN why ArE yOu On ThE aPp?” Because girl I’m nosy
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Ignoring the fact that there are plenty of lean, muscular straight men out there, it’s just such a fucked up thing to do to your sibling?
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If you go into any “Italian” American house on a Sunday in NJ, Long Island or Staten Island you will find these men
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Julianne is your honors English, tiles and Pedro are AP Lang snd Lit respectively, Dua started this year and is teaching the sophomores and juniors
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A healthy sex life looks different for everyone and every couple. Some people do it every day, some are good once a week and even others are fine going months without. As well, too often I think gay men limit what they think sex can be (ie topping and bottoming)
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Opening Grindr in a new location for the attention.
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The scents in question:
'The View' host Sunny Hostin cited what she said was a study indicating that gay people can identify each other through scent: 'They have noses for each other.'
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Cutest person at the laundromat (I’m the only one in the laundromat)
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This St. Patrick’s Day is the 16 year anniversary my parents found gay porn on the family computer and my mother asked if it was me and I blamed it on my brother and no one in the house talked for the whole weekend. (Tbh it was both of us, but EYE remembered to clear the history)
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Following people on insta and it’s like, what do you mean your name is actually Robert and not carly rae cumslut
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Raise your hand if you didn’t check the guard on your beard trimmer 🙋♂️
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Get your fucking ass up and throw some bread. It seems like nobody wants to throw bread anymore.
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Did my silly little run, took my stupid little selfie
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Godparents gifted me a new apron for Christmas and I will now be stealing all your whisks
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Why is it protein that builds muscle why can’t it be sugar I cannot eat anymore chickpeas or eggs I want pie
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It’s always “I love your chest hair 😍” and never “what fine shoulder hair you have!”
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Vacation dick implies the existence of workplace dick
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We had a great sex ed teacher in high school, but the funniest for me personally was how she opened the class saying if you’re having sex you need to be prepared for anything and promptly threw a baby doll at my friend who smacked that baby into the radiator. That friend? Gay now
ok but what is the weirdest thing that happened in your sex ed class
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It is very easy to have visible abs and not body shame other people and yet
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My mom: there was a stabbing in Germany at a festival so when you’re there you need to be careful.
My dear we live in the US where we can be shot at the grocery store
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She has to run everyday or she goes crazy, she's like a Border Collie.
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Are the mean gays a couple or is more like a pinky and the brain situation
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In every relationship there is the shrieking at spider boyfriend and takes spider outside boyfriend
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POV: you’re leaving your work holiday party early because no one in your department came so you’re going to buy cookie cutters instead.
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Brother and his boyfriend are getting a new apartment that has a washer/dryer in unit and backyard access and I am so happy for them and not at all jealous
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Tbh it’s not even the humidity, it’s the goddamn gnats
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She wore a crown and She came down in a bubble, Doug.
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“Uncle Andrew can I see your phone?”
Me: uhhhhhh two seconds
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I am not meant for a career; I am meant to be one of those nonprofit leaders who has a wealthy husband and sits on a lot of committees and seems to be doing an art show every Thursday where the art isn’t very good but there is free wine
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Well, he’s done it again (I’m cleaning it up tomorrow)
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I just find it really unfair that i spent the last day of my 20s stuck on zoom all day and not winning a million dollars. Like?
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The only reason I came to San Diego was to see some seals
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Help stop the spread of lymes disease this Labor Day Weekend by checking each other for ticks 🏃🏻☺️🌳🌲
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People Born in 1990-1999
Let’s see a picture or video of yourself
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Me and my many hats
it's the last month of the year, quote with your favorite pictures of yourself this year.
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Having to get up at 4:45 on the Lords day to run smh
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Happy Saturday (sadly the bear face is terminal)
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Unfortunately learned in a crowded gym today that a particular pair of yellow running shorts become see through when I sweat in them
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Explained docking to straight people AND got free soup salad and breadsticks, good day at the Olive Garden
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oh so you can get your back blown out in the steam room of your local equinox, but the suddenly the senate judiciary room is off limits?? 🙄🙄🙄
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Alt this, alt that; how about you get all yourself to an altar and rekindle your relationship with the lord
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Wish my parents were more supportive of my plan to repeatedly marry for money and leave a string of ex husbands while living a life of luxury.
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It arrived
Discovered my order for new running clothes never went through last week
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This kind of dense, walkable, mixed-use urbanism is illegal to build in most American cities
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I found a white chest hair on my 30th birthday. I fear the end is near
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