dirt road dipshit
@littlenugsbunny
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boyfriend and I are camping for the next, like, 3 weekends? last night, we were talking about arranging animal care for all the weekends when he asked me which weekend I planned to move the goats to his place? I told him "probably next weekend" and then just kinda kept ramblin
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yesterday I had a mom & dad + their 5 day old infant in my clinic. mom was answering a series of my health Q's when baby made the loudest dirty diaper
we quickly laughed about it, then I looked at dad and told him the last door on the right had a changing table and wipes for him
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if you abandon or surrender your animal to a shelter, you should never be allowed to have another one.
what is an opinion you have about owning pets that will have you like this?
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we weren't facing each other when I said it, but after a few minutes, we were, and I realized he had tears full on streaming down his face, hella casually, while he was listening to me yappin on. I immediately asked him what was wrong?? and he said, "I'm just so happy."
😭
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as a healthcare provider providing services to a 5-day-post-partum mom, HOW DO YOU ACT INDIFFERENT WHEN A GROWN MAN ACTS LIKE HE'S ABOVE CHANGING HIS CHILDS DIAPER
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POV: your boyfriend purchased 40 acres of uninhabited land this week, and you're driving 600 miles to see it for the first time
anytime someone asks what my boyfriend is like, I tell them, "we're exactly the same person!"
and then today, this man went to the hardware store and came back with 40 acres of land, so 🤌
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I hooked up w/ this guy last week who was doing just the absolute nastiest shit to me
instead of dirty talking me, he was telling me how successful and beautiful I am, and while he had me bent over the bar in my kitchen he said, "look at me" & when I did, he slapped me
and I–
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I've been wfh all week because my boss is super cool about me moving between my appts but she IMed me this morning like, "I'm so sorry, but someones coming to pick something up at noon and no one will be here do you mind coming in?" then I get there and my teams hiding w cupcakes
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telling me you're gonna build me a fence and make me dinner while im at work and then I come home to a fenceless yard and you in ya undies on my couch with ur xbox hooked up to my tv with some burnt chicken on the stove
hypothetically ofc
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I unblocked my exfiance on facebook this week so the post where I tagged his sister and my boyfriend camping at the lake with me over the weekend would show up in his news feed
petty 4ever
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this guy called me when I was leaving work tonight, and so he heard me saying goodbyes and have a good weekends to my coworkers and when I got to my car he asked me why I sounded so giggly all of a suddenly and I told him "probably because I'm talking to my crush"
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ITS NOT HOME TIL THE OCTOPUS IS UP
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ok not to brag but there's a heated blanket in there too 😌
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I was slightly self-conscious abt a dude being in my car last weekend bc I just bought it 5mos ago and its a FUCKING MESS but I didnt say anything, he just got in, and then maybe like 20min later, super casually, he was like,
"I think its so hot you actually put ur truck to work"
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every time I post a blunt photo now I think about that rando that called me a spoiled pothead brat lmao anyway, my boyfriend smoked this on the deck while I blew him
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this guy asked if I wanted kids? and I told him I didn't want give birth but that I'd like to adopt or foster, and he said that he didn't want to raise someone else's kid and he canceled our date this weekend
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I met my boyfriend at my house for our lunch breaks today, and he showed up with a truck bed of livestock fence materials and later I thanked him for looking after me and my gaggle of animals and he said, "they're mine too."
IM CRYING you guys. I've been crying about it
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over the weekend my boyfriend asked me how I felt about moving in, and then this morning I found his housekeys on my keyring
lol 🫠
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what's an appropriate response for when your 54 year old weekend lover sends you a photo of him with his 20 year old son and they're both so hot???
"daddies" ???? send help I have no chill
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woke up a brunette and I haven't felt MORE like myself since 2019 🎉🎉
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this morning my bestfriend received an apple pay for $150 and then a text saying it was a mistake and could you please send it back? and when she sent it back, they said, you know what thanks for being honest, keep the $150
in case you needed a little faith in humanity
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remember when cady heron pretended to suck at math so aaron samuels would tutor her
that's me asking my neighbor to borrow his drill 2 weeks ago while I've got an entire dewalt catalog in my closet
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I fucking love it when you guys divorce your husbands.
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WE'RE IN HAWAII
Ya heartbreak sucks but ya ever shoot your shot with the barback at your neighborhood bar and he says he has a girlfriend
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was bored at home so I went to the bar my neighbor works at and sat down next to this guy from alaska that my neighbor has known since junior high and he's so hot and honestly WHAT is my life and HOW is it so perfect
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I was fully on the phone w my bestfriend laughing about how we're so good at doing a lot with a little
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my sugar daddy and my biological dad both texting me "my girl 😍" in the same 10 min is giving me the ick about myself what tf micaela
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I was telling my boyfriend about the breastfeeding conference I've been in all week for work and he doesn't know much about half the shit I was rambling about, but he listened anyway, and when I was done he smiled and said, "I love your voice."
Just date someone who likes you 👍
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anytime someone asks what my boyfriend is like, I tell them, "we're exactly the same person!"
and then today, this man went to the hardware store and came back with 40 acres of land, so 🤌
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first blunt in like 3 years that I've rolled
LIKE RIDIN A BIKE BABY
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Also, I met a guy at the bar who's 22 years my senior, and I'm absoluuuutely going back to his hotel room across the street later 🥵🥵
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when your boss asks if you can take her to fleet to pick up the govt car but your 4runner smells like you smoked an eighth of weed in it with your bestfriend last night
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POV: we make out one time and then I make you my emergency contact for everything.
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this guy was buying stuff off my Amazon list last night and then he looked at me like, "is that all?" and I told him no, venmo your kids rent money
and he did it, so call me the public service queen
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my 🍯 daddy thought dating a chick 22 yrs younger than him would mean shopping trips and fancy dinners but I'm over here asking this man for a lift kit on the runner, livestock fence, and a new shed
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being ok with being alone is the biggest flex
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I forgot who it was but someone DMed me once, "how'd you get john cena to follow you?" and I replied, "that's my ex."
and they didn't even call bullshit on me
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the way ya'll fight with each other on this app and fill your phone galleries with screenshots of other people's tweets is so fucking weird to me. I hope ya'll find peace somewhere, anywhere. I cannot mute ya'll quick enough
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and his immediate response was that it "made his night" and that he's "gotta live up to it"
and just? how refreshing to have your needs met instead of used against you
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@mosigsoodle
@bethscase3214
@sandiegozoo
@tarongazoo
More often than not, an animal is placed in custody of a zoo for medical or rehabilitation reasons.
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I'm fucking obsessed with my house these days 🥰 yeah that's potting soil on my kitchen counter w/e
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I opened the barn door this morning, and not a single goat got up. so I laid down with them, and then the sun came out, and I'm just really in love with the way this place looks this morning, and I'm really grateful to be here with all my beebs
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My exfiance's sister after finding out I'm finally dating someone age appropriate
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friendsgiving but its you at your new home with all 7 of your animals being grateful for the time you pulled all 8 of yall out of the darkest time in your life
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casual reminder not to skip your property walkabouts
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my faux-mom told me this morning that the renter after me already gave them his notice to vacate and asked if I wanted to move back in? lol? and wouldn't that be crazy? if I moved back into that cute little house? in that beautiful national forest? lol?
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Hello, I just bought a fucking ladder and I'm feeling very adult
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last night my boyfriend and I ate a bunch of edibles and played jenga in the living room and in the middle of the game this 32-year-old self-employed homeowner looked me in the eye and said, "did I just fall asleep?"
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dating a guy w an anxious attachment meant when I needed space, he went out to fuck his exgirlfriend
dating a guy w an avoidant attachment like me, means when we need space, we just send each other photos of our day with no captions
🫶
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I saw a video of someone microwaving a wet rag and then immediately setting their dough in there to rise and
I will forever be doing that
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being a neat freak is fun cause when a guy texts you at 10am that he wants to come bend you over your kitchen counter later, you don't have to stress clean the whole house, you can just drink whiskey and chop green beans until he gets there
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can't think of a better way to begin 33 than getting laid right off the plane in hawaii 😇
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his level of chill almost makes me wanna change my mind
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I found out that my ex was going to give a handful of tomatoes from his garden (that I planted) to the chick he's going on a date with tonight and so when I was at his house earlier I took them
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woke up in the back of my 4runner yesterday in the forest w a cute boy and we started a fire and made coffee and thought we'd notice the eclipse happened but we were napping on the lake shore instead lol then we went back to his house and finished our naps in the sun on his deck
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when your ex set the bar in the hell and traumatized the whole squad in a single year
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not my sugar daddy trying to gift me a threesome for my birthday
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8am cold plunge except it's slipping on rocks into the creek to get these photos
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My cars been stuck at an average of 15.9 mpg for like 3 months??? Last week I jokingly was like, "all I want for Christmas is 16mpg!!!!"
anyway, good morning 🤣
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last week, my ex text me that crybaby shit? and then that weekend I stumbled into a pub & my daddy picked a table RIGHT next to his friends??? and then monday he was in traffic NEXT TO ME??? and then today, during my 5 min commute, I saw THREE of his companys trucks on the road??
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any time I feel insecure, I sit in the corner of my kitchen counter, admire my home, take a bong rip, and remember who the fuck I am
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I just saw a reel that said, "the potential you see in other people isn't real. it is the projection of what you would do in their position."
lol hahahaha oh
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thoroughly impressed by my first try
will definitely make some adjustments next time ✨️
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I thought the final stage of healing was fucking my ex's brother but I think I probably coulda just gotten away with dancing in my kitchen to the playlist I made during our breakup
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while I was moving I found the jar of names of people I slept with that I used to draw from and tell stories about on a PODCAST and holy hell, 2022 micaela was going THRU IT 🤣 I love her so much
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20 minutes at this beach and I've seen two whale tales and a sea turtle 20ft away 😭
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I just drank and fucked all weekend and now the floors need cleaning and the blankets need folding and the barn needs raking and the laundry needs washing
ugh
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Finally found out what the slot is for in my 4runner
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any time I take a sick day, my boss's immediate response is, "I'm so glad you're prioritizing your health."
and I just really wish that kind of supportive employer on everyone
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woke up in my new house with two snuggly kittens and a bunch of venmo notifications, 33 HAS BEEN AWESOME SO FAR
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so I booked this flight and then hadn't really said anything to anyone and then last night over dinner my bestfriend was like, bitch are you going to hawaii or what? and I was like SHIT, YES, IN 2 WEEKS, CAN U WATCH MY HOUSE?
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not to trauma dump at 8 o'clock on a Wednesday night but my exboyfriend used to show up unannounced to harass me in the middle of the night, and so eventually, the sound of boots walking on wood floors would send me into fight or flight 🫠
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followed my boyfriend home on his bike tonight and I was just fully crying about the fact two years ago I legit wanted to kms and now I'm living, TO THE T, the vision of the life that got me thru it
I'm so fucking fucking fucking grateful
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I woke up drunk yesterday and finally opened all the presents my exboyfriend dropped off last week and now my entire kitchen matches my mixer
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I wish people got upset about the cost of housing, gasoline, and groceries the way they get upset about other people's gender identities
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girlfriend with 5 goats 🤝 boyfriend with an empty barn
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okay but after 12 years of just yappin away on this app I think it's highly appropriate that I marry one of my mutuals
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took a 2 hour nap on the beach next to this sea turtle today
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I'm absolutely not arguing with you wackos in my mentions.
Adopting an animal you didn't research or introduce to your family before committing to is not an excuse to abandon them. That's a human error. Do better.
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and he also sat at the bar telling me how good of a writer he thinks I am and then wrapped me in a hug later in bed saying "I like the way u fuck" and idk, we're not really together, but he's also just kinda my husband at this point
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the day I joined my neighborhood facebook page this was the first post I saw, and I've been talking shit to this lady ever since
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