Ixchel/lamusadelils ๐๏ธ๐๐
@lamusadelils
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Call me Ixchel. Gimme all the AUs. Occasionally NSFW ๐ค Se habla espaรฑol.
Joined February 2021
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Trying my hand at some threadfics to clear space in my mind
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After PhD student Wwx misses an important seminar, prof. Lqr calls him all angry and tells him he's expected to attend next week. No excuses!
So Wwx attends with lil A-Yuan strapped to his chest, half-expecting to be told to leave for disrupting the seminar.
Not on Lqr's watch!
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Camboy!Wwx is in the middle of a stream when someone in the chat mentions they want to tip but don't know the equivalent in their currency so Wwx gives them some tips for doing quick calculations in their head.
Someone jokingly asks for help with their maths homework.
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LRT: Celebrity AU where Lwj is a Good Boy. No scandal at all, no vices, a whole career of perfect professionalism. People respect him, yes, but also think he's kind of boring.
So his agency plans to stir up some drama and pairs him up with 'bad boy' Wwx, a metal vocalist.
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I love it when Lwj is besties with Mianmian, such a great concept. But my weakness is Lwj with bestie WQ.
It's a bitchface friendship. People tremble when they walk side by side, and if you bother either of them you get a double glare that kills you super dead.
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Imagine CelebrityJi doing one of those "reading thirsty tweets" videos with an impassive face.
Until there's one by fellow celebrity Wei Wuxian and he gets all flustered.
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20 year old Lwj does that thing where he pays a monthly fee to sponsor a baby in need and receives letters and photos in exchange.
Those letters bring him joy and eventually they turn into a big comfort for him.
Over the years, seeing A-Yuan's growth makes him proud and happy.
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Taxi driver WWX is a chatterbox that can talk to all kinds of people about everything with charisma and humor.
LWJ tries to intimidate him into silence, mentioning his PhD research.
Little does he know that WWX can follow the conversation perfectly, even suggests useful reads
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I woke up to "Lqr wants grandbabies" headcanons so now I present you this:
Lqr visiting orphaned kids, teaching them to play music. He likes them all, but little A-Yuan charms him so much he decides one of his nephews should adopt him.
Then he learns someone is already on it ๐จ
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AU where WWX grew up with his parents, traveling all around the cultivation world.
He's invited to the Gusu lectures and becomes an instant hit with folks from all sects. He's charming and smart, shamelessly irreverent yet obviously kind and compassionate.
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And that's how he starts doing streams where he explains maths in lingerie.
Algebra Mondays.
Geometry Tuesdays.
Calc Wednesdays.
Arithmetic Thursdays.
Trigonometry Fridays.
He even introduces Physics Saturdays and makes puns about getting physical.
It's very popular.
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Wwx aces his PhD, A-Yuan gets ridiculously spoiled and Lqr's popularity is at an all-time high.
Lqr's other nephew Lwj, who spent a couple years traveling everywhere, comes to settle back home and gets a ready-made family.
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Anyway, AU where LQR goes on a wild phase after retirement, traveling a lot and making all sorts of weird friends.
He's not good with technology, so he never notifies his nephews about his whereabouts or when to expect him back.
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LWJ wears a sweater like this.
WWX takes a picture and posts this joke.
LWJ is really angry because his mom made the sweater and it feels disrespectful. Later, LXC (the traitor) shows their mom the post to explain why LWJ almost got into a fight, and she laughs till she cries.
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Imagine the first time WWX makes LQR laugh.
LWJ: ๐ฎ
LXC: ๐ฏ
The juniors: ๐ฒ
WWX: ๐
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Half an hour later, Wwx is discussing important matters with the other students, debating the most recent research they've all done while Lqr is walking around the classroom with A-Yuan strapped to *his* chest.
A-Yuan is playing with his beard and Lqr doesn't even blink.
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My headcanon for the day: Wangxian decide to adopt another baby when A-Yuan starts walking, so he can have a sibling near his age.
This whole parenting thing has turned out to be lovely and they think the second time will be easier.
Wrong.
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Imagine LWJ trying to save his brother from something risky by impersonating him in secret, then meeting WWX like that.
After, WWX waxes poetics all over Yunmeng about the First Jade's beauty, to everyone's agreement.
Then some time later WWX meets actual LXC and is like ๐
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Thinking about WWX being taken in by the Nie. I've seen some hc and fics where NMJ finds little A-Xian before JFM, and takes him home to be a companion for his little brother.
So I'm thinking of the weeks/months following that, when he realizes what he's gotten himself into ๐ฑ
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Lxc learns of his brother's new math grades and asks for the tutor's contact.
He's in his PhD, which he chose because it wasn't supposed to include maths but then he found that he needed Statistics for his thesis. He really needs a tutor.
Lwj: No ๐ค
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I love that trope where Wwx has tattoos that are not colored in and A-Yuan uses them as a live, portable coloring book.
But!
Imagine: A-Yuan is Lwj's son. The boy gets lost, meets Wwx and imprints on him. When Lwj arrives, A-Yuan is happily using all his markers on Wwx's arm
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When their people bring up the planned breakup, they both refuse.
You see, they work together very well. They're very comfortable with each other. They bring out the best in each other. They're actually very good friends.
So they're not breaking up, thank you very much.
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I don't know if it's funnier if Lwj was a regular who nuts on the spot on that first math stream or if he's desperate for math help and stumbles upon the stream and then nuts on the spot.
Anyway, Lwj has Wwx to thank for passing his math test. He saved Lwj's year.
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Lqr: "You've been improving your grades in math, did you get a tutor"
Lwj: "Yes. Exactly."
Lqr: "Well, it's clearly working and they must be very good. You should get them a gift".
Lwj: "Good idea. I'll do it right away!" *Goes right to Wwx's sex toy & lingerie wishlist*
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Non-cultivator Wwx is a candy maker. He makes intricate little blown sugar candies and always giving a sweet confection to Hanguang-Jun when he passes by.
Hanguang-Jun always goes through town with red ears.
The day Wwx gives him a sugar rabbit, Hanguang-Jun actually *smiles*.
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Lqr learns that Wwx is very busy because he's suddenly a dad, and is thinking of dropping out or at least taking a year off his PhD while he sorts his situation out.
Lqr is NOT having that.
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From then on, the sight of Lqr with a baby strapped to his chest turns into an everyday thing.
Wwx drops by his office all the time, to check on A-Yuan between classes. The office is transformed, completely baby-proofed now.
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A-Yuan having a big cry in public because he saw an ad about how "drinking and driving" is something people go to jail for and his dad always drinks from his water bottle while driving and A-Yuan doesn't want him to go to jail so A-Yuan won't get in the car.
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Tattoo artist WWX inks WN with a design like these, that they jokingly call "resentful energy" and suddenly there's a lot of people at his door asking for the same concept.
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Just... The Wens have to send A-Yuan to live with Wwx for a while but Wwx can't pick him up in their city.
So they send A-Yuan on a flight as an unaccompanied minor. He ends up sitting next to LQR.
The first hour is torture for LQR but in the end they're best friends.
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Despite the fact that Lqr works while caring for A-Yuan most of the time, the baby never fusses.
There's a rumour now that Lqr is a baby whisperer. Words gets out that he cared for famous professor Lan Huan as a baby, and he turned out so well it cements Lqr's reputation.
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WWX, usually unflappable, is nervous because they're organizing a secret winter gift exchange at his new job.
He's only been here for a couple months, but he already knows it will be challenging to get a good enough gift for his boss, LQR.
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Hanguang-Jun is kidnapped by the YLLZ and everyone believes it's an act of war or something but YLLZ just wanted him to play soothing spiritual music for his kid.
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Modern Nmj, refusing to get glasses because of old-school prejudices but Nhs tells him it's the new sexy (he just wants Da-ge to take care of himself) and Nmj is like ๐ง
Anyway, he gets new glasses and from then on, whenever he goes people around him walk into posts. Weird.
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Thinking of WWX as an escape room actor who loves doing the scary bits and has fun chewing the scenery every session. He goes extra intense for the folks that pretend not to be scared.
Enter the Lan brothers. LXC is terrified and can't think under pressure. LWJ is ๐ all along.
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I think I've talked about this before, or a similar scenario, but it's the kind of dynamic that lives permanently in my head.
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Wwx in this pose, with Lil Apple ๐คญ
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Bikers WWX and WN would look very fierce and all but they would stop to help people on the regular like these guys here:
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Celebrityxian (cough cough Metalxian) doing the hot wings challenge with no visible reaction at all, then he kisses his boyfriend LWJ (cough cough Modelji) and LWJ goes all red and teary eyed, then he does the ๐ฅบ face and asks 'Wei Ying, why?'
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So over the next days Wwx plasters himself to Lwj's side and talks his ear off about everything they can work on. Lwj listens raptly to every word.
He's going to stay here, and make an actual change and spend time with all these people.
He's going to marry that man.
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Now thinking of LQR having an unexpected surgery and while being loopy on anesthesia, he blurts out all the good things he thinks about WWX.
LWJ and LXC watch in amusement as WWX turns tomato red at all the praise their uncle throws his way.
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Thinking about YLLZ and crows.
Specifically, the fact that crows remember faces and pass on the word about their foes to other crows for generations, so if you upset a crow you could be attacked for years even by crows that didn't know you before.
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Consumed by TransJi thoughts and how protective his family would be of him, after he comes out.
They've had incidents where old acquaintances have misgendered him, so when they meet old classmate Wwx, both Lxc and Lqr have the knives ready ๐ช๐ช
Wwx: Lan Zhan, uh? Lovely name!
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#omegaji
(This is a "OmegaJi wants babies but he's single so he goes for artificial insemination" AU)
Lxc wants a photo session of heavily pregnant OmegaJi with his belly painted in a cutesy way. That's just how Lxc is. He insists until Lwj agrees.
AlphaXian is the artist.
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WWX and his childhood bestie WQ, both so close that when WQ wanted a baby during her twenties, WWX offered to donate sperm without a second thought.
In his mind, their close friendship could become a happy marriage with kids.
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What if WarprizeJi arrives at the BM as the husband of powerful, apparently heartless YLLZ, but then once he's there he's basically ignored and is left to his own devices and he wanders around the place until he meets young, lovely non-cultivator Wei Ying?
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I lied. I have another
#WarprizeJiSeason
headcanon.
Wwx grows up alone and becomes the Yllz, then helps defeat the tyrannous Wen.
This gets him lauded as a hero of the Cultivation world. So much so that they offer him the hand of the most beautiful of the remaining cultivators.
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Imagine if Lwj goes to his math class (which he sort of understands now but he'd rather have
the streams) and turns out his professor introduces her new TA (and of course it's Wwx).
Lwj: ๐ณ
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๐
LWJ receives his change and says a simple thank you to the farmer, his mind in the clouds, when suddenly a small kid clings to his leg.
"Bunny-gege?," asks the little boy who looks up at LWJ with such an adoring expression that he feels completely helpless.
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A morning though: MXY's ritual to bring back WWX turns him into a baby.
WWX wakes up in a strange body and with a wailing bundle in his arms.
So WWX has to do everything post resurrection while caring for a lil baby and MXY gets to grow up with two loving dads.
The end.
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Imagine adult LWJ who still checks his school crush WWX's social media to see what he's doing (he's talented at everything!) and to catch a glimpse of his handsome face years after they stopped talking.
Then one day WWX posts the pic of a tiny baby fist holding his finger.
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Wwx praising Lwj for getting it right and Lwj thinking he looks much more beautiful in person and daydreaming about what kind of underwear he must be wearing.
Wwx: "So you like math?"
Lwj's brain: "I know what your O face looks like"
2
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Little A-Yuan telling his favorite professor, LWJ, that his dad loves 'penis'.
LWJ is worried until he talks to WWX, who laughs and says that A-Yuan has trouble pronouncing 'peanuts'.
So all is well.
Until WWX leaves with a whispered "Between you and me, I also love penis ๐"
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WWX fostering 12yo MXY and managing to lower the boys defenses by telling him about his own experiences as an orphan and past struggles with poverty.
MXY slowly becomes more open and starts to trust WWX because he *understands*.
In just a few months, he calls WWX dad.
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Professor WWX would be the kind to encourage students to create comprehensive cheat sheets for tests, and give extra points to those who hide them in the cleverest ways.
His students prepare those chest sheets with care, and in the end they don't even need them.
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Thinking of WWX bartending at a nightclub and befriending LXC, who frequently goes there to dance, flirt and more.
LXC doesn't drink, so WWX makes him fancy mocktails and they chat sometimes, before LXC is snatched up for the evening by some pretty thing.
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I've seen a lot of rich LWJ giving WWX fancy makeovers and fine dining. That's fine if it rocks your boat but the scenario I *really* like is the reverse where WWX takes LWJ thrifting, treats him to street food and affordable activities and LWJ has fun because it's with WWX.
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#dadxianweek
Wwx grew up in foster care and as a teenager he ended up with Xxc and SL. He's so thankful for their support and care that when he's an adult he stays as a mentor for other kids.
Until one day 7yo Mxy attaches to him more than usual like "you're mine now".
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Funny if Wwx makes the rounds around the classroom, helping people with their questions and he asks Lwj something.
Lwj's mouth: *Answers correctly*
Lwj's brain: *Thinking of the beautiful lacy set Wwx wore when he explained this two weeks ago*
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Botanist WWX discovers a new orchid species and names it after his old crush LWJ. He doesn't think anyone from his old life would even care about this kind of thing, or know to look for him in some lovesick nerd gesture.
But that's how LWJ finds him years later ๐ฅน
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Single dad WWX getting A-Yuan a drum set and giving neighbor LWJ a tequila bottle with this note in apology for the upcoming noise.
LWJ gives the tequila back with a note saying he doesn't drink but he can give the boy some music classes for free.
The rest is history
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Just LWJ in a 20 minute drive, going to "Will this man ever shut up?" to "I think I will have to credit him in my thesis" to "Summer wedding... spring would be too soon. But maybe he'll be on board?"
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Btw, LWJ mentions his PhD not to be a snob, exactly. He just knows that every time he mentions this rather obscure subject people's gazes tend to go glassy and they just smile awkwardly and fall silent. It's happened even from closer acquaintances. He couldn't predict WWX.
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Party motivator WWX, hired to attend parties and be pretty and charming, making people dance and socialize.
He's very successful.
So much so that once he even managed to make *THE* Lan Wangji dance with him ๐บ
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961
Thinking of LWJ when he first adopts bby A-Yuan, watching the infant doing a cute face as he sleeps. Or maybe he sneezes one of those tiny adorable sneezes. You know, those overwhelmingly cute things that babies do.
And LWJ is so overcome with love that he bites his husband
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Then Lqr uses all his knowledge of Wwx to turn everything around so married Lwj and Wwx can adopt without worrying that some insignificant past infractions will affect them.
Wangxian end up adopting several kids and Lqr is a very happy granduncle indeed. The end.
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My only
#WarprizeJiSeason
thought rn is that it would be HILARIOUS if everyone was practically pressuring the YLLZ to get concubines.
And he's a big old virgin who loves to flirt but clutches at invisible pearls when anyone gets closer so he chooses the "innocent" one ๐คก
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I think Wwx is the kind of person that would loooove puzzles with 3000+ pieces
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Thinking of Dragon!LXC desperately looking for his lost baby brother, only to find him happily munching on a very fierce-looking tiger's ear.
The tiger form is huge and imposing but that's nothing on the man he turns into when he notices an adult dragon appear.
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938
LQR goes to the park every morning to berate people who feed ducks things they shouldn't eat.
One day he sees WWX surrounded by ducks and gets flashbacks to the annoying, loud & brash student he once was. He's prepared to rage at him but turns out WWX is a bird vet now.
2
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931
Thinking of YLLZ!WWX actually sending a delirious love confession to LWJ... but in some kind of code that he imagines it's super easy to figure out for the two parties involved.
It's not.
LWJ doesn't understand it but he still treasures the message for years to come.
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932
LQR, knowing his nephew is fond of rabbits, sees these jeans and decides they're a nice gift for LWJ.
He has no clue about what they mean.
2
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934
LWJ as an inspector, flirting with WWX with a completely serious face:
(I know it may seem like WWX would be more the type to make this joke but LWJ with his ๐ face would be funnier and more charming)
5
147
950
Thinking of WWX being broke af and someone suggesting dog walking for some easy money but obviously that's something that he will never do.
One day NHS is like "hey would you walk Da-Ge's iguana? He's too busy but Baxia needs sun"
And that's how WWX becomes an exotic pet walker
3
137
916
@Netrixie
@cicerfics
Hahaha drugs for producing more slick, then products to keep the slick discreet and manageable (be an independent omega who needs no knot!).
Commercials with weird visual metaphors for this: dew sliding down a leaf in slow motion or something like that.
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20
898
Creepy child A-Yuan is a sleepwalker in my mind.
I'm sure he's almost caused several heart attacks for his family, appearing in the most unexpected places in the middle of the night, like in front of a mirror in the dark, or standing still by the door of the bedroom, eyes vacant
1
121
915
WWX giving this to LQR at the end of the year
5
101
903
I have the headcanon that rabbits follow LWJ around in the Cloud Recesses. But what if this also happened elsewhere?
LWJ walking with random rabbits hopping behind him. Someone's dinner just decided to follow Hanguang-Jun. A children's pet just clings to him one day.
7
78
882
What they expected: Lwj and Wwx would despise each other, appear together a couple times, and the public talk about it would boost both their careers. Maybe Lwj would clean up Wwx's image a bit.
What actually happens: Lwj is a HUGE Wwx fan and takes advantage of this strategy.
1
15
877
People back at Yunmeg are completely flabbergasted when WWX comes back to talk everyone's ears off about the Second Jade and his beauty beyond compare.
"Weren't you obsessed with the First Jade?"
"That was before I was introduced to Lan Zhan ๐"
5
27
891
Wangxian get baby A-Yuan and obviously a couple months later they're sleep deprived zombies.
So Lxc, as the excellent brother and uncle he is, volunteers to take care of A-Yuan for a weekend.
He had plans with his best friend Nmj but he'll understand, right?
5
185
885
What... What if modern Wangxian meet orphan A-Yuan one day and of course love him immediately and he seems to like them too so they ask "Would you like to be our son?"
But A-Yuan screams "NOOO!" and runs from them.
Turns out he has a sister and he won't go anywhere without her.
4
83
868
Thinking of LWJ deciding to be "lazy" for once in his life and ordering food from a fancy place instead of cooking.
Delivery man WWX is really hungry so he surreptitiously sniffs the delicious smelling food he's delivering while he waits for the door to open.
1
100
883
Thinking of metal Dadxian. Like, all the tattoos, long hair, black outfit and all that but he's carrying a lil kid around.
Maybe A-Yuan has a miniature version of a leather jacket.
Just picture them and tell me how in the world would LWJ not fall for them.
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875
Window cleaner WWX slowly makes friends with LWJ's rabbits because their hutch and playpen are visible from the big windows that WWX cleans once a month.
It's a sloooow process but LWJ is usually working at that time so he never notices it.
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861
Wwx doesn't even blink. Not at the name change, new hair or style of clothing. The tension in Lwj's shoulders eases as the conversation progresses.
Lqr is worried because Lwj seems a bit flustered still, but Lxc just shakes his head 'That's a different issue, Uncle'.
2
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853
In turn, Lwj is finding the real Wwx to be even more lovable than the public one he had a crush on.
He's very soft and caring, his charm is NOT a production of his team by clever camera angles and heavy editing.
Lwj finds himself in love, for real. Not a superficial crush.
1
9
845
Lwj goes a little bit feral, actually. He knows it's all arranged and has an expiration date, so he clings to this chance to be with his long time crush.
It is Lwj who initiates their most heated public kissing and makes the most obvious love gestures. He writes songs for Wwx.
1
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840
I just think that Wangxian...
(dentist!Lwj and patient!Wwx?)
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Wwx is taken aback by this. He expected a stuffy goody-two-shoes, some arranged public outings and Lwj in private being uncaring, haughty and ignoring everyone around.
Turns out Lwj is very attentive, if quiet. He's also VERY physical. There's way more pda than Wwx expected.
1
9
832
The funny thing is, he mostly recognized some people by their voices. He used to greet his kind, nice neighbor every morning.
Now with his improved eyesight, he sees the usual blue dressed person in high definition for the first time.
It's his turn to walk into a post.
7
28
840
Barista!WWX makes these for LWJ, always a different bnnuy design.
LWJ keeps coming back every day, obviously.
Eventually he will learn that WWX doesn't make coffee like this for anyone else.
4
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832
Lwj goes from frantic, almost panicking dad to relieved dad to suspicious overprotective dad to confused dad to impressed dad to amused dad to submissive and breedable DILF in like 5 seconds.
3
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831
WWX as a Wen bodyguard.
He's in the background during WX's awkward arranged date with LWJ.
WX can't see bc WWX is behind him, but WWX keeps making faces and smirking at every subtly bitchy sentence that LWJ says.
LWJ accepts a second date with WX just to see WWX again.
4
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Once again thinking of de-aged LQR.
Imagine if he turns into a solemn child, taking the change in stride. Except he can't always control himself. He's just a child, after all.
So he's all serious and silent while eating, as per the rules, but he suddenly giggles bc of WWX.
2
88
834
Actor WWX who usually acts in horror themed stuff, and his
#1
fan LWJ who is terrified and can't sleep when he watches a WWX movie. He watches all of them, several times, and often has to soothe himself in the dark afterwards.
3
76
834
Thinking of author LWJ.
Specifically, thinking of a fan of author LWJ, someone who loves his books but acknowledges that he's a very private man. There are a few interviews, but info about him is so scarce that the little bio at the end of each book is actually noteworthy.
5
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827
Thinking of Farmer WWX actually growing a little boy amongst the radishes without even intending to.
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