https://t.co/SpKU4a14cl IF YOU KNOW THE IDENTITY OF THIS YOUNG WOMAN PLEASE PUT ME IN TOUCH, LRH RESEARCH INCORPORATED HAS A JOB FOR HER.

https://t.co/V0Vum1IFuG users were split over the President's recent remarks that "G-Max" (Ghislaine Maxwell) could "Plead the fifth all over this dick." Many users reacted with the 🌽 Corn Emoji indicating they found the comments 'Corny' (white-sounding) while others reacted

Did you know? "No cap" is actually a not-so-subtle way for antisemites to call for the Yarmulke to be abolished. That's why I'm proud to introduce legislation that makes saying the disgusting phrase online a federal hate crime.

Mr. Epstein accused me of trying to pull a “coon maneuver” and demanded I leave the island because my black skin was upsetting George Bush. I know my presence reflects poorly on me as well, but I feel it is imperative you all know this man is a not just a child rapist, he is a

Quad rules so much

Did you know? Since the new @UnitedKingdom guidelines against pointed augers and bits, the Drill genre has renamed to Droll and now focuses on light-hearted merriment and whimsy instead of thumping urban swagger

Best practices: Respond to all scam\phishing attempts with "im gay"

When I designed https://t.co/AQ7SgR3ehP I only wanted to improve my success at cruising. I never dreamed I would have such a dramatic effect on US Politics. I'd like to personally apologize to Senator @tedcruz for invading his privacy and reiterate that while my app is 99%

#DYK ? @BryanCranston's lineage is clan Cram-Stone, a group of Gaelic highlanders who made their living cramming heavy rocks into their rectums so they could win big at carnival "Guess your age and weight" games. Sadly, they were later genocided by the Flinstones and few remain.

https://t.co/i4AgppzHNB

"Put two in a Jew!" Zohran Mamdami instructs NYPD to fire a lagniappe shot at Jewish suspects to save money on lawsuits.

I have been trying to disguise my cafe as pro-MAGA so I can report agents on the ICEwatch app. Today a couple of ICE guys came in and said they were looking for some *n-slurs* to “sneed”. I didn’t know what that meant so I thanked them for their service and they left

Turns out the sonic weapon causing lifelong trauma and vomiting was just a Linkin Park cd #HavanaSyndrome

https://t.co/4wbchsxsmD

As your principal I can assure you, the school will not allow your “salute to all the Jews I jorked to” to be broadcast on the Cougar News Youtube channel, no matter how many “nuts you busted”

W Z U P my G, looking for a homo homie to B my butt buddy and/or ass amigo. Hit me up to get your dick sucked. Sincerely, Barrack Hussein Obama

DAYUMN SON, WHERE'D YA FIND THIS? (UNREDACTED EPSTEIN SUICIDE VIA CARRADINE-STYLE-AUTOASPHIXIATION TAPES)

Can I offer some constructive feedback? Try using terms like “opportunity” or “investment vehicle”. We very rarely call them “sheeny schemes” in front of clients in this day and age.

Asked the other bartender for a “new jigger” but my words got confused and she got all screechy at me. I hate working at a woke bar.

<@anjii> i’m sick of twitter users abbreviating “shot” or “shooting” as “sh*t” and “sh**ting”

troll idea: /r/livingwithit, a subreddit where domestic violence victims who have resigned themselves to the abuse share tips for how to apply cover-up makeup and roll with punches