frankly Jennifer Garner what is in my wallet is none of your business

Any e-bike companies have any they wanna send my way?? 🤗

Any extra care packages laying around? 🤗 @EmbarkStudios @ARCRaidersGame

ARC Raiders is absolute cinema. Such a dramatic ending! 📽️ u/DeVoniiX

this weekend at a yard sale i saw someone trying to sell a used VHS copy of Batman Forever for $8 and i have been jealous of this person’s combination of optimism and confidence ever since

T-Mobile sent Billy Bob Thornton to a desolate ranch to chat about its coverage AT&T countered by sending Luke Wilson to an even more desolate ranch Verizon has no choice but to escalate by sending Walton Goggins to the Gobi desert

More like longer things, amirite?

doordash driver tonight handed me my food, gave me two thumbs up and a huge smile, and then said “ok, enjoy! you are the best in town!” before walking away maybe the best personal interaction i’ve had in… my whole life?

my dream job is to be the guy who renames streaming services every 12-18 months ($725k/yr)

the commercial that implies your current phone is boring and plain by replacing it with cones of vanilla ice cream does not really work because i never come away from it thinking “i need a new phone” i usually come away thinking “i want some ice cream”

hearing reports from multiple high-placed sources that taylor swift's new album features "an 80- or 90-second kazoo solo" trying to confirm

ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER — lord what a movie — i love a story about a bozo who develops a purpose — Benicio del Toro’s character is one of the most solid dudes in the history of cinema

they asked me to be the ceo of disney but i said no (too busy)

All I want is a delicious chicken sandwich, a large sweet tea, and little goddamn tolerance. Step your game up, @ChickfilA.

pic of me at wawa ordering a sandwich at the touchscreen

i love watching the US Open because you’ll be locked in on two competitors playing tennis at the highest level, a shot-for-shot battle of the body and mind, and then the coverage will smash-cut to the most random celebrity you can think of just sitting in the stands eating a hot

I wouldn't be opposed to switching to a breakfast sandwich-based economy. Couldn't hurt.

started watching Butterfly on Prime Video and i am pleased to report that the show has introduced one of my favorite characters... Assassin Who Eats A Piece Of Fruit With A Knife

FX2 finally arrived. I find it hilarious it has a “Made for iPhone/iPad” label on the back 😂

Love seeing everyone get the fx2 after they shit on it all week when it was announced lol. Can’t wait for mine to come in next week.