25th June 2024 ✊🇰🇪
@kuirab
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A Creative Optimist who loves coffee and elephants
Nairobi Kenya
Joined July 2009
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Pinned Tweet
Life is what happens when you're busy making plans
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Nabii is finding it hard to believe tunachangiana mpaka pesa ya bail na printing. It’s ALL OF US! Not one of us! 😂
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We’ve been rescued from Dusit. I have a new found respect for Kenyan cops, so professional as they evacuated us. Thank you all for the prayers 🙏
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The State House kitchen staff will now start waking up at 5am to cook tea instead of brunch at midday as they have the last 10 years 😂
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Surely, they need to open up processional way and arboretum. The traffic is insane. Aende aishi Sugoi if the city is too dangerous for him smh
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I wish the universe saw me the same way M-Pesa sees me when it tells me that I can transact 299k in a day 😂
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but why is the designer of the team Kenya kit travelling to Paris? Anaenda kushonesha zingine huko?
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You're Babu Owino's party leader no? start there
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Yaani, the MCA slip had like 30 people 😂😂😂😂 I ended up voting for a guy with a beard like mine, don’t even know his name 😂
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I remember during Covid days when we all joined an IMF zoom call mpaka wakazima 😂😂 The signs have always been there
#RejectFinanceBill2024
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Much is not being said about employers who have given their employees the afternoon off to exercise their civic duty. I know a couple that have done that. You're on the right side of history.
#RejectFinanceBill2024
#OccupyParliament
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Health CS Mutahi said he secretly removed labels from PPEs imported from China & privately sent them to KEBS for testing. The masks failed the liquid penetration test. He also sent from the same batch, the same PPEs but this time with labels. They passed with flying colours-DN 😂
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These guys who run/walk/jog around Kilimani & Kileleshwa at 9am, wanafanya kazi wapi?
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I like how in Kenya we talk about 2 Billion shillings like its 20 bob.
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Female employees of beer making East African Breweries Limited (EABL) will get up to six months paid maternity leave in line with British parent company Diageo’s global policy for its workers expected to go live on July 1-BD
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The new crop of MPs and MCAs are in for a shock. SRC has slashed car grants and sitting allowances-attending plenary session is their job & they earn a salary from it - this is good news. The new regulations have been gazetted. 👏👏👏
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Kenya Power sent a Sh2.8B quote to Steel billionaire Narendra Naval to connect electricity to one of his clinker factories in Emali. So he built his own power plant that now produces 28 MW of electricity & that’s how KP lost a chance to collect Sh200M monthly in power bills-DN
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The private hospitals are the absolute ghetto. Nairobi hospital you’ll go with a sprained toe but get at least 8 tests done then end up with pain killers of 200/- but your bill is 10K. Discovered Maria Immaculata hospital on Gitanga road and I’ve never looked back.
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They have started arresting youth in Nyahururu because Nabii is going to the ACK church there tomorrow. De-platform these politicians everywhere you see them!
#FreeBilly
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This has to be the funniest thing I’ve seen this week lol
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Walked into an Artcaffe yesterday; only two employees were manning the branch. I asked one of them usually how many they are & he said 16, which means 87% are home. Now multiply that effect with all restaurants-a whole sector brought to it’s knees. Something has to give 😢
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It will now be illegal for companies to collect personal data from Kenyans to use for direct marketing without obtaining users’ consent according to the Data Protection (General) Regulations, 2021-STD
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As someone said, this is what happens ukitumia kichwa kama dispenser ya mate
Tunauliza tuuu kwa unyenyekevu hatuna ubaya sisi 🙏🏽😆😆
#NRGBreakfastClub
@NRGRadioKenya
@xclusivedeejay
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I don't get it. Our public schools don't have enough teachers, but we are "flagging" them off to other countries? If this isn't government-sponsored exported slavery I don't know what is
Prime CS Musalia Mudavadi flags off 67 Kenyan teachers who have secured job placements in various schools in the USA
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We all wish the spikes you call hair would be antennas to crowdsource intelligence
My Next Song Release Will Stop Corona 🔥
#BAHATI2020
Subscribe "BAHATI KENYA" YouTube Link on my Bio
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Guys, there’s already a song 😂😂😂😂 I think Its called “under 2 hours” 👏😂
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So, the KICC management led by CEO Nana Gecaga & the entire board went to Mauritius for six days to receive 2 awards. That trip cost sh10M. Ms Gecaga pocketed sh776,500 as per diem for the duration, each of the 8 board members got Sh583,000 & the CEO’s PA got Sh300,850 😂
#Kenya
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Igathe would have performed better in this debate if he was the one sweeping the stage and handing out drinking water
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There’s a butcher (Ibrahim’s Butchery) at City Market that has started selling aged beef to customers. The 21-day aged steak retails at Sh1,295 a kilo. The prime cuts come from Angus cattle, a rare breed found in Nanyuki - BD
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Doing this to people at a time when Kenya is arguably getting the most rains in decades is not only inhumane, but pure evil. May the curses follow them and their generations
“Ruto, tulikupigia kura na sasa unabomoa nyumba zetu bila notice…Mungu anakuona,” women cry out as government demolishes their houses in Mukuru kwa Reuben
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Google Kenya should get all Uber drivers in a room and teach them how to read maps. They can make it their CSR.
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😂 someone shouted Wamlambez as Theresa May left No. 10 Downing Street
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Can't believe it's been a year. Some didn't make it out of Dusit, but I'm grateful I'm one of those that made it out. Never take for granted the gift of life, always give thanks.
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Thank you Max for bringing out the real Ezekiel Mutua 😂😂😂😂😂 funniest thing I’ve seen this week.
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This Ad cost them around 450K. An Adobe license for about 10 people is about 90K 😂, but boxes must be ticked and agenda must agend.
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I’m so averse to data collection at office entrances I always change digits of either my phone number or ID.
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Netflix - $11.99
Apple TV- $4.99
Prime Video-$2.99
HBO- $15
DSTV Premium- $72
🤷🏾♂️🤷🏾♂️🤷🏾♂️
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The Taliban are planning to hold the inauguration of their government on 9/11 lol
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Mentally we need to start realising that the dollar exchange rate is Sh110 and not 100 when doing math mentally 😒
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Soon Supermarket cashiers will start calling EACC & DCI if you have Shower Gel & Deo in the same shopping basket. It’s so expensive 😒
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His ego has been bruised and he has been embarrassed in front of his white friends.
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This is how you give Ezekiel Mutua the finger-by putting it on the front page lol
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17 beach hotels at the coast have banned the use of plastic bottles and straws in their establishments in an initiative dubbed “Plastic Free East Africa Coast”. They will replace the plastic bottles with sustainable alternatives-DN
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They’re auctioning off everything including bedsheets for the Intercontinental Hotel which closed its doors permanently in August.
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Hehe, when you see Nyakundi defending Cytonn, that's your proof that it's a scam. Run my beloveds, RUN!
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Kenya Railways will on Friday restart commercial passenger service on the Nairobi-Nanyuki line. Commuters from Nairobi to Nanyuki will pay Sh200 fare-the train has a capacity of 1,600 passengers. If you depart Nairobi at 8am, you'll get to Nanyuki at 2pm-BD
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I’ve just heard a neighbor shouting to her husband, “umetoka wapi saa hii? Shika sanitizer kwanza, unafaa ujiquarantine kwa corridor” 😂😂 these are the end times aki
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UK even got a Jamaican accent, now he’s saying Jah Love 😂😂
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IG watu wamejaa super spreader events alafu Kesho waende ofisi na watu wamekaa kwa nyumba all weekend. Such is life.
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Don’t follow these streets 😂 apparently Lee Kinyanjui has retained the Nakuru Governorship & Ngirici has won in Kirinyaga as Governor
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Funny how your video includes milk and fuel; two things that are pretty rare these days. I do applaud the audacity though, it's pretty abundant.
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Safaricom’s market valuation has exceeded 50% of the Sh2.2 trillion NSE stock market. That means Safaricom is now worth more than the combined valuation of all the other 62 listed companies-BD
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Fatherhood. This should be an interesting journey. We give thanks. 🙏
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How old were you when you realized TLC’s Waterfalls is about HIV/AIDS?
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There's a clown on the office block whose wifi is called "Haiya, Hauna Bundles?" So disrespectful 😂😂
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Safaricom revised M-pesa charges
Schools have closed
Employers say people can work from home
Italy has suspended taxes
Ronaldo has turned his hotels into hospitals
Louis Vuitton is making & giving away sanitizers for free
@KRAcare
si ata you suspend PAYE for a month?
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This is by far the funniest thing I’ve seen in 2018. I’m in tears 😂😂😂😂😂
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Walking around at work & chatting with random people is considered lazy, unless you’re the CEO, then you’re down to earth.
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Athi River came home after being away for a while and asked “who dis”?
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Safaricom will introduce a feature blocking customer contact details when making payments through Lipa na M-PESA, to curb personal information being traded to advertisers or fraudsters-BD 👏👏👏
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Hoteliers in Malindi have decried the loss of business as more and more people prefer using Airbnb which has proven to be more cheaper and convenient than normal hotel rooms-BD
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That Peponi post by PDU is just disrespectful to be honest
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Drinkers in Ireland are buying cheap one-way flights to gain access to the bars in airport departures, which have remained open while every other pub in the country is shut 😂 some tell hostesses "let the plane go without us-we only came for the booze" 😂
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Again, In Kenya we talk about a Billion shillings the same way we talk about buying a loaf of bread. It's mind boggling
The printing of new currency notes would cost Sh14.2 billion, the Central Bank of Kenya has disclosed to MPs.
Read more:
#starkenyanews
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Si at least angoje wasign Cheques za influencers
INTERIOR CS Matiangi signs deportation orders against 17 foreigners who are directors of gambling firms.
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The Ngong-Rongai-Nairobi terminus SGR train is about to kill the matatu industry. The customer wins in the end.
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People should read this article and see the rot that is in this country 😂
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Politicians playing modest by queuing to cast their vote & next week they're back to harassing us by overlapping in traffic
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You know, we should not ignore the fact that if you have the guts to say that the age consent when it comes to sex should be lowered to 14 years, you’ve probably engaged in sex with a minor and you’re probably still doing it. It’s sad.
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You guys 😂Tanzania is buying their BRT buses (80-person capacity buses) from Kenya-from Labh Singh Harnam Singh (LSHS)-these guys have 70-year plus experience in building buses. Kenya is planning to buy theirs from South Africa. -BD
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Nakumatt UKAY has been built on a river, so has SouthEnd Mall opposite T-Mall; It actually floods in the basement when it rains, but NEMA approved construction, you wonder how. As I said earlier, NEMA is just a stooge used to settle scores & shaft those who refuse to pay bribes.
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Ah, ati Riggy G is the designated survivor ndiyo maana hayuko Bomas 😂😂😂
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A microwave oven was leased to Kakamega Level 5 Hospital at Sh1.2M, three spotlights at Sh4.2M (the market price for a theatre spotlight is Sh1,900 a unit). For a patient trolley that costs Sh26,680 a unit, tax payers paid Sh1.4M a unit-STD
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Why are we transferring Kenya Meat Commission to the Ministry of Defence?
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Suddenly we have CEO “experts” lol. Calm down and worry about your CRB status first.
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If you’re a Creative or in Advertising, you need to watch a series called Abstract on Netflix. It’s pretty interesting
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