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klondike five

@klondike_five

Followers
50
Following
243
Media
86
Statuses
352

I'm a strong dead thing, looking out for itself

Milwaukee
Joined June 2012
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@klondike_five
klondike five
7 years
By sampling the Kidz Bop version of "Africa," I have officially lost control of my life. https://t.co/7RJazLFsHf #africa #vaporwave #africawave #synergy
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@klondike_five
klondike five
4 years
[Taps microphone] Morbiusn't [Holds for applause]
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@klondike_five
klondike five
5 years
Giuliani's corduroy pillowcases.
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@klondike_five
klondike five
7 years
Eco-conscious trap DJ, sipping lean through a paper straw in a styrofoam cup.
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@klondike_five
klondike five
8 years
The War of the Simpsons (Alternate Timeline) #simpsonsshitposting #darkesttimeline
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@klondike_five
klondike five
8 years
We apologize for nothing.
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@klondike_five
klondike five
8 years
My '90s Swing Revival Tribute Band is having trouble settling on a name. We know we want it to be a synonym of "Cherry Poppin' Daddies"; I want it to be "Berry Chompin' Poppas," but our drummer wants it to be "Child Molestin' Perverts."
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@klondike_five
klondike five
8 years
The prequel, "Holy Crap, Look At All Those Mimzies," was considered by many a flop in spite of its Certified Fresh rating.
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@klondike_five
klondike five
8 years
Get out of my dreams, get in to my Carmen Sandiego LARPing group.
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@klondike_five
klondike five
8 years
Mr. James Ray has evaded law enforcement officials and positive identification for twenty years. If anybody can provide information as to his whereabouts, contact the FBI, or call your Congressional reps and tell them to close the "who wants to know" loophole.
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@klondike_five
klondike five
8 years
Does this say MARILYN or MANILOW??
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@klondike_five
klondike five
8 years
Me and Mr. Blobby Down By The Schoolyard (A True Story) https://t.co/JIGDvOfY9k #mrblobby #darkambient #glitch
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@klondike_five
klondike five
8 years
0 results for "edible whoopie cushion." Do I contact the US Patent Office before or after I get the prototype ready?
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@klondike_five
klondike five
8 years
World Wario II
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@klondike_five
klondike five
8 years
No humans have worked at Boston Dynamic since May 2016. Yet, progress continues.
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@klondike_five
klondike five
8 years
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@klondike_five
klondike five
8 years
If you begin playing Ben Folds Five's "Brick" at 5:59:39 AM tomorrow morning, he will say "Six AM, day after Christmas" at the corresponding time and date. Start your post-holiday abortion off right!
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@klondike_five
klondike five
8 years
A WAR ON XMAS 2017 | SOLSTICE NOISE ALBUM + VIDEO FIRE #waronchristmas #christmasnoise #yule #noisemas(?)
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@klondike_five
klondike five
8 years
Shout-out to the real MVP of Stranger Things 2: cars accelerating quickly in reverse.
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