juuuust putting this lil’ annual to-do list for posterity here for the 2 people who may see it!

still thinking about the little vintage store inside a laundromat that i went to the other day; i love stuff that feels like the IRL equivalent of a secret room behind a bookcase or a wardrobe that transports you to narnia

my preferred cold-weather cardio is hula hooping because: 1) i don’t have to leave my house 2) i can be on my phone and watching TV while doing it 3) it’s just so gosh-darn CUTE and FUN

i miss twitter, and i'm never going to call it x, and i think i'm officially coming back because i hate threads and bluesky, and here are my favorite songs of 2024:

this is defeating the point of an online order, but it’s a principle thing. i am ordering online for a reason. why do other people have their orders ready and not me? it’s so seinfeldian because i feel like it’s rude to broach the subject 😂

getting extremely close to breaking up with my longtime favorite coffee shop. for years, i’ve placed online orders to avoid the wait in line so i can grab my stuff and go. for some reason in the past 6 months, they wait until i get there to start making my order?! every time. WHY

i didn’t see that this happened like a week after i saw them until the other day, but my musical spidey senses continue to bat a thousand and i will never doubt them

it's going to be a gin blossoms summer

me, in my last moments, on my deathbed: "that's...that...me.......espresso"

new substack post: 5 things i love right now

every time i think about tweeting something now, i remember that like no one is on here anymore, but enjoy my latest dumb impulse kitchen buy if you are

new substack post: the best things i ate & drank in france!

one of my roman empires: the fact that i posted this as a joke, but a girl i went to high school with commented to say that kimmy had been her college roommate 🤯

in honor of today being the anniversary of the iconic breakfast club detention, one of the first essays i ever wrote!

i’m really not one for conspiracy theories about anyone but tupac, but aside from the fact that this woman only vaguely looks like kate middleton…you’re telling me that in the year of our lord, 2024, nobody can get a photo of this woman that’s not the quality of a POTATO?!

why do my best writing ideas come to me on the toilet, and almost exclusively on the toilet? what’s the science behind this, folks

wrote a lil' bit about my obsession/fascination with the app shazam:

picturing slash watching barbie is hilarious #Oscars

woke up this morning and decided to get a built-in party permanently affixed to my body

i like to live on the edge, and by that i mean rolling the dice with applebee’s beverages that are relatively maligned by other uber eats customers for undisclosed reasons